Keeping It Young

Is biblical leadership and submission outdated? Our culture says yes, and many Christian couples have quietly agreed. In Part 1 of Overcoming Lies, Dave and Bethlie Young take on the first lie about marriage: that God's design for husbands and wives is old-fashioned and doesn't work.
They explore how feminist ideology has shaped the way singles, couples, and even church families view marriage and raising children. They explain why "Christian feminist" doesn't hold together, and they show how God made men and women differently on purpose. Husbands love, lead, and provide security. Wives submit, respect, and partner in the mission.
They also speak honestly to couples where one spouse isn't living biblically. It's a clear, grace-filled look at God's design for the Christian family.
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3. Detailed Show Notes
Overcoming Lies (Part 1): The Lie That Leadership and Submission Don't Work
Last week, Dave and Bethlie introduced the series on overcoming the lies we believe. They warned that lies come from the enemy, from the culture, and sometimes from our own hearts. This week, they name the first one. And they start where so many lies do their damage: marriage.
Before naming the lie, they point out that lies won't change anything without the truth of God's Word. They then examine how feminist ideology has moved from the fringe to the mainstream, including within the church. They also explain why God's design of loving leadership and respectful submission still works today.
Truth First: Why the Word of God Is Essential
Daily Devotions
Dave encourages every believer to set aside time each day. Close Instagram, Facebook, and the news, and open God's Word on purpose. An app is fine if that's what it takes, but not as background noise while doing something else. Real learning means stopping to meditate, think, and apply.
Faithfulness to a Bible-Teaching Church
In counseling, they regularly meet Christians who say, "I've never heard that before. Is that in the Bible?" Often these believers grew up in church but missed Sunday after Sunday for travel ball or "family time." They missed the very messages that could have challenged the lies they now believe.
Teaching Children at Home
Parents have to talk about God's Word while walking, driving, and sitting at meals. When issues come up, point your kids to the Bible. Truth is the key to overcoming lies.
How Feminism Has Shaped Views of Marriage
In this episode we will define feminism as a deliberate ideological shift that has reshaped how women, men, and singles view marriage. Bethlie notes how rare it has become to meet a young woman whose goal is to be a wife and mother. Many want marriage someday, but "not right now," after career, travel, and fun.
She points to a popular social media couple whose entire brand celebrates not having children so their Sunday mornings stay free. The message behind messages like that is that children would ruin your life.
"Christian Feminist" Is a Contradiction
Bethlie challenges women who call themselves Christian feminists, even jokingly. If you study what feminism actually teaches, she says, it doesn't line up with the Word of God.
The Lie: Leadership and Submission Are Old-Fashioned and Don't Work
Scripture teaches in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, and 1 Peter 3 that God ordained the husband as head of the home. Wives follow his leadership and partner with him to accomplish the mission God has placed on his heart.
"We Submit to Each Other"?
Many Christian influencers reduce marriage to a co-equal arrangement where husband and wife take turns submitting, based on a verse in Ephesians 5. Mutual submission means both spouses submit to God's plan, and that plan gives husbands and wives distinct roles.
Equal in Worth, Different by Design
Men and women are both created in God's image, with equal access to grace, prayer, and the Father. In Christ, there is neither male nor female. But in a sin-cursed world, God designed the home so that two people with sin natures use their differences for the good of the relationship.
What About Harsh or Abusive Husbands?
A man who lords his leadership over his wife is terribly wrong. He isn't living out the biblical role God gave him. This isn't about wives letting husbands run over them. Both spouses must embrace their God-given roles.
God's Design for Husbands: Love, Lead, and Provide Security
Wives are designed by God to need security and to feel loved. When a husband fails, he undermines both. God commands husbands to love unconditionally so that her need is met through him, not through parents, children, friends, or coworkers.
That's why men are called to be workers. Dave shares how his father sometimes worked two jobs. Even in hard seasons, his mother reminded the children, "Your dad is a hard worker," pointing to the ways he provided security. Young husbands, the culture may ridicule the idea, but work hard to provide security for your wife.
God's Design for Wives: Submit, Respect, and Partner
Husbands are designed by God to accomplish a mission and to feel respected in doing it. That's why many men are "married to their work." Marriage gives them a greater mission: a happy home, provision, and growing old together.
Bethlie challenges the culture of belittling husbands, whether through eye-rolling posts on social media or comments in the church lobby. A disrespected husband often stops trying, which leaves his wife feeling even more unloved. Her goal: when David comes home to Woodstone Drive, he knows he'll find respect there, no matter what happens anywhere else.
Dwell With Understanding: Study Each Other
First Peter 3 calls husbands to live with their wives according to knowledge, with understanding. Every marriage is unique:
Husbands: Learn what your wife needs in order to feel secure, and take steps to provide it.
Wives: Learn what makes your husband feel respected, whether that's words, attitude, partnership, or encouragement.
In a culture built on sarcasm and ridicule, God calls couples to study and meet each other's needs.
When Your Spouse Isn't Living Biblically
Some husbands act like big kids, and some wives expect to be treated like princesses. When one spouse is believing a lie, it's hard. But it doesn't excuse the other spouse from obeying God. Bethlie encourages wives to keep respecting and following their husbands. Often, when one spouse starts doing what's right, the other becomes more willing to follow.

What we laugh at, we tend to accept. And what we accept, we eventually believe and practice. Dave and Bethlie launch a new part of the Overcoming series: Overcoming the Lies We Believe.
This introductory episode looks at three sources of deception: the enemy, who has lied since the Garden; a cultureamplified by social media, AI, and viral humor; and, most surprisingly, ourselves. The Youngs explain why lies don't only affect "the culture out there." They quietly shape good Christian homes, marriages, and how we go about raising children.
The only way to overcome them is the Word of truth, read personally, taught at home, and given priority over every other activity.
Overcoming the Lies We Believe: Series Introduction
Dave and Bethlie begin the final stretch of their year-long Overcoming series with one of their most important topics yet: the lies we believe, and the lies we practice. When our beliefs are wrong, they shape our habits and behavior. That affects our personal lives, our marriages, our churches, and how we raise our children.
Source 1: The Enemy Is a Liar
The Father of Lies
Dave points to John 8:44, where Jesus calls the devil a liar and the father of lies, and to John 10:10, where the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Often the enemy does that destroying through the lies we believe, from political lies that have cost lives to personal lies that damage marriages, children, and grandchildren.
"Yea, Hath God Said?"
Bethlie notes that Satan's very first lie in the Garden questioned God's word. She shares how the enemy lies on both sides of sin, using abortion as an example. First he says, "It's your body, it's not really a baby." Afterward he says, "No one will ever forgive you, and God can't love you now." He tempts us into sin, then piles on shame to keep us in bondage.
Source 2: The Culture Is Deceiving Us
Some cultural lies are simply accepted norms. Others are deliberate, patient, and designed. Dave explains how harmful systems advance step by step, with each step made to look desirable so we ignore where the path leads.
Scripture's Warnings About Deception
Romans 16:18
Ephesians 4:14
Ephesians 5:6
Thessalonians 2:3
1 John 3:7
Source 3: We Can Deceive Ourselves
One of the strangest truths in Scripture is that we can convince ourselves something is true when it isn't, and then defend it and live it.
1 John 1:8
1 Corinthians 3:18
The Only Way to Overcome: The Word of Truth
Follow the Word, Not the Influencer
Bethlie cautions against trusting an Instagram influencer, a favorite author, or a conference speaker more than Scripture. Come to the Bible with an open heart and a mind ready to reason, not with the attitude that it's too archaic to apply.
Devotionals Can't Replace the Bible
Good devotional books and commentaries have value, but they can't replace reading line upon line and precept upon precept: whole chapters, whole books, and the whole counsel of God. Listening while exercising or driving is fine, but life change requires sitting down to focus, learn, and apply.
Church and Family Devotions Are Under Attack
Many families let sports, events, and activities take priority over church. Our forefathers made church the foundation of life, not an add-on. Dave points to Deuteronomy's pattern of teaching children God's Word when sitting at home, walking along the way, lying down, and rising up. Without personal Bible reading, family devotions, and faithful church attendance, we can't overcome the lies.
 
4. Key Takeaways
Cultural lies follow a pattern: what we laugh at, we accept, believe, and eventually practice. Be careful what entertains your Christian family.
Spiritual deception comes from three sources: the enemy, the culture, and our own hearts.
Satan lies on both sides of sin. He tempts you in, then shames you to keep you in bondage. God's truth offers freedom.
Reading the Bible for yourself matters. Devotionals and influencers can't replace studying God's Word line upon line.
Raising children in the truth requires family devotions and making church a priority, not an add-on to a busy schedule

In the final part of the mini-series Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie bring the five-step series to a close. They show how to stop dividing and start doing life together. That means family dinners at the table instead of in front of the TV, walks after supper, date traditions, and even peeling potatoes side by side.
Dave and Bethlie discuss the last two steps in this last mini-series episode. Affirm your commitment through words, vows, and simple texts that say "I'm here for you." And forgive, both by asking for forgiveness and by offering it before you're asked.
 
Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 3): Do Life Together, Affirm, and Forgive
Help for marriages is everywhere: books, podcasts, and resources right on your phone. But as Dave and Bethlie warn, it's easy to heap up knowledge and never take it to heart. In Episode 336, the Youngs wrap up their mini-series with practical steps to put into practice this week, whether your marriage is truly struggling, a little stale, or just too busy.
Episode Overview
The five steps for overcoming a struggling marriage are Speak, Seek, Abandon, Affirm, and Forgive.
Quick Review: Speak, Seek, Abandon
Speak words of affection, affirmation, gratitude, and prayer.
Seek to do things together, serve each other, solve problems, and seek God together.
Abandon criticism, negative statements, and division. That does not mean abandoning your spouse.
Abandon Division: Do Life Together
Eat Together
Aim for at least one meal a day together, ideally supper. For the Youngs, family table time was one of the most looked-forward-to parts of the day. Even with children at the table, husband and wife connect by hearing the same stories and caring for the kids as a team. Eating side by side in front of the TV isn't the same as eating together.
Exercise Together
Most of us live sedentary lives, so take a walk after dinner or work out together. Dave set up a small garage gym that the family still uses.
Enjoy Entertainment Together, Wisely
Ball games, plays, musicals, and traditions all count. For years, the Youngs' annual tradition was seeing A Christmas Carol at the Ohio Theatre. It was entertaining, and it was an investment in their marriage.
Do the Extra Things Together
Bethlie connected with each of their children in the kitchen, where light conversations often turned into teaching moments (what the kids call "mom mode").
As newly empty nesters, they found new connection when Dave asked, "What can I do?" and started peeling potatoes and carrots for Sunday dinner.
Is your spouse a golfer? Ride along. One couple at their church turned his golf outings into time together, with her serving as the cart chauffeur.
Step 4: Affirm
Reaffirm your commitment and your vows, especially when things are hard: "I meant it when I said for better, for worse."
Affirmation can be lighthearted, too:
"I'd marry you all over again."
"You're still my favorite person in the world."
"You're still the most attractive person I've ever seen."
Affirm With a Simple Text
Bethlie suggests a quick message on a hard day, such as "I'm praying for you" or "You're going to do great."
Step 5: Forgive
Ask for Forgiveness and Give It Freely
Ask: "I know this was wrong. Will you forgive me?" But you can also forgive without being asked, simply because you love your spouse and the offense isn't worth holding on to.
When a Hidden Hurt Turns Into Bitterness
Dave shares a recent counseling session with a couple who had already seen several counselors. The wife listed everything her husband wouldn't change. Then the husband quietly said that during the hardest time of his life, she wasn't there for him. She didn't seem to even hear it. Whether or not his hurt was justified, it had turned to bitterness, and that bitterness was dividing them.
Satan uses held-on hurts to undo every other step. He silences our speaking, makes us stop seeking, and encourages division.
Forgive in God's Power, Not Your Own
Bethlie reminds believers that Scripture commands us to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, just as Christ forgave us. If you feel you can't forgive, get alone with God and ask for His forgiving power. Remembering how much He has forgiven you can be overwhelming. And ask the Lord whether the thing you're holding on to is really a big deal at all. Deal with unforgiveness quickly, before it grows.
Coming Up Next Week
Overcoming the Lies of Our Culture

Overcoming a Struggling Marriage (Part 2): Abandon Criticism, Negativity, and Division
Ask most couples if their marriage is struggling and they'll say, "No… but we're really busy." Jobs, church, and a calendar full of the kids' sports, music lessons, and fine arts can leave husbands and wives passing in the hallway. Some couples simply land in a stagnant season.
In Episode 335, Dave and Bethlie Young continue their mini-series within the Overcoming series. They remind couples that it takes two to overcome a struggling marriage, and that the Christian's victory over the world comes through faith.
Episode Overview
After a quick review of last week's first two steps, the Youngs introduce the third step for overcoming a struggling marriage: Abandon. They're quick to clarify that this does not mean abandoning your spouse. It means letting go of three habits that quietly erode a Christian marriage.
A Struggling Marriage Takes Two
In counseling, the Youngs often find that each spouse wants to be closer but sees the fault only in the other person. Dave points to the Lord's message to the lukewarm church of Laodicea. Things weren't well, though they thought they were, yet the Lord loved them and promised to help them overcome.
Review: Step 1 — Speak
Husbands speak words of affection, and wives speak words of affirmation.
Both spouses speak gratitude, praise, and prayer.
Dave recalls the Youngs' interview with Dr. Gary Thomas about making good marriages great.
In a recent counseling session, a wife immediately attacked her husband's account instead of sharing her own. Dave's response: Stop that.
Check-in question: What words of affection or affirmation did you speak on purpose this week?
Review: Step 2 — Seek
Seek to serve each other. Ask "What can I do for you?" instead of "What will my spouse do for me?"
Seek to solve problems together. Be swift to hear and slow to speak, and learn to identify the real problem.
Seek God together. Go to church, small groups, and Bible studies together, and above all, pray together to reconnect when you feel distant.
Step 3 — Abandon
Abandon All Criticism
Scripture teaches that as a person thinks in their heart, so are they. When a husband constantly criticizes his wife, she begins to see herself that way and live that way. The same is true when a wife criticizes her husband. The Youngs note they see this same pattern in children raised by negative parents.
Bethlie adds that a husband who is constantly corrected for how he bathes or diapers the baby or shops for groceries will often just stop trying. That leaves the wife even more frustrated.
How to Address Real Issues Without Criticism
Ask a favor. Try "Would you do this for me?" instead of sarcasm or eye-rolling.
Accept that different isn't wrong. If the baby gets changed, go with it.
Talk with curiosity. Ask, "Is that how your family did it?"
Save corrections for things that truly matter, and let the rest go.
Wives, watch the perfectionism. As Bethlie puts it, get off your "control girl high horse."
Abandon All Negative Statements
Sitcom-style sarcasm, like "You're such an idiot, ha ha," trained a generation to laugh at put-downs. In a real marriage, those words weaken and demolish.
Abandon Division
Anything that pulls you apart has to go. Dave points to Peter's call to "add to your faith." God works through addition and multiplication. Add to your marriage, and multiply your efforts: if your kind words didn't land last week, say them ten times more. Text them, email them, write them on the calendar, or tuck them in a lunchbox.
How Technology and Busyness Divide the Christian Family
Picking up from the Overcoming Technology series, the Youngs warn that couples can sit on the same couch or lie in the same bed on separate devices and still be divided. Children's activities can divide families too.
Try this: Take your family out to eat, leave every phone in the car, and notice how hard conversation feels at first.
This Week's Homework
Sit down together and ask:
Do you feel like we are divided in any way?
What do you think we could do to improve that?
Part 3 continues next week with more on doing life together.

A struggling marriage doesn't have to become a doomed marriage. In Part 1 of Overcoming a Struggling Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share the first two of five biblical steps for turning a Christian marriage around, even in the busy years of raising children.
Step one is SPEAK. Husbands give words of affection, wives give words of affirmation, and both spouses offer gratitude, praise, and prayer. Step two is SEEK. That means seeking each other out, serving each other, solving problems together, and seeking God together, including a simple church-pew habit that protects your marriage.
The episode is practical, and a little funny (yes, the bedroom pillows come up). It's for every Christian family that wants more than "just hanging on."
Why a Struggling Marriage Isn't a Doomed Marriage
Marriages struggle for many reasons:
Busy seasons of work and raising young children
Empty-nest adjustments after years centered on the kids
Phones and screens pulling spouses into separate corners
Deeper hurts, such as dishonesty or feeling uncared for
The first move is refusing the lie that struggle means the end.
Step 1: Speak
Speech is one of God's greatest gifts to people. In a struggling marriage, couples tend to go silent, or they let loose unkind and unhelpful words. Dave points to Scripture's call to avoid corrupt communication and to build each other up. He also cites Solomon's warning in Proverbs that careless words can pierce like a sword.
Husbands: Speak Words of Affection
A wife needs to hear "I love you," and Dave suggests adding the word because: "I love you because…" That meets her heart's question: Am I loved enough?
Wives: Speak Words of Affirmation
A husband's heart asks: Do you respect me? Am I good enough? Bethlie challenges wives to resist the cultural habit of picking men apart, both at home, among friends, and on social media. She shares a testimony from the Seeking Him Bible study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Tim Grissom. In it, a wife repented of being controlling and critical, and her husband said her new encouragement let him thrive.
Both Spouses: Speak Gratitude, Praise, and Prayer
Gratitude: Don't take a hardworking husband or a devoted wife for granted. Say thank you often.
Praise: The praise you need should come from inside your home, not from strangers at the grocery store.
Prayer: Pray for your spouse instead of growing bitter. Send a text that says, "I prayed for you today."
Bethlie shares a helpful principle attributed to Mrs. Graham: Take your praise to your husband, and take your complaints to the Lord.
Step 2: Seek
Seek Each Other Out and Do Things Together
Put the phones down. Don't settle into separate rooms. Play board or card games, watch a movie, and laugh together. Don't let the world separate you.
Seek to Serve Each Other
Get the snack. Run the errand. Wipe down the sink. Learn how your spouse likes things done, even the order of the bed pillows, and turn small irritations into acts of service.
Seek to Solve Problems Together
Listen well, identify the real problem, give grace, and learn to let things go. (The Youngs' earlier conflict resolution series goes deeper on this.)
Seek God Together
Worship together, sit together in church, attend small groups and Sunday school together, and pray together. Bethlie shares advice from Pat and Susie Del Porto: don't let your children sit between you in church. Sitting shoulder to shoulder under the Word of God softens hearts and sweetens a marriage.