What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.

What do we do when one of our kid's moods is affecting everyone else in the house? Whether it's anxiety, frustration, rigidity, or plain old temper tantrums, understanding where it's coming from is the first step. But even when we don't allow emotions to be an excuse poor behavior, that misbehavior can happen anyhow—and walking on eggshells is no way to teach the dysregulated person better emotional skills.

In this episode, we discuss:

the sometimes hidden needs of the other kids in the house

why "fair" is not the same thing as "equal"

the single most important factor for positive family well-being

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Our episode ⁠"When One of Our Kids Is Taking All Our Bandwidth"⁠

Nicole Schwarz for ⁠imperfectfamilies.com⁠: ⁠When The Siblings of a Difficult Child Feel Ignored⁠

Leigh Anderson for Lifehacker: ⁠What to Do If Your Child's Behavior Is Ruining Your Relationship With Your Partner⁠

Pamela Li for Parenting for Bain: ⁠Emotional Regulation in Children | A Complete Guide⁠

Jane Indergaard for ADHD Newsstand: ⁠It's Never About Me: The Hidden Needs of Siblings⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
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How much of your time is actually going toward what matters most to you? Career expert and author Fran Hauser joins us to talk about her new book, 20 MINUTES IS THE NEW HOUR, and how women can rethink their relationship with time.

We discuss:

The “four Ps” that can quietly consume our time: perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and padding

Applying these ideas to family life

How a “to-don't” list can help you get your priorities in order

The difference between chronos (clock and calendar time) and kairos (the quality and experience of time)

Here's where you can find Fran:

https://franhauser.com

@fran_hauser on IG and Threads

Buy 20 MINUTES IS THE NEW HOUR from Bedford Books: https://www.bedfordbooks.shop/store/p/20minutes

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We want our kids to grow and stretch their wings, but that doesn't mean every milestone is easy for parents. We talk about the complicated emotions that come with parenting transitions, from starting school to getting a driver's license to moving into a first apartment.

We discuss:

Why a child's growing independence can bring sadness, anxiety, nostalgia, and even a loss of identity for parents

The "second arrow of suffering," aka beating yourself up for having perfectly normal feelings about your kids' milestones

How to talk about your emotions without making your child responsible for them

Practical ways to navigate difficult transitions during parenting

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

CDC: Tips for Encouraging Independence

Collischon, Matthias, et. al for the Advances in Life Course research Journal: Parental well-being when children move out: A panel study on short- and long-term effects

American Psychological Association: Parents and caregivers are essential to children’s healthy development

Hartanto, Andree, et. al for the Communications Psychology Journal:
Cultural contexts differentially shape parents’ loneliness and wellbeing during the empty nest period

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series is all about reducing the friction between ourselves and our kids when trying to communicate with them, whether it's yelling less, finding real reasons for constant defiance, or picking our battles.

Why do formerly-sunny kids turn overnight into little tornadoes of defiance and aggression? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group:

My four-year-old daughter has recently developed a special, defiant, boundary-testing, aggressive version of herself that she saves only for me. I can’t make sense of it at all. WFH, send help!

In this episode, we explain why

these sudden onsets of periods of dysregulation are completely normal

almost every kid will go through this—and a lot of four-year-olds, although not they do not have exclusive ownership of this sort of behavior

and why most kids alternate between periods of regulation and dysregulation repeatedly as they grow and mature.

These difficult stretches don't mean you're doing anything wrong as a parent. They don't mean you need to lock everything down because your kid will be a tornado forever. But they also don't mean mean you need to become the 24/7 punching bag for your dysregulated kid. Here's what to do instead.

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Rebecca Onion for Slate: ⁠Why These Child Psych Books From the 1980s Are All Over Parenting Facebook Groups Today⁠

Allana Robinson for Mom Halo: ⁠Here's why your 4 year old's behaviour is out of control⁠

Uncommon Sense Parenting with Allana Robinson: ⁠What Exactly Is Stress?⁠

Louise Bates Ames: ⁠Your Four-Year-Old: Wild and Wonderful⁠

Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to https://heypolo.com/hell or use code HELL and get 70% off your first year!

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do ordinary sounds like chewing, slurping, or pen-tapping trigger intense averse reactions in some people? And what does a parent do when it's her own kid screaming at her for having a case of the sniffles?

Clinical psychologist Dr. Thomas W. Phelan, author of STOP THAT CHEWING! joins Amy to explain the neurophysiological underpinnings of misophonia, why it can be so difficult for sufferers and their families, and how to stop this involuntary response from completely disrupting your family life.

Dr. Phelan and Amy discuss:

Why anxiety, OCD, ARFID, and other neurological manifestations often accompany misophonia

Why siblings and parents (especially fathers) are most likely to be triggers

The impact of misophonia on relationships, school, work, and social life

Practical ways to manage misophonia triggers and work towards sustainable solutions

Here's where you can find Dr. Phelan:

https://www.123magic.com

https://stopthatchewing.com

Buy STOP THAT CHEWING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9798995697824

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices