Dating Intentionally

Rejection doesn't have to destroy your confidence or convince you that you'll never find your person. In this episode, I'm sharing how to bounce back faster after getting rejected, ghosted, or hearing "there wasn't a spark." We'll talk about why rejection feels so personal, how to stop the anxiety spirals before they take over, and the mindset shifts that will help you keep your self-worth intact while continuing to date intentionally.
Tune in for...
Why rejection feels so much bigger than it actually is
How to stop telling yourself hopeless stories after a "no"
The 24-hour rule for bouncing back faster
Practical ways to stop anxiety spirals after rejection
What to say when someone rejects you (and what not to say)
Why rejection isn't a reflection of your worth
The questions to ask yourself instead of "What's wrong with me?"
My own experiences navigating rejection while dating

Whether you've been ghosted before a first date or rejected after a few months of dating, this episode will help you move forward with more confidence and resilience.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Dating Roadblock Quiz
Episode 281 (Kelsey Darragh) on healing after heartbreak
Episode 221 (Cole Zesinger) on moving on after a breakup
My "closing the loop" text templates

Instead of asking "what's wrong with me," get curious and reflect on these questions:
Am I consistently pursuing people who aren't available or aren't looking for the same thing?
Am I showing up as myself, or am I trying to earn someone's approval?
Am I choosing people based on mutual interest, or am I getting attached to potential before they've shown consistent effort?
Am I overlooking signs that someone isn't able to meet me where I am?
Am I being curious, showing interest, and being direct, or am I playing games to get their attention?
Am I owning who I am, or leading with my insecurities?

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is someone being "out of your league" even a real thing? In this episode, I'm chatting with relationship scientist and author Paul Eastwick (Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection) to unpack the science of mate value, why matchmaking based on shared traits almost never works, and what actually predicts compatibility (it's not the traits on your list).
From decoding your own dating patterns to knowing when attraction is genuinely going to grow, this conversation is packed with practical, research-backed advice for anyone who feels stuck comparing partners against a checklist.
In this episode, we cover:
Why what you say you want in a partner doesn't predict who you actually choose
The truth about mate value and dating "out of your league"
Why matchmaking based on shared traits and interests rarely works
What actually predicts long-term compatibility (hint: it's not a trait)
Why attraction often grows slowly instead of hitting all at once
Whether a strict list of dealbreakers helps or hurts you

At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about a situationship where trust was broken, and whether it's worth trying to repair it.

CONNECT WITH PAUL
Love Factually podcast
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dating today can be a mess, and so much of that mess stems from confusion, uncertainty, and ambiguity showing up in ways that just infuriate us. In this episode, I'm answering four listener dating dilemmas that each capture a different flavor of that chaos, from the planning-phase ghost to the partner whose humor crosses a line to the slow fade that sends you spiraling over someone you barely know. These aren't rare, one-off situations either. I hear versions of these same four patterns constantly, which is exactly why I wanted to break them down together. I'm covering:
What to do when a guy keeps initiating dates that never actually happen
Why a plan without a set time, date, and location usually isn't a real plan at all
How to know if you're being "managerial" by helping plan a date, or just being reasonable
How to handle a new boyfriend whose "jokes" cross a real line
What it means when a partner says the only way to be with you is to suppress part of himself
Whether to say something when a casual connection's slow responses start to bother you
How much effort is reasonable to expect when you're not looking for anything serious
How to hold onto your sense of self when someone goes quiet after a great phone call
How to tell the difference between an old trigger and an actual red flag in the moment

For each one, I give you the exact tweak I'd make if I were in your shoes, along with the bigger pattern underneath so you can spot it before it drains you again. My hope is that you walk away from this episode more decisive, less likely to spiral, and a little more convinced that most of this isn't actually about you.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you actually get over a breakup, and why does it feel so impossible? In this episode, I'm chatting with author and mental health advocate Kelsey Darragh to unpack the science of heartbreak, why no-contact is so difficult, and what actually helps you move forward after a breakup (It's not the closure moment you think it is).
From healing after a long-term relationship to knowing when you're ready to date again, this conversation is packed with practical advice for anyone struggling to let go of an ex or rebuild trust in love.
In this episode, we cover:
Why the story you tell yourself about your breakup matters
The psychology behind no-contact (and how to stick with it)
The truth about where closure comes from
How to know when you're ready to date again
Heartbreak vs. mental health: when to seek extra support
Whether you should tell a new partner about mistakes you've made in past relationships
At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether you need to disclose past cheating before entering a new relationship.

CONNECT WITH KELSEY
On Instagram
Get her new book, Don't Do What I Did
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not sure who's worthy of a first date? In this episode, I'm sharing my exact process for deciding who gets a first date, including the one screening step I wish I'd done more of before meeting people in person.
The 3 questions to ask yourself before meeting someone
What's actually worth paying attention to on a profile (and what to ignore)
Why over-vetting someone like a job interview backfires
How texting for too long creates a false sense of intimacy
Why a quick phone or video screening call beats weeks of DMs
How vetting works differently when you meet someone offline vs. on the apps

At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a woman whose boyfriend of three months lied about his age.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
How to nail a first date from start to finish

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.