Knock Knock, Hi! with the Glaucomfleckens

• Knock Knock Eye: I Survived the U.S. Healthcare System. Barely.

  Five years ago this month, I died. I mean, not for long—but long enough. In this episode, I talk about it. The cardiac arrest. The four-year curse. The memory gaps. The part where Kristen saved my life on a mattress, then got told I was “end of life” and left in a hospital hallway with no cell service. I don’t usually get into this on the podcast, but it’s time. I also talk about what it’s like to return to clinic too soon, what empathy fatigue feels like when it hits you mid-exam, and why Australia’s healthcare system makes me want to scream and cry and hug a Medicare card. Oh, and yes, I checked—I did not get a single ophthalmology consult while hospitalized. Rude. Takeaways: I Gave the Saddest Talk in Australia—and They Thanked Me for It. Nothing like telling an entire country of surgeons: "Whatever the U.S. does, do the opposite." We’ve Got Trauma. We’ve Got Memory Loss. We’ve Got... Thai Food? My hippocampus was out to lunch, but at least I wasn’t. Shoutout to solo dinners in Sydney. Cardiac Arrest Might’ve Been the Easy Part. Kristen had to do chest compressions. Then fight a hospital. Then explain to our kids why Dad was suddenly gone. Empathy Fatigue is Real. And It’s Ugly. I went back to work too soon. And I knew it the moment I got irrationally annoyed by dry eye complaints. I Think My Wife Asked for Artificial Tears While I Was in the ICU. I can't prove this, but it feels on brand. I’ll confirm and get back to you. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠ for more information.  Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to ⁠⁠http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock⁠⁠. Produced by⁠⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  43:22
• Glauc Talk: What the Cardiac Arrest Anniversary Feels Like—For Both of Us

  Five years ago, my heart stopped. And this week’s episode is about what it’s been like to live with that anniversary hanging in the air. Kristin and I talk through how the week felt, what’s changed in the five year, and what hasn’t. We talk about the weird guilt of surviving, the unexpected joy of ordinary days, and how “the trauma anniversary” messes with your brain in ways even a cardiologist can’t predict. No characters this week. No insurance rants. Just two people who went through something massive—and are still figuring out what to do with it. Lt Gregg shoe and Blog post https://glaucomflecken.com/lockdown-love-and-life-saving-cpr-a-mothers-day-to-remember/ Takeaways: The day feels weird—not sad, not happy, just… off. Kristin shares what it’s like to carry the memory of doing CPR on your spouse. Will opens up about the strange weight of surviving something you don’t remember. No code blue this time—but lots of reflection and some unexpected laughs. It’s not about closure. It’s about honoring the mess. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠ for more information.  Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to ⁠⁠http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock⁠⁠. Produced by⁠⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  58:06
• Knock Knock Eye: Stop Putting That in Your Eye, Please

  I started this week by crying with the internet and ended it by confiscating eye drops from unsuspecting patients, which is honestly peak ophthalmologist behavior. In this episode, I walk through a mystery case that showed up in my clinic (spoiler: droopy eyelids are rarely simple), explain why “clear eyes” doesn’t actually mean clear eyes, and rant about fake homeopathic drops pretending to treat pink eye. I also reflect on what it’s like to head to Australia and tell a room full of surgeons why they absolutely should not copy our U.S. healthcare system. Oh—and there's a guy with a literal flashlight eye prosthesis, and I think I’m in love. Takeaways: Your Redness Relief Eye Drops Are Lying to You. If I took your bottle of Visine away, it’s because I like you—and I want you to stop putting menthol-laced lies directly onto your corneas. Droopy Eyelid? Might Be Nothing. Might Be Neurology. One eyelid. One confusing pupil. Zero time to guess wrong. This one kept me thinking longer than it should’ve. Homeopathic Eye Drops: Tap Water with a Fancy Label. Just because it sounds gentle doesn’t mean it works. And yes, I have an actual drawer of confiscated drops at work. I’m Telling the Australians Everything. They asked me to talk about U.S. healthcare. I packed my "No UnitedHealthcare" scrub cap. Pray for them. The Flashlight Eye Prosthesis Changed My Life. This guy engineered a Terminator-style prosthetic that literally lights up—and somehow, that was not even the weirdest part of my week. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠ for more information.  Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to ⁠http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock⁠. Produced by⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  47:18
• Glauc Talk: Which Of My Characters Should Join OnlyFans?

  This episode started with a haircut and somehow ended with me reenacting testicular anatomy, suggesting Jonathan join OnlyFans, and possibly getting sued by a health insurance company. So... par for the course. Kristin and I cover everything from haircut inflation and pink taxes to our high school pranks involving fake blindness (yes, I know). We also dive into a wild, and honestly kind of satisfying, $421 million verdict against Blue Cross for approving breast cancer surgeries and then refusing to pay for them. And yes, of course, they paid for their executive wives' treatments. Of course they did. Also—Testicular Cancer Awareness Month just wrapped, so I walk you through the anatomy, physiology, and life consequences of losing both testicles. It’s personal, it’s weirdly educational, and no, the “middle piece” of sperm still doesn’t have a clear job description. Oh, and we may or may not have created a new character: the Emotional Support Drape™. Takeaways: I got charged over $100 for a haircut I could’ve done myself—Kristin was not surprised. We explore which of my characters would do best on OnlyFans (and we learned too much about Ortho Bro). A jury awarded $421 million to a cancer center Blue Cross ghosted—yes, we cheered. I got testicular cancer twice and somehow it’s still the least weird part of this episode. Medical licensing books don’t prepare you for marriage, cancer, or testosterone loss. Ask us how we know. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠ for more information.  Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to ⁠http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock⁠. Produced by⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  48:45
• Knock Knock Eye: Waiting 45 Minutes for a 7-Minute Visit? Here’s Why

  Ever had to wait 45 minutes in the lobby just to wait another 30 in the exam room while imagining your doctor is in the back watching YouTube? In this episode, I break down what’s really going on behind the scenes of a chaotic clinic day—and no, it’s not lunch. Plus, a very satisfying rant about healthcare corporatization, a strangely relaxing moment involving blood in the eye (someone else’s, not mine), and an update on Arkansas doing something good (I know, I’m surprised too). I also ask an important question: is it fair to say sneezing too hard might ruin your vision? Yes. Yes, it is. Takeaways: If I Could Wire My Brain to Every Patient’s Brain, I Would. But since that tech doesn’t exist, here’s a 45-minute explainer on why your wait time is not me scrolling TikTok in a break room. Private Equity, Insurance Companies, and the Slow Death of My Schedule. Who’s really making your doctor run behind? Spoiler: it’s not your doctor. Arkansas Just Did Something Cool? I’m Shook. Finally, some legislation that takes aim at PBMs. Can we get 49 more of these, please? Sneezing Shouldn’t Break Your Eye… But It Might. A 24-year-old. A sudden cloud in his vision. And the diagnosis I didn’t expect to make until he mentioned allergy season. Yes, There Was Blood. But Only a Thimbleful. Ophthalmology is rarely a bloody field. But when it is, it gets… weirdly poetic. — To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can’t get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14 Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠ for more information.  Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠. To learn more about Pearson Ravitz go to http://www.pearsonravitz.com/knockknock. Produced by⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  46:53

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