No Guilt Mom | Overcoming Mom Guilt, Parenting Tips, & Self Care for Moms

We’ve been taught that being hard on ourselves makes us better.

That if we just try harder, stay consistent enough, hold higher standards, and push through the exhaustion, we’ll finally feel like we’re doing this parenting thing right.

But what if that constant self-criticism is the very thing burning you out?

In this episode, I talk with Dr. D. Ivan Young about why self-compassion isn’t weakness — it’s emotional intelligence. And how misused empathy, especially toward yourself, creates resentment, over-functioning, and disconnection in your home.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, reactive, or stuck in your head replaying everything you did “wrong,” this conversation will connect the dots between your internal self-talk and the emotional tone of your entire family.

Empathy is powerful — but when it’s weaponized against yourself, it becomes harmful.

Refusing to give yourself grace

Believing you should always do more

Never allowing yourself to be human

A lack of self-compassion doesn’t stay internal. It spills into your relationships as snapping, resentment, emotional withdrawal, and chronic over-functioning.

You cannot pour empathy outward when you’re withholding it inward.

The “Obnoxious Self” vs. Your Wise Self

Dr. Young describes the “obnoxious self” as the internal voice that constantly criticizes and second-guesses:

“You should’ve done better.”

“Why can’t you handle this?”

“Other moms don’t struggle like this.”

This voice keeps you stuck in fight-or-flight mode. Practicing self-empathy helps you shift into your grounded, intentional self — the part of you capable of emotional intelligence and thoughtful parenting.

The Security Guard vs. CEO Brain

When you’re triggered, your amygdala — the “security guard” — takes over and locks your CEO (your prefrontal cortex) away.

Your CEO is where:

Emotional intelligence lives

Curiosity lives

Intentional parenting lives

Self-compassion helps bring your CEO back online so you can respond instead of react.

Over-Functioning as a Dysfunctional Normal

Many overwhelmed moms live in constant over-functioning:

Anticipating everything

Fixing everything

Managing everyone’s emotions

While it feels responsible, over-functioning slowly pulls you away from authentic alignment — accepting your humanity and setting boundaries that protect your psychological safety.

Self-neglect doesn’t just hurt you. It impacts your marriage and your children’s emotional development.

Emotional Intelligence in Real-Life Conflict

We also discuss practical tools you can use immediately:

How pitch, tone, and facial expression regulate nervous systems

Why moods are contagious and your presence sets the emotional temperature of your home

A phrase introverts can use to speak up without escalating conflict: “I’ve been listening to everything you’re saying. May I share my perspective?”

Emotional intelligence isn’t about controlling others. It’s about regulating yourself first.

About Dr. D. Ivan Young

Dr. D. Ivan Young is an ICF Master Certified Coach and author of Leading from the Heart. He has spent over two decades working at the intersection of behavioral neuroscience and human connection. After navigating a stage four cancer diagnosis, he deepened his research into resilience, identity, and the internal battle between the omniscient self and the obnoxious self.

His work reframes self-compassion as essential to resilience, leadership, and emotional intelligence.

Resources Mentioned

Leading from the Heart by Dr. D. Ivan Young

Connect with Dr. D. Ivan Young on LinkedIN

The Best Mom’s a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn
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It’s easy to look at a report card and feel like you’re getting a clear answer.

Are they doing well? Are they “on track”? Are you doing enough as a mom?

Because when those grades look good, there’s a sense of relief. Like… okay, we’re fine.

But what if those grades aren’t telling the whole story?

In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Deborah Kenny, founder of Harlem Village Academies and author of The Well-Educated Child, to talk about what actually prepares kids for the real world—and why so many of us have been taught to focus on the wrong things.

What you’ll learn in this episode

The three key pillars of a truly well-educated child—and why grades are just a small piece of the puzzle

Why traditional school success like test scores and memorization doesn’t always translate into real-world skills

How to build your child’s attention span in a world full of distractions—and why reading matters more than ever

The role of parental involvement in education—and how small shifts at home can make a big impact

Practical ways to help your child develop independence, motivation, and follow-through without constant reminders

Why this matters

So many overwhelmed moms are carrying the pressure of “getting it right” when it comes to their kids’ education.

Checking homework. Monitoring grades. Pushing for better performance.

And yet even with all that effort, it can still feel like your child is unmotivated, distracted, or just going through the motions.

That’s because real-world readiness isn’t built through pressure—it’s built through skills like critical thinking, independence, and purpose.

When we shift our focus from just “How are they performing?” to “Who are they becoming?” we start to support the kind of growth that lasts.

Resources mentioned

The Well-Educated Child by Dr. Deborah Kenny

Harlem Village Academies

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

This episode is a powerful reminder that good grades can matter, but they are not the whole picture. What matters most is helping kids become thoughtful, motivated, capable people who know how to think, solve problems, and engage with the world around them.
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Split shift parenting sounds like the answer so many overwhelmed moms have been searching for. Clear roles. Built-in breaks. Finally feeling like you’re not “on” all the time.

But if you’ve tried it—or even just thought about it—you might already feel the gap. Because even when time is divided, the mental load usually isn’t. And that’s where the real exhaustion is coming from.

In this episode, we’re breaking down why split shift parenting feels so appealing, why it often doesn’t solve parenting burnout, and what actually creates lasting relief in your home.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

What split shift parenting is and why it’s gaining popularity among overwhelmed moms

The difference between sharing time and sharing responsibility in parenting

Why you can still feel like the default parent—even when you’re technically “off duty”

How the invisible mental load continues to drive burnout

A more sustainable way to divide responsibilities so you can finally feel real support


Why This Matters

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much help you get, you’re still the one holding everything together, you’re not imagining it.

Parenting burnout isn’t just about doing too much—it’s about being the one who has to think about everything.

When you shift from dividing time to truly sharing ownership, you create space in your mind, not just your schedule. And that’s what allows you to feel supported, present, and less overwhelmed in your everyday life.

Resources Mentioned

Book: The Best Mom is a Happy Mom by JoAnn Crohn

No Guilt Mom Podcast: How Unicorn Space Will Bring You Back to Life with Eve Rodsky

No Guilt Mom Podcast: 4 Toxic Time Messages We Tell Ourselves with Eve Rodsky

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Overthinking your parenting decisions? Replaying conversations in your head at night? Wondering if you handled that moment “the right way”?

You’re not alone—and you’re definitely not broken.

In this episode, I’m joined by Gwenna Laithland, author of Thinky Thoughts, to talk about what’s really going on in that busy, overthinking brain of yours. Because what if all that mental spiraling isn’t a flaw… but actually a sign that you care deeply—and a tool you can learn to use?

Gwenna shares how her own “thinky thoughts” shaped her parenting, her healing journey, and the way she shows up for her kids today. We get into the messy, honest reality of adulting, why so many of us feel like we’re still figuring it out as we go, and how overthinking can actually lead to more intentional, connected parenting.

If you’ve ever questioned yourself as a mom, this conversation will feel like a deep exhale.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Why overthinking doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re paying attention

How childhood experiences shape the way we react as parents

The difference between guiding your child and shaming them

Why “doing better” in parenting starts with understanding yourself

How overthinking can actually help you become a more responsive, intentional parent

The truth about adulting (hint: most of us are figuring it out as we go)

Why This Episode Matters

So many overwhelmed moms carry the quiet belief that if they just thought less, worried less, or reacted less, they’d finally be a “better” parent.

But the truth is, your brain isn’t the problem.

That constant thinking often comes from a place of wanting to get it right, to break old patterns, and to give your kids something different than what you had.

This episode reframes overthinking as something you can work with instead of something you need to fix, so you can move out of self-doubt and into more confident, connected parenting.

Resources Mentioned:

Thinky Thoughts by Gwenna Laithland

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If you’ve ever tried gentle parenting and thought… why isn’t this working? — you are not alone.

So many moms are doing their best to stay calm, validate emotions, and avoid yelling… yet still feel like their kids are pushing limits, ignoring them, or completely running the show.

And that’s where the frustration starts to creep in.

In this episode, we’re breaking down what’s actually happening when gentle parenting feels ineffective—and why the issue isn’t you.

Because the truth is, gentle parenting isn’t the problem.

The confusion around it is.

You’ll learn how gentle parenting is often mistaken for permissive parenting (and why that shift changes everything), what kids really need to thrive, and how to raise emotionally intelligent kids without losing your boundaries in the process.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

The 4 parenting styles (and where gentle parenting actually fits)

The key difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting

Why lack of structure leads to more power struggles—not fewer

How to use natural consequences to teach responsibility (without punishment)

What emotional intelligence really looks like in kids

How to validate your child’s feelings while still holding firm boundaries

Real-life examples of how to respond when kids push back

Why This Matters

When gentle parenting is misunderstood, it can leave you feeling like you’re failing—even when you’re trying harder than ever.

But kids don’t just need connection.
They need structure, consistency, and clear expectations too.

When you combine emotional intelligence with strong boundaries, that’s when things start to shift.

That’s when you raise kids who are confident, respectful, and able to handle real-world challenges—without you feeling like you have to do everything for them.

Resources Mentioned

Calm Conversations Mini Course
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