Good Life Project

You can be deeply loved and still feel alone, even when your life is filled with people who care about you.

Many of us assume that love automatically translates into feeling loved. But research shows that isn’t how it works. In this conversation, we explore why connection can be present, yet the feeling of being loved never quite lands and what actually helps close that gap.

My guest is Harry Reis, a longtime researcher of close relationships and professor of psychology whose work has shaped how we understand intimacy, attachment, and emotional connection. He’s the co-author of How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• A powerful relational dynamic that quietly determines whether love is felt or missed
• The subtle reason giving more doesn’t always lead to feeling more connected
• A listening shift that dramatically deepens intimacy without forcing vulnerability
• Why being fully known matters more than being widely liked
• The mindset that helps love feel genuine instead of performative

If you’ve ever wondered why closeness feels harder than it should or why love doesn’t always register even when it’s present, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical insight. Press play to learn what actually helps love land.

You can find Harry at: Website | Harry's Bio | Episode Transcript

Next week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Lucy Kalanithi about what still matters when certainty disappears.

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What if chronic pain was caused by faulty wiring in your brain?

And that one shift in understanding can open the door to relief many people never thought was possible.

Chronic pain affects tens of millions, disrupts relationships, limits work, and quietly erodes joy. Yet for many, scans, surgeries, and medications never bring lasting relief. In this conversation, we explore why pain can persist long after the body has healed and what helps the brain finally stand down.

My guest is Yoni K. Ashar, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus and director of the Pain and Emotion Research Laboratory. His research uses brain imaging and clinical neuroscience to study chronic pain recovery, with a focus on Pain Reprocessing Therapy.

In this episode, you’ll learn
A key signal that reveals when pain is driven by the brain, not injury
A simple shift that helps interrupt the pain–fear cycle
Why imaging findings can distract from the true source of pain
How the right kind of gradual exposure retrains the brain to feel safe again
What decades of pain research reveal about lasting recovery
Why we’ve gotten pain wrong for so long, and how to get it right

If you’ve tried everything and still hurt, this conversation may offer a new way to understand your pain and a path toward relief. Press play to learn how unlearning pain may be possible.

You can find Yoni at: Website | Episode Transcript

Next week, we're sharing a really meaningful conversation with Harry Reis about why love doesn't always land, even when it's real.

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You could be having better sex and the science explains why, not because you’re broken or doing something wrong, but because most of us were never taught how desire actually works or how intimacy evolves over time. Instead, we’re handed myths, silence, and a lot of quiet frustration.

In this conversation, we explore why great sex is not something that just happens, but something you can learn, practice, and grow into at any stage of life. We talk about desire, pleasure, communication, midlife shifts, and how letting go of shame opens the door to intimacy that feels more alive, connected, and satisfying.

Dr. Nicole McNichols is an internationally renowned human sexuality professor at the University of Washington, where her course The Diversity of Human Sexuality is the most popular in the school’s history. She is also the author of You Could Be Having Better Sex, out February 3.

In this episode, you’ll discover
A simple mindset shift that makes sex more fulfilling over time
Why novelty matters more than frequency and how to add it without pressure
The overlooked role pleasure plays in mental health and resilience
What actually helps desire return in long-term relationships
A healthier way to talk about sex that builds trust and connection

If sex has started to feel confusing, disconnected, or quietly disappointing, this episode offers a grounded, research-backed way forward. Press play to learn how intimacy can become something you grow into rather than drift away from.

You can find Nicole at: Website | Instagram | Episode Transcript

If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Emily Nagoski about the science of pleasure and sustaining sexual connection.

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If your life looks good on paper but feels flat, this is for you.

Many of us follow the rules, build what appear to be successful lives, and still sense something essential is missing. That feeling sends us on a chase for more meaning or purpose, impact and clarity. But, what if the way we seek them is all wrong, and actually makes us less happy, content and alive, not more?

In today’s conversation, we explore a radically different way to think about meaning, one rooted in aliveness, presence, and becoming rather than achievement, impact, mattering, or outcomes.

My partner in conversation is Dave Evans, the coauthor of the New York Times number one bestseller Designing Your Life, cofounder of the Stanford Life Design Lab, and author of the new book How to Live a Meaningful Life. I’ve known Dave for years now, and he’s spent decades helping people redesign work, identity, and daily living in ways that feel deeply human.

In this episode, you’ll discover:
Why fulfillment and impact often become dead ends rather than answers
A simple shift that helps you feel more alive without changing your circumstances
Four overlooked sources of meaning that most people rarely access
How to move fluidly between getting things done and actually being present
A practical way to experience wonder, flow, coherence, and connection in everyday moments

If you’ve ever wondered why a life that looks good can still feel unsatisfying, this conversation offers a grounded and hopeful reframe. Press play to explore a more livable path to meaning.

You can find Dave at: Website | Instagram | Episode Transcript

If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Dan Pink about regret, reflection, and using inner signals to guide a more meaningful life.

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Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the Wheel
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It's said, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. But, is that true? Many of us live our lives in pursuit of certainty, believing that if we could just get things more stable - emotionally, financially, relationally - then we’d finally feel at ease. We wouldn't struggle with anxiety, stress, and fear. we wouldn't suffer so much. Problem is, that approach often deepens our suffering, rather than relieves it. Maybe you've felt this very thing.

In this powerful episode on healing and resilience and how to relieve suffering, Jonathan sits down with Dr. Suzan Song, a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist, humanitarian researcher, and author of the new book Why We Suffer and How We Heal. Dr. Song has spent decades working with individuals and communities living through profound instability, revealing a gentler, more honest reframe: healing, lessening suffering, doesn’t come from chasing certainty and stability, but from learning how to relate differently to the inevitability of pain, uncertainty, and change.

In this conversation, discover:

Why pain is inevitable, but suffering often grows from the stories we tell.
The hidden role of our nervous system and memory in shaping our experience of hardship.
The power of ritual—not as performance, but as a path to emotional grounding and resilience.
What purpose really is, and why it’s often already present, woven into our lives through mattering.
How genuine healing happens in relationship, not in isolation, transforming our approach to mental health.

This is an invitation to stop blaming yourself for not feeling satisfied, let go of suffering, and remember that you don’t have to navigate life’s instabilities alone. Sometimes, relief comes not from doing more, but from allowing yourself to feel everything, then learn how to live with the truth of uncertainty in a world that will never stop changing.

You can find Suzan at: Website | Linkedin | Episode Transcript

If you LOVED this episode, you’ll also love the conversations we had with Adam Grant about rethinking beliefs and inner patterns.

Check out our offerings & partners:
Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the Wheel
Visit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.