Office Hours with Arthur Brooks

Most people don't start with huge lies. They start with little white lies meant to avoid conflict, spare someone's feelings, or make life a little easier. But what if those small compromises are quietly making us less happy?
In this episode of Office Hours, I make the case that honesty is one of the deepest expressions of love. I explore why we're afraid to say what we really think, why even well-intentioned lies can undermine trust and happiness, and how practicing radical honesty—with compassion—can strengthen our relationships and help us live more authentically. I also share three practical ways to become more honest without becoming hurtful.
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Brought to you by:
• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks
• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur
—
Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(05:00) Why we don’t share what we think
(10:06) Honesty as an act of love 
(12:01) Transcendentalism and radical honesty
(18:11) The types of lies and how often we lie 
(24:27) Why lying undermines happiness
(33:25) Seek and accept honesty from others
(36:03) Offer truth to heal, not harm 
(40:11) Make the truth appealing 
(42:48) Q&A: Making the most of summer 
(44:56) Q&A: The hardest part of my protocols 
(46:34) Q&A: The pros and cons of napping 
—
Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com
• Poll: 62% of Americans Say They Have Political Views They’re Afraid to Share: https://www.cato.org/survey-reports/poll-62-americans-say-they-have-political-views-theyre-afraid-share
• The “Spiral of Silence” Revisited: A Meta-Analysis on the Relationship Between Perceptions of Opinion Support and Political Opinion Expression: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/009365021774542
• Self-Reliance: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0500024472
• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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There's a reason music has mattered to people for thousands of years. Across cultures and generations, we’ve treated it as more than entertainment—as a kind of language that can express what words can’t and help us connect with the meaning and mystery on the right side of our brain.
In this episode of Office Hours, I explore why that idea has endured and what modern science has to say about it. I also share two simple ways to amplify music’s positive effects, plus four practical strategies for building a music practice that fits your goals—so you can get more out of the music you already love.
And if you want to dive deeper into the music I love and listen to, go to: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/playlist
—
Brought to you by:
• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur
• Magic Mind—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com
—
Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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—
Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(05:40) Schopenhauer’s theory
(09:38) Why I believe music reveals deeper truths
(13:20) The science of music and the brain
(19:41) The emotional impact of music 
(23:32) Which type of music is linked with happiness
(25:28) The worst kind of music for happiness 
(26:54) The benefits of listening to sad music
(29:35) Two ways to amplify music’s positive effects
(30:50) #1: Decide what you want from your music
(31:55) #2: Create a catalog of songs
(33:15) #3: Learn and grow 
(36:04) #4: Play music yourself
(39:22) Q&A: Learning about classical music 
(40:24) Q&A: Listening to music while working out 
(42:06) Q&A: Friendship on the autism spectrum
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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com
• Schopenhauer on music as the embodiment of Will: https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/schopenhauer-philosophy-and-the-arts/schopenhauer-on-music-as-the-embodiment-of-will/19892B6A1001BACD7093CFBA2D59BF38
• Three Philosophies of Life: Ecclesiastes, Job, and Song of Songs, Peter Kreeft: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0898702623
• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
—
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Thirty-five years ago, I somehow convinced an extraordinary woman to marry me. Our relationship began like any other—attraction, a leap of faith, and eventually the decision to embark on the unknown journey ahead of us together. 
In this episode of Office Hours, my wife, Ester Munt-Brooks, and I reflect on what we’ve learned over 35 years of choosing each other—from the risks we took early on, to why love is much more than a feeling. Drawing on the wisdom of Thomas Aquinas, we explore what it truly means to love—and how that understanding can transform every relationship.
—
Brought to you by:
• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks
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Where to find Ester Munt-Brooks: 
• Website: https://www.fevaloryalegria.org/ 
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/estermunt 
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/FAITHWITHJOYTALKS/

Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(08:55) Arthur and Ester’s love story
(14:02) The risks they took to give it a shot 
(19:30) How Ester came to embrace marriage 
(24:36) The next stage: Marriage and children
(28:05) St. Thomas Aquinas’s definition of love 
(45:20) What’s coming up in future episodes on love
(46:04) The three big love lessons 
(49:26) Q&A: Personalizing a morning routine for your needs 
(55:06) Q&A: How to think about faith while dating
(57:54) Q&A: How having children impacts happiness 
(1:02:30) Q&A: How to meet people in person
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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-of-your-life 
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• The Meaning of Your Life Retreats: https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com
• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
—
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Do you find yourself chasing success, working long hours, doing far more than is required, and thinking about work all the time? Congratulations—you might be a workaholic. (There’s no trophy for this, by the way. I checked.)
In this episode of Office Hours, I dig into what workaholism is, where it comes from, and why it can be so damaging to your happiness and relationships. We discuss the connection between work addiction and the belief that love has to be earned (which turns out to be a surprisingly ineffective strategy). There’s good news: I also share three practical steps you can take to break the cycle, become more present for your loved ones, and find the deeper sources of happiness, meaning, and connection that no promotion will ever give you.
—
Brought to you by:
• Noble Mobile—With Noble, there is only one plan: The No-Bull Plan. It’s simple. It’s transparent. And if you use less data, you get cash back. Get an exclusive offer at: https://noblemobile.com/arthurbrooks
• Magic Mind—Magic Mind is a mental performance shot with vitamins and clinically-backed ingredients like Ashwagandha and Lion’s Mane for a sharper mind and sustained energy. Get 50% off your first order at magicmind.com
—
Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
• Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• Newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
• X: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/arthurbrooks⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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—
Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(05:58) Why workaholism is so destructive
(09:31) Work culture in Spain vs. the U.S.
(11:11) The three classic signs of workaholism
(12:26) Why people become workaholics
(13:42) Four more signs of work addiction
(15:01) Intrinsic rewards vs. extrinsic rewards
(24:59) A thought experiment about intrinsic and extrinsic rewards
(27:52) Where workaholism comes from
(33:04) How to break your work addiction—Step 1: Face the truth
(34:39) Step 2: Give what you most want to receive
(36:02) Step 3: Make plans to change
(38:12) Summary of the three steps
(39:20) Q&A: The grief of divorce vs. death
(40:35) Q&A: Coping with betrayal

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Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: http://themeaningofyourlife.com
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• Workaholism: definition, measurement, and preliminary results: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16370875
• Workload, Workaholism, and Job Performance: Uncovering Their Complex Relationship: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7557789
• PANAS quiz: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/quiz/panas
• 3 Steps to Managing Your Emotions: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/podcast/3-steps-to-managing-your-emotions

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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If you feel emotionally exhausted, cynical about your work, or like you’re no longer enjoying parts of the job you used to, you may be experiencing burnout.
In this episode of Office Hours, I explain what burnout is, how psychologists define it, and what the research shows about its effects on the brain and body. We discuss the workplace conditions most likely to cause burnout, why some occupations experience it more than others, and the self-reinforcing cycle that makes even meaningful work feel draining.
I also share five things employers can do to protect their employees from burnout and three practical ways individuals can create healthier boundaries between work and life so that each supports, rather than undermines, the other.
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• LMNT—A science-backed electrolyte drink mix that helps you feel and perform your best, without sugar, artificial ingredients, or gimmicks. Get a free sample pack at DrinkLMNT.com/Arthur. 
• Helix Sleep—A mattress designed for every body. Go to helixsleep.com/brooks for 20% off sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses for their Fourth of July Sale.
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Where to find Arthur Brooks: 
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• In-person Retreats: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://retreats.arthurbrooks.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠
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—
Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(04:45) The origins of burnout
(06:44) Herbert Freudenberger’s definition of burnout
(07:25) What the research shows about burnout today
(10:59) The three signs of burnout and Arthur’s experience
(16:40) The physiology of burnout
(20:14) The 7 causes of burnout
(30:29) The occupations with the most burnout
(35:10) Five things employers can do to safeguard against burnout
(38:10) #1 way to fight burnout: Create space
(40:54) #2 way to fight burnout: Work only in defined hours
(42:23) #3 way to fight burnout: Work on your spiritual/philosophical life
(44:15) Why remote work is not the answer to burnout
(45:35) Recap: 3 ways to fight burnout
(47:58) Q&A: Coping with being a full-time caregiver
(50:01) Q&A: Adapting protocols to your life
—
Referenced:
• The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness: themeaningofyourlife.com
• Meaning Membership: https://hub.arthurbrooks.com/the-meaning-membership 
• Arthur’s newsletter: https://www.arthurbrooks.com/newsletter 
• The Happiness Scale: https://learn.arthurbrooks.com/the-happiness-scale 
• The Pursuit of Happiness with Arthur Brooks: https://www.thefp.com/s/the-pursuit-of-happiness-with-arthur
• The Brothers Karamazov: https://www.amazon.com/Brothers-Karamazov-Fyodor-Dostoevsky/dp/0374528373
• Poor mental health costs UK employers £51 billion a year for employees: https://www.deloitte.com/uk/en/about/press-room/poor-mental-health-costs-uk-employers-51-billion-a-year-for-employees.html
• Beyond Burnout: https://hbsp.harvard.edu/product/H0669W-PDF-ENG
• Burnout Test: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/burnout-at-work

• ...References continued at: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.arthurbrooks.com/office-hours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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