Part 3 in the series on the book The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships. Chapter 6 Finding the Best solution to any conflict Making Wise decisions is having the ability through discretion and extensive knowledge to sensibly discern and judge something before receiving and acting upon it. Power struggles cause the most issues with teens The key is to find a solution that both can feel good about Keys: Establish rules about discussing conflicts 10 rules for fair fighting The calmer the argument, the better the chance of an honoring outcome. With teens agree ahead of time on what the consequences of poor choices will be. Chapter 7 Democracy can bring responsibility to your home Real freedom is having the inner power to do what is best for all concerned. Immaturity is lacking the power to do what we know is right and not being able to delay gratification This is the chapter where they talk about making a contract See p. 118 for the why have one A written and signed document has tremendous power to keep peoplein harmony with agreed-upon, loving rules And p. 119 on how to develop one You have to read the book for all the details, but here are a few thoughts: Younger kids need less contract Teens need more Use precise wording that makes expectations clear We have recommended this in blended families especially The more involved in the agreement the greater the outcome There is a section here with some very practical advice: On asking questions - important to teach our teens We taught ours the Daniel method based on Daniel 1 On Cleanliness is good too Their rooms had to be clean before leaving for school or no TV for 24 hours
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Books That Can Help and Why... [Smalley] Part 2
Dave and Bethlie continue their series on the book The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships. Chapter 5. How to Argue with Teenagers and Come Out as Closer Friends 5,000 adults asked what they wished their parents had done differently during times of conflict They wished their parents had listened more They wished they could have talked about feelings more. They wished they had talked to their parents more Begin by listening - James 1:19 Sometimes we men don't know what to say to connect to our children's emotions - listening is a huge part of the battle Allow their emotion to touch you Take time to feel their pain Take time to feel their sadness Four destructive ways to argue Continually withdrawing from an argument Letting them escalate into hurtful name calling fights Belittling or invalidating each other during an argument Believing that a family member is tryin to hurt, frustrate, or cause fear on purpose. Drive-thru talking!
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[From the Archives] A Biblical Overview of Emotions and Personality
We're taking a break from our book study this week and focusing on a very important topic in our society. During this season of high emotions in our country, join Dave and Bethlie as they look at emotions and personality from a Biblical standpoint. This episode originally aired on episode 142.
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Books That Can Help and Why... [Smalley] Part 1
Dave and Bethlie begin a new series on the book The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships. This is a great book about navigating the teen years. I love the quotes that are at the beginning of each chapter: Any adult who behaves the way that teenagers behave would be judged as certifiably insane. Ana Freud In no order of things is adolescence the simple time of life. -Jean Erskine Stewart Fifty years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account, or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child. -anonymous Many of the others are verses. Here are some of the subjects he tackles: How to make the teen years the best years How to keep anger levels low How to argue with a teen and come out as closer friends Finding the best solution in any conflict How democracy can bring responsibility to your home Strengthening your relationship with your teenager Helping teens make lemonade out of life's "lemons" Helping teens maintain and regain their virginity When teenagers walk away from the light Leaving home in honor Chapter Three - Keeping Anger Levels Low Unresolved anger is the number one enemy of our teen's healthy development and spiritual growth. Three faces of unresolved anger Hurt feelings Frustration Fear/Feeling unsafe What does it look like? Relationally - We distance from others Spiritually - We walk in the dark Emotionally - we close our heart What provokes anger? Sarcastic jokes and comments Refusing to let them think on their own That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard You are too young to understand Who asked you? Four steps in opening a teen closed spirit Reflect tenderness Lower your voice Become gentle in heart Speak slowly Get down on one knee Relax your facial expressions Increase your own understanding Empathy is identifying and understanding the other person's situation, feeling, and motives Admit the offense Write a note of apology And so forth Seek Forgiveness
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Books That Can Help...and Why [Adams] Part 2
Join Dave and Bethlie discuss as they discuss part 2 of thei 4th book in this series. Solving Marriage Problems by Jay E. Adams. Part 2 Chapter 5 - More Unbiblical concepts about marriage One's priorities must change radically with marriage. Marriage is a commitment to become a new person. Chapter 6 deals with handling Stubborn Habits that wreck a marriage A habit is dislodged only by crowding it out with its biblical alternative. No change commanded by God is unrealistic for those who know Christ as their Savior and are willing to do things His way. Chapter 7 deals with communication Communication is essential for developing and maintaining the deep intimacy that God designed for the marriage relationship. The Christian walk (subject of Ephesians 4-6) is not a solitary walk. Harmony in walk requires harmony in talk. Mishandled anger is one of he biggest hindrances to communication Clamming up Blowing up Truth may hurt, but in the long run it will not hurt like a lie And truth can be told to another, if it is relevant and spoken in the right manner Chapter 10 The parent-child relationship is temporary: God says it must be broken. The husband wife relationship is permanent.
A weekly podcast hosted by Dave and Bethlie Young who have spoken to thousands of people across America and around the world. Their heart is to encourage, direct, and strengthen your marriage, family, and ministry life.
You will find humor, helpful teaching, and great encouragement.
Join them each week as together they share Biblical and practical insights.
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