HungerFF Presents: Brolapse

In Episode 77 of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Chicago-based creator Grayson Howell to talk about the unexpected path that led him into content creation, kink culture, and the world of fisting.

What starts as a conversation about a viral scene with Wyld Rider quickly turns into something deeper. Grayson opens up about his past working as an LGBTQ addiction counselor, the burnout that came with that career, and the moment he decided to finally take a leap and start posting adult content online.

Along the way, the two discuss body confidence, therapy, and how the bear community helped Grayson find a new sense of self. He also shares how experienced friends in Minneapolis guided him through his first fisting experience, turning what started as curiosity into a passion.

The conversation explores Chicago’s massive fetish ecosystem, long-running kink communities, IML, the rise of fisting culture in modern porn, and why mentorship and trust are central to the scene.

Grayson also breaks down his philosophy as a soft dom fisting top, including why training partners slowly, prioritizing chemistry, and emphasizing aftercare makes for the best experiences.

The result is an episode that is funny, thoughtful, and unexpectedly wholesome for a podcast about punching holes.

X (Twitter):
https://x.com/pupgrayson

BlueSky:
https://sweddybear.bsky.social

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/muleferdan

Linktree (OnlyFans, JustForFans, etc):
https://linktr.ee/sweddybear

Spotify
https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

Apple Podcasts
https://apple.co/408WLLX

Amazon Music & Audible
https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse

iHeartRadio
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-hungerff-presents-brolapse-290151273

🕗 New episodes drop every Friday at 8PM

🔥 Full video episodes available exclusively at
https://HungerFF.com

Spotify subscribers also get early video access as soon as editing is finished.

Order now:
https://www.hungerff.com/deeper

💎 Limited edition hardcover covers (still available):
https://www.hungerff.com/shop/deeper-hardcover-editions

Ryan is wearing the “Fisting Jesus: Sacred Sleaze Edition” tee in this episode.

Grab it here:
https://hungerff.threadless.com/designs/fisting-jesus-sacred-sleaze-edition

Ryan James is also releasing new music every week through the HungerFF Sound Initiative.

Listen here:
https://www.hungerff.com/music

🎙️ Brolapse is a podcast exploring sex, identity, kink culture, and the people shaping the community from the inside out.

In this raw and deeply personal episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with one of his closest friends and former roommate, Josh Mikael, for a conversation that spans decades of history, hard truths, and unconditional love.

Josh shares his fisting origin story—one that began earlier than most—and reflects on it now with the clarity that only time and experience can bring. What starts as a wild, chaotic introduction quickly evolves into a broader conversation about consent, growth, and the reality that not every formative experience is meant to be repeated.

The two revisit the night they first met at a Leatherworks Red Hanky social in Fort Lauderdale, a moment that would lead to a lasting bond, a blown-out set of tires, and a friendship built through shared experiences, tension, and ultimately, understanding.

The heart of the episode centers on Deeper—Ryan’s memoir—and Josh’s decision to write the foreword. He explains why he felt it had to be him: someone who has loved Ryan, challenged him, called him out, and never wanted anything from him in return. The result is a foreword that doesn’t protect, doesn’t condemn, but instead tells the truth.

Together, they unpack addiction, the ripple effects it has on the people around you, and the complicated reality of loving someone who is struggling. They also dive into content culture, performer value, and why Josh drew a hard line when others didn’t—refusing to give away his image for free in an industry that often expects it.

This episode is funny, painful, reflective, and honest in a way that’s rare. It’s about friendship, accountability, survival—and the idea that telling your story might be the first step toward understanding it.

📖 Pre-order Deeper: http://www.hungerff.com/deeper
🔥 Signed & Numbered Hardcover Editions AVAILABLE NOW — EXCLUSIVELY on HungerFF.com
Only 30 copies per cover — expected to sell out fast

👕 Shop the shirt from this episode:
https://hungerff.threadless.com/designs/alpha-bottom-energy-power-pride-pleasure

🎧 LISTEN NOW (Spotify — Early Video Access):
https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa
🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse (Early video access for Spotify subscribers!)
🍏 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/408WLLX
📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse
📻 iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-hungerff-presents-brolapse-290151273

🕗 New episodes every Friday at 8 PM

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Ian Greene for a long-overdue conversation that spans years of crossing paths, shared experiences, and personal evolution.

Ian opens up about his fisting origin story — from early curiosity and pushing his limits, to training his body and discovering what he was truly capable of over time. What starts as a pursuit quickly becomes something deeper: a journey rooted in patience, self-awareness, and learning to listen instead of force.

The conversation expands into body confidence, growth, and the reality behind what people see online. Ian reflects on stepping away from the industry during COVID, reconnecting with family, and how that time away reshaped his perspective on health, boundaries, and longevity.

They also dive into collaboration, chemistry, and authenticity in content creation — why chasing numbers doesn’t compare to real connection, and how trusting your instincts can define your path both on and off camera.

This episode is about evolution — not just physically, but mentally and emotionally — and what it really means to grow into yourself.

🎧 Listen now: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

In Episode 74 of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with ⁠John Thomas⁠ for a conversation that goes far beyond the surface of porn.

John opens up about his fisting origin story, growing up with religion, guilt, and desire colliding early, and how kink evolved from curiosity into identity. From London sex clubs to navigating HIV, relationships, and self-acceptance, his journey is deeply personal—and unexpectedly relatable.

But this episode doesn’t stop at the origin story.

The two dive into the reality behind extreme content: the difference between performance and pleasure, why group dynamics can shift intimacy into spectacle, and how constant content creation is changing the industry itself. John speaks candidly about burnout, authenticity, and why making fewer—but more meaningful—scenes matters.

One of the most powerful moments comes when the conversation turns to responsibility. In a world where porn is often used as education, John reflects on the importance of context, honesty, and showing real pleasure instead of pain or performance.

This is a thoughtful, self-aware, and deeply human episode about identity, boundaries, influence, and what it actually means to live inside the body everyone is watching.

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Chicago-based creator Wyld Ryder for a candid conversation about confidence, kink, and the slow burn of becoming fully yourself.

Wyld opens up about his journey from a quiet corporate life to embracing his deviant side online, how fitness and self-acceptance became the gateway to content creation, and why piggish desire was always there—just waiting for permission to surface. Together, they unpack how fisting moved from fantasy to reality, why trust and intimacy matter so deeply in kink, and how submission can be an act of empowerment rather than erasure.

The conversation also explores authenticity in an oversaturated content landscape, navigating relationships while being publicly sexual, and the importance of genuine connection—both on camera and off. Wyld shares how his dynamic with Brogan helped shape his confidence as a creator, and why staying true to what actually turns you on is the key to longevity.

It’s an episode about growth, honesty, and choosing depth over performance—inside and out.