What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our previous episodes about dynamics with our parenting partners.

Do you feel like the odd parent out in your house? Or do your kids want only you to do everything with them all the time? A listener in ⁠our Facebook group⁠ asked:

"Is there an episode about one parent having a very different relationship with a child than the other parent? My 12yo and I seem to have a pretty functional (not perfect) relationship, but he and my hubs seem to end up arguing constantly. Thought at first it was a phase, but if it is, it’s a LOOOOONG one. Would love some perspective on this!"

Margaret and Amy discuss:

How preferential treatment plays out in younger vs. older kids

Why kids save their worst behavior for their primary caregiver

Which one of them is conflict-averse and who's conflict-attracted (one guess which is which)

Preferring one parent over the other can be developmentally appropriate, but there are times when ganging up on one parent can become too much and needs some course correction.

Links!

Our episode "⁠When Kids Prefer the Other Parent Over You (Or You Over Them)"⁠

Ryan C. Martin for McSweeney's: "⁠GOOD PARENTS CAPITALIZE ON THEIR INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS. MY WIFE’S IS SEEING TO OUR KIDS’ EVERY NEED, AND MINE IS ROUGHHOUSING⁠"

Marni Feuerman for VeryWell Family: ⁠"How to Cope With Parenting Differences"⁠

Mariah Maddox for Motherly: ⁠"If your kids act differently with you than dad, you’re not imagining it"⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if kids didn't need chore charts and constant supervision in order to participate in the lives of their households? What if the "mental load" was seen as a family-wide issue, where everyone could contribute to the solution?

Sam Kelly, creator of the "Notice and Do" method and author of the new book NOTICE AND DO: Raise Capable Kids, End Motherhood Burnout, and Lighten Your Mental Load, is here to tell us there's another way.

Amy and Sam discuss:

The "delegator trap"—why constantly assigning tasks keeps moms responsible for the "noticing"

Using a "learning ladder" to teach kids of all ages how to take over household tasks, step by step

Handling the pushback you might receive as you roll out the "notice and do" method

How kids who "notice and do" have agency and take initiative beyond the walls of your home

Here's where you can find Sam:

https://hellosamkelly.com

@samkelly_world on IG

Buy NOTICE AND DO: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063460911

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What have 10 years of doing this podcast taught us about being better parents? In this, our 1,000th episode(!), we look back at the biggest parenting lessons we’ve learned from a decade of conversing with guests, listeners, and each other.

Thank you for listening and being on this parenting journey with us!

We also reference some of our favorite interviews:

our Fresh Take interview with Dr. Siggie Cohen

our Fresh Take interview with Dr. Lynyetta Willis

our Fresh Take interview with KC Davis

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our previous episodes about dynamics with our parenting partners.

We asked the listeners in ⁠our Facebook group⁠ about all the times they caught their spouses being awesome, and here are just a few: supporting their partners through difficult career choices. Reading up on issues that affect their kids. Learning how to do their kids' hair.

Awesome parenting partners, all!

Here are links to the resources mentioned in the episode:

⁠"Flying the Coop" episode from Reply All podcast⁠ (Margaret's rec)

⁠Our Fresh Take episode with Matthew Fray on Strengthening Our Relationships⁠

⁠The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children⁠, by Ross Greene

⁠Check out our merch!⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Trigger warning: On today's episode we will be discussing pregnancy loss, abortion, and maternal death. Please be advised if those topics are difficult for you.

What happens when pregnancy complications become a life-threatening emergency? Margaret’s sister Anne joins us to share her powerful story of nearly dying from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy.

Margaret and Anne discuss:

What an ectopic pregnancy is and why it can become life-threatening

How Anne's experience connects to the current landscape of abortion restrictions

The challenges doctors may face when treating ectopic pregnancies and other pregnancy emergencies, given current abortion bans

Why policies made far from the exam room can have profound consequences for women and their doctors

Here is the ProPublica article referenced in the episode, by Andrea Suozzo and Agnel Philip: Ectopic Pregnancy Deaths Have Nearly Doubled. It’s Worse in States With Abortion Bans.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices