Dating Intentionally

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.
In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices
Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 277 on IRL dating
What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
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MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
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How do you stay open-minded in dating without settling for less than what you want? And what happens when someone treats you well, checks a lot of the important boxes, but something still feels… off?
In this episode, I’m joined by licensed therapist Jordanne Sculler to talk about the messy, nuanced parts of dating that don’t fit neatly into a set of rules. We unpack why familiar relationship dynamics can feel more attractive than healthy ones, why self-awareness alone doesn’t always break old patterns, and how to tell when you’re honoring your needs versus shrinking yourself to keep someone around.
Listen for...
How to be open in dating without lowering your standards
Why dating checklists can get in the way of real connection
The difference between self-soothing and suppressing a legitimate need
Why someone healthy might initially feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar
How to stop focusing so much on whether someone likes you and ask whether you like them
What dating disappointment can bring up about your self-worth
How social media can reinforce negative stories about dating
Grieving the relationship or life timeline you thought you’d have by now
Why processing disappointment is different from simply “getting over it”
How Jordanne met her husband after initially writing him off

And at the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a woman wondering if she made a huge mistake by ending things with a great guy who didn’t feel like her person.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tiny habits that can help you get better dating results, feel more confident and in control, and make dating a little more enjoyable. We’ll talk about how to make decisions without endlessly second-guessing yourself, learn from your dates, show interest without playing games, protect your mindset from dating negativity, and get clear on intentions early.
In this episode, we cover:
How being more decisive can build confidence and self-trust
Why tracking and reflecting on your dates can help you spot patterns and learn what actually works for you
How to show interest when you're interested without playing it cool or worrying about “double texting”
Why opting out of negative dating narratives can help you stay open and hopeful
How bringing up your intentions early can help you avoid confusion, situationships, and wasted time
Dating habits from the Dating Intentionally community that helped people stay grounded and keep going
A dating dilemma about bad timing, competing connections, and whether being direct after two dates was “too much”

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Episode 286 - If they wanted to they would? The truth about effort in dating
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Say hi on Instagram
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What can you learn from a first date that was just okay? And why does what happens after the date sometimes tell you more than the date itself? This is another episode of First Date Vibe Check, where I bring on a listener to walk me through a recent first date, from matching and messaging to the date itself, the post-date feelings, and what happened next.
This time, I’m talking to Katelyn (39), a single mom looking for a long-term relationship. She met “Trey” on Facebook Dating, moved the conversation over to Instagram, and eventually went on a two-hour dinner date.
We’re getting into:
Why she prefers active first dates over dinner
How she uses Instagram in her dating life
The green flags she looks for in dating app conversations
How she realized she wasn’t actually that excited about him
Why feeling safe and having a “good enough” time doesn’t automatically mean you should go on a second date
The post-date interaction that gave her a whole new data point
Her firm boundary around second dates at home
How she decides whether to give someone another chance
And how to spend less time on the apps while getting to the date faster
Plus, Katelyn shares her best advice for staying positive when dating feels like a never-ending series of almosts.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Want to break down a first date with me on the pod? Apply here.
Get the Date Tracker app (iOS only for now) so you can do your own vibe checks!
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Submit a dating dilemma
Book a 1:1 with me

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you’re newly single, coming out of a long-term relationship, or you’ve simply been out of the dating world for years, getting back into dating can feel overwhelming. The apps have changed, the dating culture has changed, and you may have changed, too. In this episode, I’m breaking down how to get back into the dating scene with less pressure, more confidence, and a whole lot more perspective. Think of this as your dating bestie’s guide to getting your feet wet again without expecting yourself to immediately find your future spouse.
Listen for:
How to know if you’re actually ready to date
Why your first goal should simply be going on a date, not finding a relationship
How to lower the stakes
Why awkward, boring, or unsuccessful dates are actually part of the process
The different ways to meet people to date
How to manage fears around rejection, inexperience, being judged, or someone changing their mind
Why you need to stop getting ahead of yourself
How journaling, setting intentions, and finding ways to feel confident can make the process feel more manageable
The biggest lessons I learned when I jumped back into dating after a six-year relationship

And I'm sharing a new dating dilemma at the end about trying to figure out whether someone wants kids before you date them.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
💗 Bellesa: EVERYONE gets a free Rose suction toy with EVERY single order! bboutique.co/vibe/datingintentionally-pod
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
🛏️ Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Start tracking dates with Date Tracker (iOS)
Submit a dating dilemma
Reveal your dating blindspot (quiz)
Book a 1:1 with me
Slide into my DMs on IG
Watch the pod on YouTube

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.