The ADHD Parenting Podcast

In this episode, Ryan and Mike take on one of the most hotly debated topics in the ADHD parenting space: do kids with ADHD actually need consequences? Social media influencers say no — just connection, co-regulation, and emotional validation. Ryan and Mike push back hard with decades of research showing the opposite: ADHD is a disorder of performance, not knowledge, meaning behavior is governed by immediate consequences far more than by understanding or insight, and kids with ADHD need more consequences, not fewer — clearer, more consistent, and delivered in the moment. They also dismantle popular labels being used to justify removing consequences altogether — masking, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), pathological demand avoidance (PDA), and vague "nervous system disorder" language — and explain why these frameworks, however emotionally compelling, leave parents stuck without real strategies. The takeaway: authoritative parenting, warmth plus structure, is what the evidence supports, and parents can step into that authority with confidence.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:39] Research vs. Social Media Parenting Myths
[00:02:41] ADHD as a Disorder of Performance, Not Knowledge
[00:04:21] Connection Is Not the Problem
[00:07:39] Why Parents Are Over-Connecting and Over-Functioning
[00:08:48] Authoritative Parenting: Warmth Plus Structure
[00:11:08] Feelings Talk vs. Behavior Change
[00:13:53] Why Therapy Alone Doesn't Work for ADHD
[00:15:10] Masking, RSD, PDA, and Nervous System Labels Debunked
[00:19:03] Real Reasons Kids Act Out at Home
[00:20:31] Help vs. a Hug: What Parents Actually Need
[00:21:09] Act Don't Yak: What Keeps Parents Stuck
[00:23:41] The Bottom Line on Consequences and Praise
[00:25:05] School Accountability and the Principal Strategy

Research Citations:

Wolraich, M. L., Hagan, J. F., Allan, C., et al. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528.
Doffer, D. P. A., et al. (2023). Sustained improvements by behavioural parent training for children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A meta-analytic review of longer-term child and parental outcomes. JCPP Advances, 3(4).
Dekkers, T. J., Hornstra, R., van der Oord, S., et al. (2022). Meta-analysis: Which components of parent training work for children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder? Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
Luman, M., van Meel, C. S., Oosterlaan, J., & Geurts, H. M. (2009). Are ADHD symptoms associated with delay aversion after controlling for neuropsychological functioning? Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 37, 587–598.
Hulsbosch, A. K., et al. (2024). Behavioral and emotional responding to punishment in ADHD.

Today's episode is a re-release of Episode 43, because the message is just that important.

In this episode of The ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan Wexelblatt and Mike McLeod explore what it means to “step into your parental authority.” Drawing from research and clinical experience, they discuss how authoritative parenting—balancing warmth with structure—helps children with ADHD develop self-regulation, emotional safety, and independence. The hosts challenge social media’s rebranding of permissive parenting as “gentle” or “compassionate” and explain why consistency, clear expectations, and calm modeling are key. They also tackle the fears many parents have about being “too firm,” offering practical examples of how to set limits with empathy and predictability while nurturing connection and confidence in their children.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, Mike and Ryan answer several listener questions about common challenges parents face when raising children with ADHD. They discuss why some children struggle to initiate friendships despite wanting them, the role of social anxiety and executive functioning in social behavior, and why screen time can reinforce avoidance of real-world interaction. The hosts also address sibling conflict when children are at different developmental stages, explain why brain scans and “types of ADHD” promoted by certain authors lack scientific support, and offer strategies for parents dealing with teens who claim to feel sick to avoid responsibilities.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:01:01] Podcast Intro And Updates
[00:04:10] Question: Child Struggles Making Friends
[00:09:00] Social Anxiety And ADHD
[00:13:00] Path Of Least Resistance Brain
[00:15:55] Sibling Conflict And Age Gaps
[00:23:20] Brain Scans And ADHD Myths
[00:28:55] Teen Avoidance And “Feeling Sick”

In this episode, Ryan and Mike discuss how screen time impacts the executive functioning skills already delayed in kids with ADHD — things like impulse control, attention shifting, and cognitive flexibility. They challenge the popular online messaging that frames screens as "social" or "regulating" for neurodivergent kids, arguing that these messages make parents feel better but don't actually build skills in children. They also cover practical advice for managing school-issued devices, why parents don't need their child's buy-in to set screen limits, and why short-term calm from screens comes at the cost of long-term development.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:34] Screen Time Realities for Working Parents
[00:03:44] The 2025 Longitudinal Brain Study
[00:04:28] How Screens Alter Executive Function Development
[00:05:45] Why In-Person Interaction Builds Skills
[00:08:05] The Myth That Screens Are Social
[00:10:19] Why "Screens Are Regulating" Appeals to Parents
[00:11:30] Your Child Is Not Your Co-Parent
[00:14:13] Addressing Screen Use on School Devices
[00:16:20] Best Predictors of Future Success
[00:17:51] Key Takeaways and Closing Thoughts

CITATIONS:

Shou, Q., Yamashita, M., & Mizuno, Y. (2025). Association of screen time with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder symptoms and their development: The mediating role of brain structure. Translational Psychiatry, 15, Article 447.
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64, 135–168.
Diamond, A., & Ling, D. S. (2016). Conclusions about interventions, programs, and approaches for improving executive functions that appear justified and those that do not. Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, 18, 34–48.
Doebel, S. (2020). Rethinking executive function and its development. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(4), 942–956.
Nigg, J. T. (2017). Annual research review: On the relations among self-regulation, self-control, executive functioning, effortful control, cognitive control, impulsivity, risk-taking, and inhibition for developmental psychopathology. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 58(4), 361–383.

In this episode, Mike and Ryan walk through the core questions parents often ask about independence, responsibility, and executive functioning in kids with ADHD—using the framework developed in Mike’s recent book and workbook.
Rather than focusing on behavior management or short-term strategies, the conversation centers on how internal skills develop over time and how parents can support that development in realistic, age-appropriate ways.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:03:33] Executive Functioning Playbook Framework
[00:07:00] Internal Skills Vs Behavior
[00:12:55] Self-Awareness, Social Skills, Screens
[00:16:57] Motivation, Burnout, Expectations
[00:18:40] Mental Movies And Self-Evaluation