Ep #143 It's Like Smoking on an Airplane: How Parenting Practices Change
For decades, discipline was shaped by behavioral science—rewards, punishments, and timeouts were seen as essential parenting tools. But the research has moved on. Have we?In this episode, we trace the evolution of parenting science—from Skinner and Watson to Porges and Siegel—and explore why many of the most common strategies today (like timeouts) may be as outdated as smoking on an airplane.Inside the episode:📚 What polyvagal theory and attachment science reveal about emotional regulation🧠 Why isolation during distress (i.e. timeouts) is neurologically counterproductive🐀 What lab rats and chocolate chips can teach us about connection as a survival need📉 How cortisol levels and brain imaging show the hidden cost of disconnection🧬 Why co-regulation is foundational to brain development—not a parenting luxury🚫 And how old-school discipline is quietly being replaced by neuroscience-backed strategiesIf you've ever wondered why your child’s behavior doesn’t change with consequences—or if you're ready to move from control to connection—this episode will give you the science (and stories) to make the shift.Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #142 Red Flags, Deal Breakers & Non-Negotiables: Your Ultimate Tolerance Guide
In today's episode of the Connect Method Parenting Podcast, I'm diving headfirst into the messy, confusing, absolutely necessary world of figuring out what to tolerate in your relationships with your kids (and honestly, everyone else in your life). Because let's face it - we're all walking that tightrope between doormat and dictator DAILY.Here's what we're unpacking today:• The "Compassionate Alpha" approach - that magical middle ground between permissive pushover and authoritarian tyrant (spoiler alert: both extremes come from the same place of fear!)• My "Seen and Heard Sandwich" framework that starts with Connection and ends with Bridge - your step-by-step guide for handling everything from epic Target checkout meltdowns to homework battles• Why "accepting" your child's behavior is NOT the same as "condoning" it (say it with me, people!)• The traffic circle of frustration (thanks Dr. Neufeld!) and why our job isn't to punish the attacking energy but to help our kids move from mad to sad• My embarrassingly real Target story involving two toddlers, a public meltdown, and a stranger's birth control commentary (I literally abandoned my cart and fled)• The mind-blowing concept that "their behavior is information" - they're not trying to ruin your life, they're communicating something!Remember: You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. But tolerating your child's emotions doesn't mean letting go of boundaries - it means showing up with both compassion AND firmness.Whether you're dealing with eye-rolling teens or cookie-demanding toddlers, this episode is your permission slip to stop trying to "win" the power struggle and start winning the relationship instead.DM on IG @connectmethodparenting about YOUR tolerance dilemmas - I read every single one while contemplating whether I should have that last cookie in my fridge (Dollar Cookie Day, you are my weakness!).Stay boundaried but beautiful!xo AndeeNext Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #141 Not Just About the Dishes: How Hidden Thoughts Hijack Your Parenting
Ever send a text you regretted THE SECOND your thumb hit "send"? 🙋♀️ Just had one of those mom-text moments that made my stomach do that "oh no" flip. You know the one!Today I'm spilling about a moment (spoiler: it involved a car that looked like a convenience store had exploded inside it) and the thought-work rabbit hole I tumbled down afterward.The Mom-Brain MeltdownWe just returned from our 6-month family adventure, and suddenly we're back to normal life. The house was a disaster, I was a walking jet lag zombie, and then I found THE CAR. 🤯Cue text message that basically said "I guess no one cares about cleaning up" (with extra mom-sass).And then... that sinking feeling hit.The Secret ThoughtsMy brain was secretly thinking:"I shouldn't have to deal with this after coming home from a trip.""My teenagers are TOTALLY taking advantage of me.""They don't respect me/our home/our car""I'm failing at teaching responsibility."Sound familiar? Please tell me I'm not alone! 🙏Your Brain: Basically a Junk DrawerThese thoughts were building up like that kitchen junk drawer we all have. You know, the one where you toss random stuff until one day you desperately need something in it and you can't find it??!!! The Five Thought-Error StylesThe Catastrophizer: "If my child doesn't learn this now, they'll live in my basement forever."The Comparer: "Kim's kids would NEVER leave a mess like this." (They absolutely do.)The Crystal Ball Reader: "This behavior means my child is definitely going to end up like my weird uncle."The Mind Reader: "My child KNOWS this drives me crazy and is doing it to push my buttons."The Personalizer: "This messy room is a billboard announcing my failure as a parent."Thought-Catching ToolsDaily Thought Download: 5 minutes of word-vomiting all your parenting thoughts onto paper.Trigger Tracker: When eye-twitchy parent rage builds, write down the facts, your thoughts, feelings, actions, and the mess they created.Thought Swap: Try different thoughts like you're in a mental changing room.Reality Check: Ask, "Is this thought 100% true, or am I being dramatic?"Future Self Question: "What would wise, gray-haired future-me think about this?"Your HomeworkThis week, become a thought detective. Those annoying thoughts? They're leaving clues EVERYWHERE. Catch them before they turn you into a passive-aggressive texting monster.When you notice a thought that doesn't feel good, write it down and decide if it's helping you be the parent your kid needs.Choose thoughts that feel true AND helpful. Not "I LOVE crusty dishes!" but maybe "This is normal teenage behavior, not a personal attack."Final ThoughtsFinding and owning your thoughts isn't about becoming a perfect parent with perfect thoughts. It's about catching yourself before you spiral and remembering that your thoughts create your reality.If you've got your own "I can't believe I said that" moment, a question, or you'd love me to cover a topic on the podcast, slide into my DMs on Instagram @connectmethodparenting!And if this episode saved you from sending your own regrettable message, show a girl some love and leave a review! ⭐Until next time: connection before correction (and maybe put a delay on your text messages 😉).Byeeee! 💕Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #140 The SEE-quel: How Understanding Replaced Fixing in My Parenting OS
So here's the deal—I've been low-key obsessed with creating this geeky-but-life-changing episode about the SEEing Framework that has COMPLETELY rewired how I parent. And listen, when you've had six kids in eight years like I have, you need all the mental frameworks you can get!Here's the mind-blowing data point that sent me down this rabbit hole: Dr. Neufeld's research shows that 95% (!!!) of kids' problem behaviors were never actually intended. NINETY-FIVE PERCENT, people! I used to be the correction queen, y'all. I had more sticker charts than Target's office supply section. In this episode, I break down my SEEing Framework that's basically the ultimate parent hack:🤓 S - See the Other Person (not just their behavior) 🤓 E - Emotions are data, not disasters! 🤓 E - Engage before directing (connection before correction) 🤓 I - Investigate with curiosity (be a behavior detective!) 🤓 N - Neuroscience supports this! (I get nerdy with brain facts!) 🤓 G - Growth happens in relationship (mind = blown)Years ago my daughter was having this EPIC bedtime resistance campaign that would impress military strategists. Old me would have gone straight to consequences. New SEEing Framework me discovered she was actually having scary thoughts and feeling unsafe! The moment I shifted from "WHY WON'T YOU JUST GO TO BED ALREADY?!" to "Oh wait, what message is this behavior sending?" everything changed.If you're like "This sounds amazing, but HOW do I do this when my kid is having a Target floor tantrum and strangers are staring at me like I'm starring in my own reality show called 'Parenthood: The Unhinged Years'?"—I've got you covered with practical steps!If this episode helps you see your child differently, even ONCE, please share it with another parent! And if you have three seconds, smash that subscribe button or leave a review!Stay curious!!xoAndeeP.S. What if I told you that tomorrow, instead of trying to correct your child, you just tried to SEE them? Mind-blowing, right? Try it and DM me on IG @connectmethodparenting and lmk how it goes. Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
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Ep #139 The Acceptance Shift Model
Today, we're diving into something that's been buzzing in my mind lately—what I call The Acceptance Shift Model. This isn’t just a concept I teach; it’s something I’ve lived through in my own parenting journey. And let me tell you—it changes everything.Here’s the truth bomb:When we argue against reality, we lose 100% of the time.Acceptance gets a bad rap. A lot of us think it means giving up, being passive, or saying, “Sure, just keep tantruming forever.” But nope. That’s not it at all.True acceptance is one of the most active, intentional shifts we can make as parents.In this episode, I share:A dinner-date disaster turned transformational moment (yes, I literally covered my mouth mid-convo 😅)How acceptance rewires your brain and calms your nervous system so you can actually think clearly againWhy the “A” in my PEACE Process (Allow/Accept) is the hardest—but most transformative—stepWhat really happens when we feel our emotions (instead of overthinking them)Stories from Viktor Frankl, Nelson Mandela, and Stephen Hawking that show what powerful acceptance can look like in the most extreme human conditionsI’m also giving you six practical steps you can start using today to build your “acceptance muscle.”Think of it like emotional strength training—the more you practice, the more powerful your calm becomes.Yes, acceptance takes effort—sometimes messy, soul-searching, deep-breathing effort. But it’s the kind of effort that creates real change: ✨ More connection. ✨ Less chaos. ✨ A deeper relationship with your child—and yourself.Remember: You already have everything you need inside you. This work is just peeling back the layers so you can show up as the calm, clear, connected parent you truly are.Until next time, keep connecting 💛 —AndeeP.S. If you’ve ever preferred shocking yourself with electricity over sitting quietly with your feelings (yes, that’s a real study!), you are exactly who this episode is for. 😉Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs My IG: https://cmp.works/ista
Acerca de Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting
Parenting advice on-the-go, with fun episodes that will make you laugh, cry, and feel better armed to be the parent you want to be! No punishments, rewards, or ultimatums required. (they’re actually discouraged).Join your host Andee Martineau, founder of the breakthrough parenting framework Connect Method Parenting, as she helps parents discover why their kids don’t listen and shows them the step-by-step process of regaining influence and building relationships that will last a lifetime!
Escucha Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting, Cuenta el Cuento que Te Cuento y muchos más podcasts de todo el mundo con la aplicación de radio.net
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