Daily Jewish Thought

In this Shabbat Shuva sermon, delivered by Rabbi Yisroel Bernath at Chabad NDG in Montreal, we explore a surprising question: Why are people able to experience happiness even when life is difficult?

Looking at Israel’s remarkable longevity, strong family culture, and consistently high levels of reported happiness, the answer may have less to do with comfort and more to do with connection, community, meaning, and knowing that you are part of something larger than yourself.

Rabbi Bernath connects this idea to the Rebbe’s Twelve Pesukim, teachings the Rebbe wanted every Jewish child to carry within them: Torah belongs to you, G-d is present, every person has a mission, loving another Jew matters, success requires effort, and ultimately, your life has a purpose that brings joy to G-d Himself.

On the Shabbat before Yom Kippur, the message becomes especially powerful: happiness does not mean having a life without pain, uncertainty, mistakes, or struggle. It means waking up knowing that your life matters, your choices matter, and you are part of G-d’s unfolding purpose in this world.

Key Points
-Happiness is not the absence of problems. A meaningful life can contain struggle and still be deeply joyful.
-We need people. Knowing there are people who will show up for us can be more powerful than simply having an easy life.
-Family and community create meaning. Sometimes the chaos is worth it because of the moments when we realize we belong to something larger than ourselves.
-Judaism is your inheritance. Torah does not belong only to rabbis, scholars, or “more religious” Jews. It belongs to every Jew.
-There are no shortcuts to growth. Real achievement requires effort, persistence, and showing up again.
-Your life has a mission. Judaism teaches that we are here to transform ourselves, our homes, and our world into a dwelling place for G-d.
-That may be the deepest definition of happiness: knowing that your existence is not accidental and that what you do with your life matters.
Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6
Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhV

Support the show
Got your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at rabbi@jewishndg.com or http://www.theloverabbi.com

Single? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.

Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donate

Follow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernath

Access Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

What would your life look like if you stopped waiting for an apology, stopped replaying the hurt, and stopped allowing yesterday’s pain to occupy today’s heart?
In this deeply personal and practical talk, delivered at JLI’s 20th Annual National Jewish Retreat in Doral, Florida, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores forgiveness not as a one-time declaration, but as a spiritual practice of reclaiming your life. 
Drawing on the biblical story of Joseph, an ancient teaching about Rabbi Abba, Jewish bedtime prayer, and lessons from his book The Forgiveness Experiment, Rabbi Bernath challenges the idea that forgiveness means excusing wrongdoing or abandoning boundaries. Instead, forgiveness means refusing to give the person who hurt you authorship over the rest of your story. 
Through practical exercises, humor, meditation, and Jewish wisdom, the talk offers a path for separating what belongs to you, what belongs to the person who hurt you, and what ultimately belongs to G-d. The goal is not to erase the past, but to stop demanding that the past become different so that the future can finally become different. 
Ultimately, Rabbi Bernath argues that forgiveness is less about setting someone else free and more about becoming fully present again—to your relationships, your joy, your faith, and the life still waiting to be written. 
Key Points
- Forgiveness is not approval. You can forgive someone while still acknowledging the wrong, maintaining boundaries, refusing reconciliation, or even keeping them out of your life. 
- Stop waiting for the person who hurt you to become the person who heals you. Waiting for the apology, admission, or validation can keep your life emotionally tied to the past. 
- Take back the pen. Joseph’s story teaches that another person may have created a painful chapter, but they do not get to become the author of your identity or destiny. 
- Pain does not need to be called “good.” Jewish faith does not require minimizing suffering. Something meaningful can emerge from what you choose to do next without pretending the wound itself was a blessing.
- Learn what belongs in your department. Rabbi Bernath’s “Forgiveness Inventory” separates life into three categories: my business, their business, and G-d’s business. Healing, boundaries, choices, and apologies you owe are yours. Their remorse and growth belong to them. Ultimate justice and the full explanation belong to G-d. 
- Forgiveness can be a daily practice. The ancient Jewish bedtime forgiveness prayer offers a way to clear resentment each night rather than allowing small hurts to accumulate into permanent bitterness. 
- You do not have to forgive everything today. Sometimes the first prayer is simply, “G-d, I want to want to forgive.” Healing can happen gradually—one less replay, one softened reaction, one rock put down.
- Stop demanding a better past. The past cannot be rewritten. Forgiveness is releasing the demand that yesterday become different so that tomorrow is finally allowed to be different. 
- Resentment steals presence. Old wounds can quietly follow us into marriages, parenting, friendships, and new relationships. Forgiveness clears emotional space for the people who are actually standing in front of us. 
- Forgiveness does not mean forgetting where you have been. It means remembering where you are going. The final declaration is not, “They were right.” It is: “I am free.” 
Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6
Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhV

Support the show
Got your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at rabbi@jewishndg.com or http://www.theloverabbi.com

Single? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.

Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donate

Follow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernath

Access Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, the shofar finally sounds. Yesterday’s question was: Are you awake? Today’s question goes deeper: What are you awake for and what happens when you finally know where you want to go, but you hit a wall?

Drawing on a powerful teaching of the Baal Shem Tov, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath tells the story of people invited to visit a king. Again and again they encounter walls, obstacles, distractions, and treasures. Some turn back. Some settle for the rewards along the way. But a few keep going because they remember why they came: “I came for the King.” When they finally reach the innermost chamber and look back, they discover something astonishing: the walls were never what they appeared to be. The King had never been far away.

We all have walls: anxiety, grief, shame, resentment, fear, family struggles, illness, disappointment, self-criticism, or the belief that we should be further along by now. The Baal Shem Tov’s teaching does not deny the reality of pain. It challenges the conclusion that because life feels difficult, G-d must therefore be distant. Kabbalah teaches leit atar panui minei, there is no place devoid of Him. Even the wall itself exists within the palace. The place we imagine is separating us from G-d may be precisely the place where G-d is meeting us.

But the sermon goes one uncomfortable step further: sometimes the wall does not merely block us, it becomes our excuse not to move. Pain is real, but we can surrender our future to it by saying, “This is simply who I am,” “Nothing can change,” or “I cannot move until someone else changes first.” The alternative is not pretending we were never hurt. It is becoming a co-creator with G-d and asking: Given what happened, what do I want to create now?

The shofar becomes the perfect expression of that journey: Teki’ah - wholeness. Shevarim - brokenness. Teruah - fragments. And then another Teki’ah - wholeness again. Not because nothing happened, but because beneath everything that broke is a deeper part of the soul that never stopped belonging to the King.

Rosh Hashanah therefore asks us not to demolish every wall overnight, but simply to identify one wall and take one step. One apology. One boundary. One conversation. One mitzvah. One honest act of courage. And when the shofar sounds, hear the deeper truth: You were never outside the palace. The King was with you inside the journey all along.

Key Points
- Awakening is only the beginning. Once we know we want to change, we inevitably encounter resistance, the “wall.”
- The wall is not proof that G-d is far away. Difficulty, distraction, doubt, anxiety, grief, and spiritual struggle do not equal Divine absence.
- The wall itself is inside the palace. Since nothing exists outside G-d, even concealment exists within His presence.
- Pain is real; separation is not. The sermon carefully distinguishes between denying suffering and refusing to interpret suffering as abandonment.
- Thoughts can masquerade as reality. “I am broken,” “I’ll never change,” “I’m not good enough,” and “I’m too far gone” may feel like facts while actually functioning as walls.
- Sometimes the wall becomes an alibi. A painful story can quietly become permission not to move, grow, repair, forgive, or take responsibility.
- The opposite of Victim is Co-Creator. We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we remain partners with G-d in deciding what happens next.
- You cannot always choose what happens to you, but you can participate in what happens through you.
- You do not need to climb twenty walls today. Take one step: one apology, boundary, appointment, conversation, mitzvah, or change in how you show up.
- Success can become a wall too. Not only suffering distracts us from the King. Career, money, status, accomplishments, and even religious achievements can become “treasures” that cause us to forget why we began the journey.
- A mitzvah is not a trophy; it is a doorway. The question is not merely what we accomplished, but whether it brought us closer.

The shofar tells the story of the soul:
Teki’ah - whole.
Shevarim - broken.
Teruah - fragmented.
Teki’ah - whole again.

- Teshuvah means return. And you can only return somewhere you already belong.
- The King was never waiting at the end of the journey. G-d was present inside every step of it.
- The deepest Rosh Hashanah question becomes: What did you come for? And beneath all the noise, the neshamah answers: I came for the King.
Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6
Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhV

Support the show
Got your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at rabbi@jewishndg.com or http://www.theloverabbi.com

Single? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.

Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donate

Follow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernath

Access Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

This Rosh Hashanah begins with a strange silence: the first day falls on Shabbat, and there is no shofar. But perhaps this year, we do not need a horn to wake us up. The Jewish people are already awake, shaken by antisemitism, fear, and an intensified awareness of what it means to be Jewish.

The deeper question is no longer “Are we awake?” but “What are we awake to?” Antisemitism may remind us that we are Jews, but it cannot be allowed to define what Judaism means. We cannot let those who hate us become our rabbis, write our curriculum, or turn Jewish identity into a story only about fear and survival. Rosh Hashanah calls us to take back the pen and build a Judaism rooted not merely in defiance, but in love, Torah, mitzvos, family, joy, and connection to Hashem.

The shofar is more than an alarm clock. It is the wordless cry of the deepest soul, the prince who has wandered far from the palace, forgotten the language, and yet still remembers Home. This year, perhaps we are the shofar: a Jewish people crying out, searching, remembering, and returning.

The sermon offers three invitations: stop apologizing for being Jewish, learn what you are proud of, and teach the next generation that “S’iz gut tzu zein a Yid” - it is good to be a Jew. Ultimately, Jewish pride is not simply refusing to hide. It is discovering something about Judaism beautiful enough that we want to live it.

Key Points
-This year we are already awake. The world has shaken the Jewish soul awake, the question is what we will do with that awakening.
-Antisemitism cannot define Judaism. It may remind us that we are Jewish, but it does not get to tell us what being Jewish means.
-Take back the pen. Our Jewish story cannot be written only around persecution, fear, or survival. It must also be about what we live for.
-Jewish pride must become Jewish love. “I refuse to hide” is important, but deeper still is: “I love being Jewish.”
-The shofar is the cry of the soul. Beneath words, theology, wounds, and doubts is the etzem haneshamah, the part of us that still knows where Home is.
-Stop apologizing for being Jewish. Stand tall, not arrogantly, but without shame.
-Learn what you are proud of. You cannot deeply love a Judaism you have never taken the time to know.
-Our inheritance is more than trauma. We inherited Auschwitz, but we also inherited Sinai, Shabbat, Torah, family, faith, and light.
-Teach children that Judaism is good. Not merely “S’iz shver tzu zein a Yid” - it is hard to be a Jew, but “S’iz gut tzu zein a Yid” - it is good to be a Jew.
-We need to become the shofar. To live Jewishly with such clarity, joy, and conviction that the next generation can hear what Judaism sounds like through our lives.
Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6
Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhV

Support the show
Got your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at rabbi@jewishndg.com or http://www.theloverabbi.com

Single? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.

Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donate

Follow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernath

Access Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

Our culture often treats aging as something to resist. Judaism sees it differently: years are not merely something that happen to us; they can become a source of wisdom, purpose, and depth. Drawing on the mitzvah of shiluach hakein in Parshat Ki Teitzei, the Torah’s promise of long life, the mitzvah of honoring parents, and the Rebbe’s teachings about aging, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores what it really means to “lengthen our days.”
As Elul invites us to look back over another year, the deeper question is not simply, “How much older did I become?” but “How much deeper did I become?”
Through the moving example of Brahm and Ilana Shiller, the sermon becomes a meditation on courage, resilience, love, and living fully even when life does not unfold as we would choose. Perhaps a long life is measured not only by how many days we receive, but by how much life we put into each day.

Key Points
Judaism does not see aging as decline. Long life is a blessing, and lived experience itself carries dignity and holiness.
You can retire from a career, but never from purpose. As our stage of life changes, our mission may change with it, but our ability to matter does not disappear.
Ki Teitzei teaches us not to exploit devotion. Both shiluach hakein and honoring parents remind us to recognize and honor those whose love causes them to keep giving.
Elul is not merely about another year passing. Growing older happens automatically. Growing deeper requires choice.
Difficulty can reveal character. Real positivity is not denying pain; it is being able to say, “This is hard, and I am still going to live today.”
Courage also belongs to the person standing beside the struggle. Caregivers and spouses carry their own quiet burden of love, worry, strength, and hope.
Arichut yamim, long life, can also mean full days. A day filled with love, laughter, generosity, presence, and an open heart contains an extraordinary amount of life.
The Elul question: We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we participate in choosing who we become within what happens.

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Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:
Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638
Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6
Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhV

Support the show
Got your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at rabbi@jewishndg.com or http://www.theloverabbi.com

Single? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.

Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donate

Follow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernath

Access Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi