Untangle

What if the goal isn’t to get rid of our difficult feelings, but to change our relationship with them?
Our guest today is Daniel Smith, Psychotherapist and best selling author. Today we discuss his most recent book Hard Feelings. Finding the Wisdom in our Darkest Emotions to explore why emotions like anxiety, anger, envy, shame, and despair are such a challenging—but essential—part of being human.
Daniel shares how his own lifelong struggle with anxiety, major life upheavals, and how his work as a Psychotherapist shaped his understanding of our emotional lives. We talk about why labeling feelings as “negative” can make them harder to navigate, how we can get caught in the trap of feeling bad about feeling bad, and what it means to treat our emotions as signals rather than enemies.
We also explore the Buddhist idea of the second arrow, the importance of curiosity and self-compassion, and why cultivating wholeness may be more meaningful than striving for constant happiness.
If you’ve ever judged yourself for feeling jealous, lost your patience with someone you love, or wished you could simply switch off an uncomfortable emotion, this conversation offers a gentler way forward: pause, get curious, and remember that having a hard feeling is part of being human.
Resource: Smithmhc.com
NEW: I want to tell you about my new book, The Questions that make a Life. It includes quotes, prompts and reflections gathered from the last 10 years of untangle interviews. It’s Part book, part journal, One “testimonial calls it A wise, warm, and deeply human companion for anyone navigating the messiness of life. It’s available on amazon or there’s a link to a faster way to order on bookbaby.com. https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-questions-that-make-a-life
A special thanks to our amazing sponsors: Quince, Stio, Born Shoes.
MORE on this episode:
In this episode, we explore:
Why Daniel wrote Hard Feelings and how his experiences with anxiety and major life changes shaped the book.
How family dynamics and the emotional atmosphere of childhood may influence our own emotional lives.
Why trying to eliminate difficult emotions can sometimes make them more powerful.
The Buddhist concept of the second arrow—and how feeling ashamed of our feelings adds another layer of suffering.
What envy can reveal about comparison, insecurity, and losing touch with what matters to us.
How to acknowledge emotions without judging ourselves for having them.
When acceptance is enough and when persistent emotions may call for deeper reflection or professional support.
Why curiosity is such an important tool in relationships, especially when anger or frustration takes over.
How to repair after emotional reactions rather than expecting ourselves to be perfect.
The difference between pursuing happiness and cultivating a sense of wholeness.
Why patience, mindfulness, and slowing down can help us stay present with uncomfortable experiences.

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In today’s encore conversation, John Sullivan, Clinical Sports Psychologist, discusses "The Brain Always Wins 2," his new book co-authored with communications expert Chris Parker. John has worked with several professional sports teams and is now head of sport psychology at high performance sport New Zealand. This new edition addresses seven pivotal areas of brain management which include Physical activity, Rest and recovery, Optimum nutrition, Cognitive function, Emotional management, Socialization and communication, and Synergy.
John discusses the intricate relationship between each of these areas in enhancing performance in any area of our lives. He emphasizes the importance of personalized nutrition, the role of carbohydrates in brain health, and the necessity of effective communication and social interactions for overall well-being. Sullivan also highlights the significance of emotional management techniques, such as breathing exercises, in optimizing cognitive function and performance. There’s a lot of great information here.
NEW: Order The Questions the Make a Life (no perfect answers) by host, Patricia Karpas. It's a distillation of the best quotes, prompts and reflections from the Untangle Podcast. Order on Amazon OR for faster delivery, https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-questions-that-make-a-life.
As always, we’re Untangle, the podcast from Muse, the brain sensing headband dedicated to unlocking your brains potential. Use code Untangle 15 at choosemuse.com for your 15% discount

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Today's meditation is by Melli O'Brien and was created to inspire you to connect with what matters most. It can also be found on the Muse and Meditation Studio apps.

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Today’s guest is Dr. Emily Rogalski, the Rosalind Franklin Professor of Neurology and the Director of the Healthy Aging & Alzheimer’s Care (HAARC) Center, both at the University of Chicago. She is a clinical and cognitive neuroscientist researching aging, Alzheimer’s, and related dementias.
Here’s the question we explore today:
Why do some people maintain extraordinary memory well into their 80s and 90s, while others experience cognitive decline much earlier?
Why do some resist dementia and others not so much?
Dr. Emily Rogalski studies Superagers, adults in their 80s and beyond who have memory abilities comparable to people decades younger. She and her colleagues are studying them to understand what makes their brains so remarkable.
What can these exceptional agers teach us about our own brain health? How much comes down to genetics, how much might be influenced by lifestyle, and what can we do today to give ourselves the best chance of aging well?
This discussion is rich with fascinating science and lot’s of practical information you can use.
She describes the difference between normal forgetfulness and dementia, new developments in Alzheimer's biomarkers, and the surprising clues researchers are finding in everything from brain structure to social connection to lifelong learning.
And while there isn't a magic formula for keeping our brains young, this conversation offers a hopeful new perspective on what it means to age well.
NEXT...
Check out the new book gleaned from Untangle. The Questions that make a Life, by Patricia Karpas. It includes quotes, prompts and reflections gathered from the last 10 years of Untangle interviews. It’s part book, part journal, One testimonial calls it "A wise, warm, and deeply human companion for anyone navigating the messiness of life." It’s available on amazon or here's a link to a faster way to order:
https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-questions-that-make-a-life
For more on Dr. Emily Rogalski, go to https://neurology.uchicago.edu/faculty/emily-joy-rogalski-miller
Check out Muse, the brain sensing headband at choosemuse.com/untangle. Use code Untangle15 for your discount.
Thanks to our wonderful sponsors: Quince. Born Shoes. Stio. Warby Parker. Scribe. Berkeley life.

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Encoring one of my personal favorite meditations.
Welcome to a special weekly edition of Untangle, Meditation Monday. We’re taking this time to share meditations from our sister app, Meditation Studio. We know that life gets messy and, when it does, Meditation is here to help us find a sense of calm and inner peace. Whether you’re facing daily work or relationships stress, unexpected challenges, or just want to improve focus, we hope meditation Mondays will be your go to for a weekly guided meditation treat. And if you’re craving more…which I always do…the Meditation Studio app offers over 800 expert-guided meditations from over 70 of the world’s top meditation experts.
And best of all, you can now unlock 30 days of Meditation Studio for free at choosemuse.com/meditationstudio

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