The Look & Sound of Leadership

A chief officer reflects on the burdens of senior leadership. While grateful for its privileges, he’s keenly aware his title can put up barriers between himself and others. 

Typical burdens of leadership:
People put up barriers because of your power;
You are a public figure and will get judged, often harshly;
You are always on display;
Feeling entitled because of your heavy lifting.

Tom suggests three tips to help you manage your power:
Get conscious about your power;
Share selectively;
Be humble.

Resources for humilty:
Humility as Strength
Humble Inquiry

If you’re like Michelle and feel yourself being star struck in the face of corporate celebrity, these episodes might help:
252 - How to Build Self-Esteem
219 - How to Set Boundaries
241 - Conquering People Pleasing

JOIN US FOR DINNER!
Tuesday, September 1, 2026, Irvine, California.
Join Tom and Coaching for Leaders host Dave Stachowiak for a lively gathering. 
Find out more and reserve your space here.

Got questions? Shoot Tom an email here.

Sign up for our monthly resources here. 

Want to explore Leadership & Power?

Related Library Categories:
Leadership
Managing Yourself
Perception – How You’re Perceived

Related Episodes
189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 
128 - The Honorable Executive
252 - How to Build Self-Esteem
210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management
231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm

A transcript of this month’s episode is here. 

Thanks for being in touch!

All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership are grateful for you!

With her company on the brink of disaster, a leader hungrily tackles the art of delegation, learning three models on the way. 
The episode frames delegation as being primarily about getting your people ready.

To get people ready, screen each delegated task against three filters:
Skills & Will – do people need training or coaching?
Control – who has it and how much?
Measurement – what is each person’s responsibility?

Our latest Tool has all three filters. Download it for free here. 

Want to strengthen your ability to talk with people about their growth and development? Listen to these episodes:
#262 – How to Grow Your People – December 2025
#212 – How to Coach Your People – October 2021
#132 – Coaching Your People – April 2015

Ready to try the Responsibility Charting exercise with your team?
Listen to the episode here.  
Download the Charting tool here.     

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

Our monthly email always has additional resources. 
Related Library Categories:
Leadership
Management Skills
Communication Skills

Related Episodes
132 - Coaching Your People
119 - Creating Devoted Followers
254 How to Talk so People Understand You 
155 - The Human Element
123 - Leadership Through Delegation

A transcript of the episode is here. 

We love hearing from you. You are the BEST AUDIENCE! 

The whole The Look & Sound of Leadership crew are grateful for you!

A chief officer finds himself repeatedly triggered by a peer. Afraid he’s going to say or do something he’ll regret, he asks his coach for tools.

Three categories of self-regulation tools:
Physical
Internal
External

A visual tool with specific tools in each category is in our Tool bin. 
Ready for coaching? Reach out to Tom here.
There are always more resources in our monthly email. 

Hear Tom’s most recent conversation on the Beyond Potential podcast here. 
Related Library Categories:
Managing Yourself
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Self-Talk

Related Episodes
216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks
109 - Building Emotional Intelligence
22 - Negative Self-Talk
171 - Taming the Wild Child – one of my favorites
96 - The Many Parts of You

A transcript of the episode is here. 

Thanks for your engagement. We love hearing from you. You all are great! 

All of us at The Look & Sound of Leadership, are grateful for you!

A brilliant but rather shy leader is challenged by her management to be bigger, more executive, speak up more. She is grateful to work with a coach.
You can build muscle around getting your voice heard by creating homework for yourself. Think of it like going to the gym: working out regularly helps you build muscle.
 
 When creating homework, ask yourself three questions:
What am I going to pay attention to?
What specific behavior am I going to start or stop?
How will I measure success? (5% improvement)

During the episode, Tom gave Neela four pieces of homework to help her get her voice heard:
Count the number of times you have an idea and choose not to say it out loud;
Listen for your self-limiting beliefs. Look for patterns that trigger them. Who are you with? What’s the setting?
In meetings, speak in the first ten minutes;
In meetings, get your name “on the record” with regularity.

Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

There are always more resources in our monthly email. 

Related Library Categories:
Developing New Behaviors
Executive Presence
For Women

Related Episodes
211 - How to Show Up
153 - Inhabiting Executive Presence 
69 - Leadership and Self-Deception
103 - Self-Awareness & Self-Management
154 - Self-Limiting Beliefs

A transcript of the episode is here. 
Thanks for subscribing to the show. And thank you so much for your reviews. You’re the best!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, we are grateful for you!

Tom interviews Dr. Lois Frankel about women in the workplace and other ideas in the just-published third edition of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office. 

Listen to the full, unedited conversation here.

Get the “Nice Girls” book, here.

If you’re curious about a chemistry call, pop Tom an email.

There are always more resources in our monthly email. 

COACHES!
You are always welcome at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. Reach out to me if you want to know more. We’d love to have you. You’ll get CCE’s, too! 

Related Library Categories:
For Women
Perception – How You Perceive Yourself
Leadership

Related Episodes
246Coaching versus Therapy
221Conflict
241 Conquering People Pleasing
222The Conflict Conversation
237Leading with Political Savvy – Part One

A transcript of the episode is here.

Thanks again for subscribing. And your reviews. You’re the best!

From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks for being such a great audience!