Raised Resilient: Help Your Highly Sensitive Child

Does your child go from angry at breakfast to yelling "I hate you" by dinner?

In today's episode, I unpack why your child seems angry all the time and what's REALLY going on underneath. We get into where does people pleasing come from, which is an important starting point since so many of us grew up conflict avoidant, sitting on suppressed anger.

You'll learn:
What causes people pleasing, and how it shapes the way you react to anger
How a "good girl" childhood can lead to a conflict avoidant personality as an adult
Why a five-year-old's anger comes out in such messy ways (and yours did, too)
How your own repressed anger can show up when your child starts yelling
Why anger is a secondary emotion, and what it might be protecting your sensitive kid from
Why mom rage can flare the second your child gets angry at you
What is emotional safety, and what does it look like on a hard day?
What softening really means when your child is kicking and calling you names
How to create emotional safety when you're too angry to soften
Why it can feel like gentle parenting doesn't work, even with the right script
If your child seems angry ALL the time and you've started to wonder if this is just who they are, this episode is for you.

Here's to raising resilient kids,
Dr. Hilary

Find more from Dr. Hilary:
Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group
Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website

Have you ever caught yourself Googling "am I raising a narcissist" at 2am after another rough day? Does your child hit their sister, call you names, and show zero remorse? Do they melt down every time you say no, or shut down the second you ask them to own what happened?

In this episode, I share why sensitive, emotionally intense kids can look narcissistic.

You'll learn:
Why your sensitive kid can show a lack of empathy when someone else is hurting
Why your child's still-developing emotional regulation can get mistaken for narcissism
What narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, according to the DSM-5
What your child's age has to do with the question of raising a narcissist
How narcissism really develops, and what's hiding underneath all that grandiosity
Why your sensitive kid feels SO much shame, no matter what you do
What is emotional safety, and how it changes the way your child handles shame
What does emotional safety look like when your child has just hit their sibling
How to create emotional safety after you've lost your cool with your kid
What's really behind extreme defensiveness when you ask your child to take accountability

If you’ve ever worried about what your child’s behavior means for who they will become, this episode will help you understand what may be going on underneath the surface.

Here's to raising resilient kids,
Dr. Hilary

Find more from Dr. Hilary:
Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group
Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website

Is gentle parenting not working even after every script you've tried?

Gentle parenting was never meant to be a list of scripts you follow perfectly. Your child is unique, and what helps one child calm down can make another child feel even more overwhelmed.

So, in today's episode, I share five popular gentle parenting techniques that can make meltdowns worse with your sensitive kid, and WHY each one backfires.

You'll learn:
Why gentle parenting doesn't work the way the reels make it look with your sensitive kid
What your child actually hears when you circle back after the meltdown
Why your child can tell you hitting isn't kind and still do it again
How the emotional water pitcher explains the meltdown that shows up after school
How co-regulation strategies for parents shift when your child yells "go away"
What co regulation parenting looks like when naming feelings makes it worse
What gentle parenting REALLY asks of you when your kid needs your calm
How to catch yourself as an overstimulated mom before your tone turns sharp

If you’re tired of wondering why the strategies you’ve been told to use aren’t helping, this episode will help you understand what may be happening underneath the meltdown and what your child might actually need from you in those moments.

Here's to raising resilient kids,
Dr. Hilary

Find more from Dr. Hilary:
Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group
Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website

Does your day feel like one meltdown right after another? Do you dread the sound of your two kids playing in the other room, because you already know how it's going to end?

In today's episode, I unpack what changed for Angela and Andrew, parents of Hudson, who turned three in January, and Nala, who's almost two. Hudson is their sensitive kid, and before they found me, their house ran on power struggles, meltdown after meltdown, and the sinking feeling Andrew got walking in the door after work. Angela was burnt out and looking for parenting help, and every account she found told her something different.

They open up about the argument the two of them had over one Instagram tip, the Band-Aid fixes that never held, and what happened once they had one approach they could both run together. Now their kids play together for long stretches, work through their own frustration, and ask each other, "Are you having a big feeling?"

You'll learn:
Why parental burnout builds when your days are meltdown after meltdown
What Andrew names as the reason for gentle parenting not working in their house
What to look for in parenting help when every account contradicts the last one
Why a highly sensitive first kid can leave you doubting your own instincts
What Angela and Andrew did differently with big emotions in their first weeks
Why sibling rivalry gets loud when little kids have no tools for frustration
What sibling conflict looks like once your kids can work through it themselves
How emotional safety lets you repair with your child after you mess up
What parent coaching looked like week to week for two burnt-out parents

If you're the one holding ALL of it together while your sensitive kid falls apart and your partner is running a completely different playbook … this one's for you. Here's the thing: your child can't be the one to change first, and you can't control your way into a calmer house. You can change how you show up, and that's the KEY that makes every strategy work. I know it can feel SO far out of reach from where you're sitting. Angela and Andrew got there, and so can you!

Here's to raising resilient kids,
Dr. Hilary

Find more from Dr. Hilary:
Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group
Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website

Why does clearing your whole afternoon for a special outing with your sensitive child so often end in a meltdown over dinner?

In this episode, I walk you through why special outings and one-on-one time backfire, and what your child needs from you instead of another gentle parenting script.

I explain why secure attachment takes more than one outing, and why your parenting approach needs to account for what stress does to your child's body long after the fun outing ends.

You'll learn:
Why a fun outing can build resentment on your side even when your child seems happy
What's happening when your child keeps pushing past where you'd normally step in
How giving in at the pool or with the ice cream truck sets up the meltdown that follows
Why your child still falls apart even after getting exactly what they asked for
What the disconnection cycle actually looks like once it becomes a pattern
How exhausted parents keep giving past what they have to give, expecting it to fix things
Why emotional outbursts often follow the exact outings meant to prevent them
What conscious parenting looks like once you stop measuring effort by how much you gave up
Why big emotions don't go away just because the day went well
How parenting burnout builds when every outing is expected to repair the relationship
Why ordinary connection time built into your day outperforms a planned outing
If you've cleared your schedule for outings that still end in a meltdown, wondered why doing everything right doesn't break the pattern, or found yourself resentful even when you're trying your hardest with your parenting approach, this episode is for you.

Here's to raising resilient kids,
Dr. Hilary

Find more from Dr. Hilary:
Raised Resilient | Website | Instagram | Facebook Group
Raised Resilient Chaos to Connection Program | Website