Dating Intentionally

Why do so many relationships seem to fall apart at around three months? You finally feel like things are going somewhere, and then suddenly, something shifts. In this episode, I'm breaking down the “three-month cliff” and what’s really happening when a promising relationship suddenly fizzles, pulls back, or ends.
We’ll talk about:
The 3 biggest reasons relationships fall apart around three months
How to tell whether it’s a genuine incompatibility, a commitment issue, or simply a lack of chemistry
Signs that it's you or them (depending on the situation)
How to actually make it past the three-month mark
Why a three-month relationship that ends is NOT a failure
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 43-year-old man who is worried about eventually outliving his future partner.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 285 with Chris Rackliffe about codependency
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Submit a dating dilemma
Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)
Book a 1:1 with me
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is the first episode of a new series called First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on listeners who are actively dating to walk through a recent first date with me - how they met, how the date got planned, what actually happened, and how they felt afterward.
First up is Savannah, a 30-year-old middle school teacher in California who's had a wild six months, including discovering the boyfriend she'd been dating for three months had a wife. We're discussing everything from why speed dating rebuilt her dating confidence to sending the first message when nobody reaches out to the exact moment a good first date starts to get awkward. Savannah also shares the shift that took the pressure off her first dates: you don't need to feel romantic feelings on date one; you just need to feel safe and curious.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.
Get the Date Tracker app so you can do your own vibe checks!
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you’re always the one texting first, planning the dates, and keeping a connection moving forward, it’s easy to start wondering: do they actually like me, or am I doing all the work?
In this episode, I’m breaking down the truth about effort in dating: why some people initiate more than others, what someone’s effort actually tells you about their interest, and how to stop spiraling when someone goes quiet.
Tune in for...
What effort and initiation actually look like in dating (and why they matter)
The real reasons someone might not initiate, and why the reason doesn’t change what you do next
The one question to ask yourself when dating feels one-sided: do you want clarity, connection, or desire?
The “I can’t tell” text and exactly when to send it
Why “if they wanted to, they would” is complicated dating advice
The difference between having standards, setting boundaries, and trying to control someone’s behavior
Why initiation chicken and wanting to be chased can keep you stuck
How multi-dating helped me stop investing in people who weren’t showing up
How to tell the difference between a normal imbalance in effort and a connection that isn’t reciprocal
Whether you’re carrying a connection for a few weeks, wondering why you’re always the one making plans, or staring at your phone trying to figure out what their silence means, this episode will help you stop decoding their behavior and start paying attention to what their effort is showing you.
At the end, I tackle a dating dilemma from a man who reconnected with someone he dated 18 years ago and has spent two months texting without ever meeting up.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Book a 1:1 with me
Close The Loop text templates
Free texting guide
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
Get the Date Tracker app!
Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you tend to go all in when you like someone, to the point where you've lost touch with your own life a bit? I'm chatting with Chris Rackliffe, an anxious attachment coach and author of Needy No More: The Journey from Anxious to Secure Attachment, who's helped thousands of people heal from patterns of trauma, abandonment, and codependency. We're getting into why we lose ourselves in dating and what to do about it.
We cover:
The earliest signs you're starting to abandon yourself when you meet someone new
Why resentment is the clearest signal a compromise has tipped into self-betrayal
Chris's framework for codependency
Why guilt is proportional to how long you've been overriding your own needs
His concept of emotional diversification, and why spreading out your sources of connection is a protective strategy, not just something nice to have
How to apply this whether you're in early dating or an established relationship
Whether opposite sleep schedules are actually a dealbreaker
At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma about whether opposite sleep schedules are a dealbreaker.

CONNECT WITH CHRIS
Find Chris on Instagram and TikTok
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube
Join the Date Tracker app waitlist
Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rejection doesn't have to destroy your confidence or convince you that you'll never find your person. In this episode, I'm sharing how to bounce back faster after getting rejected, ghosted, or hearing "there wasn't a spark." We'll talk about why rejection feels so personal, how to stop the anxiety spirals before they take over, and the mindset shifts that will help you keep your self-worth intact while continuing to date intentionally.
Tune in for...
Why rejection feels so much bigger than it actually is
How to stop telling yourself hopeless stories after a "no"
The 24-hour rule for bouncing back faster
Practical ways to stop anxiety spirals after rejection
What to say when someone rejects you (and what not to say)
Why rejection isn't a reflection of your worth
The questions to ask yourself instead of "What's wrong with me?"
My own experiences navigating rejection while dating

Whether you've been ghosted before a first date or rejected after a few months of dating, this episode will help you move forward with more confidence and resilience.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Dating Roadblock Quiz
Episode 281 (Kelsey Darragh) on healing after heartbreak
Episode 221 (Cole Zesinger) on moving on after a breakup
My "closing the loop" text templates

Instead of asking "what's wrong with me," get curious and reflect on these questions:
Am I consistently pursuing people who aren't available or aren't looking for the same thing?
Am I showing up as myself, or am I trying to earn someone's approval?
Am I choosing people based on mutual interest, or am I getting attached to potential before they've shown consistent effort?
Am I overlooking signs that someone isn't able to meet me where I am?
Am I being curious, showing interest, and being direct, or am I playing games to get their attention?
Am I owning who I am, or leading with my insecurities?

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! bbvibes.com/DatingIntentionally
FREE STUFF
Dating Guides: 90 questions, FAQ, text templates & more
CONNECT WITH ME
Submit a dating dilemma
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.