The Pulse

We often think of perfectionism as a virtue; a kind of shorthand for high standards, a solid work ethic, and attention to detail.
But in reality, perfectionism can be a paralyzing force — like sand wedged in the gears of our minds. It slows us down, makes us question our choices, and traps us in an endless cycle of tweaking and re-tweaking, unable to move on to the next task. It can even have consequences for our health, as we push ourselves beyond our limits, in pursuit of impossible standards. And it’s on the rise, especially among teens and young adults.
On this episode, we explore what causes perfectionism, how we can escape its grip, and why letting go of unrealistic expectations doesn’t have to mean abandoning excellence. We hear from recovering perfectionists about what finally forced them to let go of their impossible  standards, and how their lives have changed since. We talk with a longtime perfectionism researcher about what’s at the root of perfectionism, and some of its more dire consequences. And we learn about a new movement that’s pushing high school kids to invest less in their academic achievements — and more in how they matter to others.

For most of her life, Gitanjali Trevorrow-Seymour was a perfectionist — and as an adult, her exacting standards seemed to have paid off, in the form of a successful career, beautiful home, and loving family. But a few years ago, she reached a turning point that prompted her to question her pursuit of perfection — and the toll it was taking on her life and health. We talk with Trevorrow-Seymour about what finally caused her to change, and what it’s like living on the other side of perfectionism.

It’s something we all hear as kids: “Practice makes perfect.” But for budding cellist Joshua Roman, it was more than just a saying — it was the only way to become the best. His relentless work ethic  paid off when, at the tender age of 22, Roman became the youngest lead cellist in the Seattle Symphony Orchestra’s history. But everything changed for Roman several years ago, when he contracted a debilitating case of long COVID, and found himself struggling to function. Pulse producer Nichole Currie talks with Roman about how his newfound limitations have changed his life and forced him to face his perfectionism.

Researcher Gordon Flett breaks down the dark side of perfectionism — from burnout to health effects — explaining where it comes from, why it’s on the rise in young people, and how to deal with it. Flett is a professor emeritus of psychology at York University in Toronto, and the author of several books on perfectionism.

For a lot of high school kids, college admissions are a major driver of stress — not to mention depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Pulse reporter Alan Yu talks with perfectionism researchers about the dangers of America’s “achievement culture,” along with journalist Jennifer Wallace about a potential solution — the Mattering Movement.

From Kevlar to windshield wipers, pulsars to dark matter and radioactivity, women are responsible for countless scientific discoveries and inventions that changed the world — and yet, many of them remain overlooked, forgotten, or ignored.
On this episode, we shine a light on some of these women and hear about the detective work required to unearth their lives and legacies; chasing clues, rifling through dusty boxes, and hitting plenty of dead ends. 
We rediscover the life and work of Katharine Burr Blodgett, a physicist and chemist whose seminal inventions are still in use today. We hear about what it was like being one of the few female engineers working at NASA in the 1970s, and we talk with quantum physicist Shohini Ghose about some of the brilliant women who helped us decode the mysteries of the universe.

SHOW NOTES:

Journalist Katie Hafner was on a mission — to uncover the details of physicist and chemist Katharine Burr Blodgett's work and life. But so much of Blodgett's correspondence and laboratory notes were missing — it felt like doing a puzzle with so many missing pieces. We listen to an excerpt from “Layers of Brilliance” a documentary podcast from Lost Women of Science about the life of Katharine Burr Blodgett. 

From the time she was a kid, Candy Vallado had a singular ambition: to work in aerospace. But when she graduated college in 1968, she quickly discovered that no one wanted to hire a “woman engineer.”  We talk with Vallado about what led her to joining her first NASA mission, some of the sexism she faced, and how she feels, looking back, about the progress of women in STEM.

We talk with quantum physicist Shohini Ghose about some of the brilliant, forgotten women who helped us decode the mysteries of the universe. Ghose’s book is “Her Space, Her Time: How Trailblazing Women Scientists Decoded the Hidden Universe."

Over 60 million Americans — or one in four adults — currently serve as family caregivers for partners, parents, or other loved ones with illness or disability. But despite how common this experience is, it can often feel extremely isolating for the caregiver. In between daily tasks like wound care, medications, and bathing, or navigating health care and insurance — many caregivers find themselves grappling with burnout, loneliness, and bigger questions of love, death, and obligation.
On this episode, we explore the experience of caregiving, from how illness affects relationships, to the emotional fallout of changing roles, to some of the messy, unspoken frustrations caregivers face. Sociologist Laura Mauldin shares her experience of going from whirlwind romance to caring for a dying partner when she was in her late twenties. We explore the challenges of discussing death at the end of a long illness with a partner. And we talk with a pair of psychologists about the challenges of caring for elderly — and strong-willed — parents.

Sociologist Laura Mauldin was in grad school when she fell head over heels in love. A few months into the relationship, her girlfriend’s cancer returned, and Mauldin became her primary caregiver. She writes about her own experience, and that of many other caregivers, in her new book "In Sickness and in Health: Love Stories From the Front Lines of America's Caregiving Crisis."

Married psychologists Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer discuss their experiences caring for Jacobs’ elderly parents, from navigating role reversals, to better ways of supporting caregivers. Jacobs and Mayer are the authors of  “AARP Meditations for Caregivers: Practical, Emotional, and Spiritual Support for You and Your Family.”

The signs are all there — the perfectly packed gym bag is collecting dust in your closet, the kitchen pantry has quietly been refilled with junk food, and your early morning alarms are losing their battle with the snooze button. The goals you set at the beginning of the year seem more and more unattainable. It may feel like you don’t have enough determination — enough resolve — but productivity expert Chris Bailey says there are ways to align our goals with our values and get better results. On this podcast extra, Bailey talks about his new book, “Intentional: How to Finish What You Start.”

When Alexander Graham Bell made the first-ever phone call on March 10, 1876, he never could have dreamed how the telephone would evolve — not to mention the many ways it would end up changing the way we live, work, and communicate.
This week, on the 150th anniversary of that first call, we take a look back at the history of the phone, and how it transformed America. We hear about the dramatic race to invent the telephone — and why some people questions whether Alexander Graham Bell deserves all of the credit learn about early cultural debates over everything from how phones should be used, to the etiquette of picking up calls; and explore recent trends in usage, from a growing movement to buy kids landlines, to telephobia — a fear of making calls.

It’s a well-known story, one often lifted up as a shining example of American ingenuity — the invention of the telephone by the appropriately named Alexander Graham Bell. But there’s a more dramatic version of the phone’s origin story — one involving a fierce dispute over who really deserves credit for its invention. Pulse reporter Liz Tung digs into the 150-year-old controversy, filled with accusations of fraud, government corruption, and a fierce legal showdown that ended at the Supreme Court. 

Phones have changed a lot over the past few decades — and so have the etiquette and culture surrounding how we use them. We survey friends and coworkers about their memories of what it was like when the landline was king, and talk with sociologist Claude Fischer about changing beliefs and cultural norms surrounding the phone, from its changing purpose, to debate over how to answer calls. Fischer is the author of “America Calling: A Social History of the Telephone to 1940.”

These days, landlines are largely a thing of the past. But recently, they’ve started making a comeback — specifically among kids. Pulse reporter Alan Yu finds out why some parents are embracing this older technology, and some of the unexpected ways their children are deploying it.

Back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, spending hours on the phone was considered an essential part of being a teenager — but today, for a lot of Gen Z, making and taking calls has become a terrifying prospect. Reporter Grant Hill looks into what’s behind the rise of “telephobia.”