EP 143: Stop Mothering Me! Understanding Your Teen’s Push for Independence
Half-term chaos, slammed doors, sharp words—if that sounds familiar, you are not alone. In this episode, Dr Olivia Kessel sits down with teen expert Kim McCabe to unpack why your once-snuggly child suddenly bristles at “How was your day?” and how to respond without losing your cool or your connection. From the teenage brain’s rebuild to the unique load neurodiverse teens carry, we explore what is really happening under the surface—and the simple shifts that can change everything at home.Kim explains why after-school meltdowns often land on parents, how masking drains emotional capacity, and what co-regulation looks like in real life. Together, we cover how to use short validating phrases instead of lectures, hold boundaries that reflect your core values, and create safe outlets for big feelings that do not harm anyone. You will hear why permissiveness can feel like indifference to teens, how to choose a few non-negotiables, and when to step back so your young person can save face and recover their balance.We also share low-pressure ways to rebuild closeness: monthly parent–teen “dates,” visiting their world first—whether that is gaming, football, memes, or TikTok—without judgment, and narrating your own self-regulation to model coping. Whether you are parenting girls or boys, mums or dads, neurotypical or neurodiverse, the principles hold true: be the parent, team up with other adults, and protect your own capacity. Calm and loving is your superpower—but it needs fuel.If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a parent who needs a boost, and leave a quick review so more families can find these tools. And if you are ready for deeper support, check the show notes for details on the Recharge and Connect SEND Summit—join us in person or via live stream.💬 Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeIf today’s conversation with Kim McCabe resonated with you, you can find out more about her work at Rites for Girls, where she supports parents and teens through the transitions of adolescence. Explore her brilliant book, From Daughter to Woman: Parenting Girls Safely Through Their Teens, and discover her Weekend Retreat for Mothers of Daughters — a beautiful space to reconnect, reflect, and parent with greater awareness and ease.💬 Connect with Us Join our SEND Parenting Private WhatsApp Community — a safe space to share, learn, and feel supported by parents who truly understand. And if you are ready to go deeper, join our ADHD Warrior Mum’s Recharge Station — your space for group coaching, access to experts, support, connection, and calm.
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