TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Today, we’re diving into a complex and nuanced topic—raising daughters in today’s world. Joining me for this conversation is Cathy Adams, a longtime friend of the pod, powerhouse in the parenting space, and champion of mindful, connected parenting. Her latest book, which takes center stage in today’s discussion, is Restoring Our Girls: How Real Conversations Shape Our Daughters' Lives, Help Them with Teen Challenges, and Remind Them That They Matter. With her background as a clinical social worker, certified parent coach, and former child and family therapist—as well as her experience as a mom of three daughters and university professor—Cathy brings a rich, multifaceted perspective to this important topic. In this episode, Cathy and I explore the unique challenges girls face today, from societal pressures and cultural conditioning to navigating a fast-paced, often judgmental world. We discuss the importance of parents addressing their own emotional baggage, being mindful of their reactions, and recognizing how fear can hold us back from having the messy but meaningful conversations our daughters need. Cathy also shares strategies for creating judgment-free spaces where girls feel heard, validated, and supported in becoming their authentic selves.   About Cathy Adams Cathy Cassani Adams, LCSW, co-hosts the long-running Zen Parenting Radio podcast and founded the Zen Parenting Conference in Chicago. She is the author of Zen Parenting and Living What You Want Your Kids to Learn (both Nautilus Award and International Book Award winners) and her upcoming 2025 release, Restoring Our Girls. Cathy is a clinical social worker, certified parent coach, former elementary school educator, and yoga teacher. She was a blogger for The Huffington Post and a former columnist for Chicago Parent Magazine. She previously worked as a Child and Family Therapist and Clinical Educator at Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago and now teaches in the Sociology and Criminology Department at Dominican University. She lives outside Chicago with her husband, Todd, and their three daughters.   Things you'll learn How cultural conditioning and societal expectations on girls can impact them (and what we need to know about it) Why parents must address their own emotional baggage to avoid projecting it onto their children How being mindful of our own reactions in the moment will help us communicate more effectively with our children The role fear plays in preventing meaningful conversations which leads to missed connection opportunities The benefits of engaging in messy and imperfect conversations for promoting authenticity How to create a judgment-free space where girls feel heard and validated to support their emotional growth   Resources Zen Parenting website and resources Restoring Our Girls: How Real Conversations Shape Our Daughters' Lives, Help Them with Teen Challenges, and Remind Them That They Matter by Cathy Adams Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World by Cathy Adams Zen Parenting 2025 Summit Zen Parenting on Instagram Cathy Adams on Zen Parenting & Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World (Tilt Parenting podcast) Zen Parenting on Facebook Zen Parenting Radio podcast Getting Aligned Through Parenting and Marriage Challenges, with Zen Parenting’s Cathy and Todd Adams (Tilt Parenting podcast) Pop Culturing Podcast Rescuing Our Sons: 8 Solutions to Our Crisis of Disaffected Teen Boys by Dr. John Duffy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creativity coach, speaker, and author Kathryn Haydon talks about the benefits of bringing more creativity into our parenting lives raising differently wired kids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year, and welcome to the podcast's winter season! I have some really special conversations to share with you this year, and I’m thrilled to kick things off with what I can only describe as an absolutely fascinating conversation with Dr. Amy Laurent about ENERGY—specifically, the power and freedom in shifting the focus from emotional regulation to energy regulation when supporting neurodivergent individuals, including ourselves. You might remember Amy from her last appearance on the show with Dr. Jacquelyn Fede, where they shared about their autistic-allistic partnership Autism Level UP!—a collaboration dedicated to providing education, accessible resources, and practical strategies to increase active engagement for autistic individuals and their communities. If you haven’t heard that one yet, it’s a great listen! You can find it at tiltparenting.com/session328 or through the link in the show notes for this episode. In this conversation, we dive into Amy and Jacquelyn’s latest resource, Energy: The Framework, Tools, Strategies & Logic to Support Regulation manual, a comprehensive guide to the Autism Level UP! tools and their innovative approach to energy regulation. Designed with autistic and neurodivergent people in mind—but perfectly suitable for all neurotypes—this manual introduces ways to understand and support energy levels for yourself or others through tools, worksheets, and practical strategies. I LOVE this resource, so it was a real treat to explore its concepts with Amy. In our chat, Amy shares why energy regulation is often a more accessible and relatable framework than emotional regulation for many autistic people, how the “Energy Meter” helps individuals identify their energy states and foster self-awareness, and how parents can better co-regulate and connect without judgment by recognizing and reflecting on energy states. We talk a lot on the show about becoming fluent in your child, and what we’re covering today takes that concept to an entirely new level.   About Dr. Amy Laurent Amy Laurent, PhD, OTR/L is the co-director of Autism Level UP! an autistic / allistic partnership dedicated to the provision of education, accessible resources, and practical strategies focused on increasing active engagement for autistic individuals and the members of their communities. She is a co-author of the SCERTS Model and frequently lectures internationally. She is passionate about neurodiversity and helping others to honor and understand the implications of “different ways of being” in relation to navigating the physical and social world. Dr. Laurent strives to practice what she preaches and uses her love of play and movement to meet her own regulatory needs.   Things you'll learn from this episode Why energy regulation is a more accessible and relatable framework than emotional regulation for many autistic people How the “Energy Meter” helps individuals in identifying their energy levels and needs fostering self-awareness and practical strategies for balance. How parents can better co-regulate, connect, and support (without judgment) through recognizing and reflecting on energy states Why it’s critical that we tailor tools to meet unique needs of our children (ie: there is no one size fits all)   Resources mentioned Energy: The Framework, Tools, Strategies & Logic to Support Regulation by Dr. Amy Laurent and Jac Fede Autism Level UP! Autism Level UP! on Facebook Autism Level UP! on Instagram Autism Level UP! Co-founders Amy Laurent & Jacquelyn Fede on Learning From Autistic Self-Advocates (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Stuart Shanker, author of Self-Reg, shares his expertise on self-regulation, offering practical strategies and compassionate insights to help neurodivergent kids and their families manage stress and build self-awareness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices