Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

“The gym can be a very scary place.”
Ever been intimidated by the idea of working out -- and in particular, lifting weights? Then you're in very good company. Fortunately, as fitness expert Mike Bledsoe puts it, "95% of people in the gym are also insecure."
Here we delve right into both the insecurity (and how to overcome it), as well as why Bledsoe, who has trained professional athletes, Navy SEALs, and other fitness experts, prefers to work with beginners.
We talk about how to naturally boost your T levels (easier than you think!), the specific way our physical bodies store our "stuff" (and how to move it), and how to get started if you're not sure what to do first.
We also touch on questions like:
Is keto really worth it? (What should you actually pay attention to in nutrition trends?)
How do you safely start lifting weights (without injuring yourself), especially if you're over 50?
How do you best integrate from deep emotional release work (including psychedelics) in a physical way?
What kind of stretches are best?
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Work with us
Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Mentioned on this episode:
The ELDOA method (stretching and myofascial release)

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Memorable quotes from this episode:
"I started asking, 'Why did I get injured?'
“If I’m really fit, then I’ll finally feel loved.”
“[My clients] would hide their pain from me.”
“If you want to increase your testosterone, squat heavy once a week and get in a cold plunge.”
“If you have tightness in your body, you have emotional stuff going on.”
“About half of my time spent on my body is stretching … and I don’t get hurt anymore.”
“No matter where you’re at, you require mentorship and guidance.”
“Pay attention to every single win.”

Do any of these apply to you?:
You used to have a good sex life with your partner, but now it has flatlined
You're in a sexless marriage but at a loss with respect to how to even bring this up with your woman (or you've tried in the past and it went poorly)
You fear never having passionate, connected sex again
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These are all common patterns we see in our practice.
Here we outline the 5 most common reasons we've seen for this pattern, and some stories of men who've done the work and now have vibrant, thriving sex lives. Passion is possible!
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Work with us
Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Mentioned on this episode:
DM 222: Are you using your woman for sex?
DM 217: When sex is about more than just the sex
DM 358: Do you trust men?
DM 103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple -- you need to know about this
DM 262: Are you lonely?
DM 1: What if sex hurts for your partner or she doesn't want it? A woman opens up about her experience
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Memorable quotes from this episode:
“Your relationship is flat.”
“I’m gonna ask in a way I can’t be rejected.”
“‘I tend to wait for the signal.’”
“I’ve neglected my partner before.”
“For a lot of guys, ejaculation is how they deal with tension in their bodies.”
“One of the most painful ways we’ve seen this show up is when this wasn’t clear when they got married.”
“'I want to feel your desire to be close to me, to know my heart, to know my feelings.'”
“This is her strongest aphrodisiac!”
“I’m getting off all the feelings I don’t want to feel.”
“It’s not so much what we’re doing, but how we’re being.”
“The pathway to the change you want comes from being honest.”
“It can change — that’s the good news.”

We've got close to 400 episodes, and with the new year, I felt inspired to categorize Dear Men in order to help you get the most out of it!
I've broken it down into six buckets, then listed episodes in an order I believe would be supportive to listen to:
1. Do you identify as a Nice Guy?
If you already know about Nice Guy Syndrome (perhaps you've even read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover), you'll love these. If you've not yet heard about it but your spidey sense is going off, it's probably a good time to learn more:
374: The 3 main archetypes of men. Which one are you? (ft. Jason Lange)
239: Realized I’m a "Nice Guy." Now what do I do about it? (ft. Jason Lange)
367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)
289: Do Nice Guys tend to attract volatile women? (ft. Jason Lange)
235: 'I see a beautiful woman and immediately get triggered. Why?' (ft. Jason Lange)
340: Top 3 traits we've seen Nice Guys develop to get what they want! (ft. Jason Lange)
295: Ever 'fallen into' a relationship? (ft. Jason Lange)
284: Is cheating (including emotional affairs) correlated with Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Jason Lange)
296: What does it actually mean to step into your power? (ft. Jason Lange)
315: What happens once you’ve recovered from Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)
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2. Ever been with an emotionally volatile partner?
If you've ever been with a partner who scared you, who had a lot of emotional intensity, and around whom you felt you were walking on eggshells, then it's time to understand Borderline Personality Disorder. (This could rock your world!)
319: 'My relationship is war.' (What do I do?) (Ft. Jason Lange)
128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder (ft. Violet Lange)
313: GuyTalk: Life after being with a BPD partner (Borderline Personality Disorder)
354: What’s it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder? (Pt. 1) Ft. Setareh Vatan
373: What's it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder (pt. 2) (ft. Setareh Vatan)
345: The 4 male "types" who partner with Borderline women (Borderline Personality Disorder) (ft. Violet Lange)
163: Ever had red-hot sex with someone who's bad for you? (ft. Jason Lange)
221: What's her feminine storm, and what's abuse? (ft. Violet & Jason Lange)
386: GuyTalk: How do you co-parent with a challenging partner? (including Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
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3. Are you curious about sexy time?
We have tons of fun episodes on this! Everything from sexual fantasies to episodes with erotica writers. Here's just a taste:
37: Secrets of a Sex Researcher (ft. me!)
388: GirlTalk: The reddest, hottest sex we've ever had (as women)
318: GirlTalk: Role play in sex. What's it like!?
152: GirlTalk: How to go down on a woman so she *loves* it
189: GirlTalk: Does size matter?
282: Anal sex! Yep, we’re talkin’ about it. (ft. Sara)
245: What's it like to be swingers? (ft. John & Jackie Melfi)
119: GirlTalk: Blowjobs! What we like and don't like in oral sex on men
384: What's the impact of circumcision on a man? (ft. Michael Smith, Intactivist Educator)
390: What is foreskin restoration? (ft. Bob Werner)
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4. Are you dating/wanting to date?
Whether you're wanting to "date better," or you're getting back out onto the scene after a major relationship has ended, you'll find a gem in here:
186: GirlTalk: Approaching us in the wild (the "cold approach")
220: How do I tell if she likes me? (ft. Jason Lange)
136: GuyTalk: Dating after divorce
387: GirlTalk: What inspires a woman to deeply trust a man?
360: GirlTalk: Striking while the iron is hot!
358: Do you trust men? (ft. Jason Lange)
335: Ever felt like women had a 'list' in dating & relationships? (ft. Violet Lange)
344: 3 dating myths to let go of immediately (ft. Jason Lange)
337: GirlTalk: Ever felt like she’s testing you?
341: GirlTalk: The most important relationship skill of them all
324: What does it mean to open a woman? (ft. Jason Lange)
291: Want to get better at dating? Here are 3 ways to practice with women (ft. Violet Lange)
138: GirlTalk! When should you text her vs. call her?
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5. Want to know more about trauma healing?
Eventually we all come to realize how messed up we are. ;) It is at that point that it's helpful to learn more about how to un-learn damaging patterns.
The good news is that it's never too late, and major breakthroughs are more than just possible when you put in the right effort and get the right support -- they're probable.
320: From breakdown to breakthrough: how to recover from trauma (ft. Jason Lange)
123: What exactly IS somatic therapy, and how does it differ from talk therapy? (ft. Z Zoccolante)
379: Can ketamine really treat depression (and PTSD and ADHD)? (ft. Sam Mandel)
314: Can microdosing help you develop better relationships? (ft. David Romero)
300: What's it like to do MDMA therapy with your wife? (ft. Lucas)
278: Need a breakthrough? Try breathwork. (ft. Luke Adler)
371: GuyTalk: What's it like doing in-person men's work?
150: Want a happy, healthy relationship? Ancestral trauma healing. (ft. Ben Goresky & Mark Wolynn)
166: Can psychedelics help heal you? (ft. Jason Lange)
159: It happens to boys, too. Somatic therapies to heal from sexual abuse (ft. Rahi Chun)
155: Overcome anxious/avoidant attachment with somatic therapy modality Network Spinal Analysis (ft. Dr. Matt Kreinheder)
223: Sexological bodywork, somatic sex education, and overcoming trauma (ft. Chris Muse & Alyssa Morin)
199: Want to overcome trauma quickly? De-armoring can help (ft. Sunny Ju)
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6. Are you in partnership? Learn about polarity!
If you've ever been in a sexless marriage, or a love relationship where you wished there was more sexy time happening, polarity is likely a big part of what's going on. Or even if your relationship is good and you want to take it to GREAT, this is the topic for you.
Polarity is a key concept in our work, and it is the balance between masculine and feminine energies, which we often talk about as "alpha" and "omega" energies.
380: What exactly IS polarity? (ft. Violet Lange)
394: Why is polarity so critical for attraction? (ft. Jason Lange)
292: Sex life with your wife not where you want it to be? Reverse polarity could be the culprit (ft. Violet & Jason Lange)
360: GirlTalk: Striking while the iron is hot!
357: GirlTalk: What does it mean to “claim” her (and why does she love it)?
297: The problems with polarity (ft. Jason Lange)
293: Give it to me whining! (Ft. Jason & Violet Lange)
277: Want to maximize polarity? Learn to do this well. (ft. Jason Lange)
66: GirlTalk: When men do this, we get wet.
342: Are you scared of her big feelings? This may help. (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
250: How do you re-polarize a relationship (bring back the spark)? ft. Jason Lange
322: 5 ways to polarize a powerful woman (ft. Jason Lange) [Replay]

Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like the spark had died? There's no chemistry but you're going through the motions, wishing there was more heat, more aliveness, more oomph.
If so, you might have been bumping up against the principle of polarity.

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Work with us
Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
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Mentioned on this episode:
DM 380: What exactly IS polarity?
DM 103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a couple
Dear Men 297: The problems with polarity
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Memorable quotes:

“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.”
So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness episode we're living through, according to the US Surgeon General.
We all know that loneliness sucks. Among other things, it elevates risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety (among other health concerns).
So what do we do about it? According to the Pew Research Center, around 40% of adults are un-partnered, and a recent CNN article states that close to 30% of all US households are folks living on their own. Add to this the gig economy and an increased prevalence of workplaces that are entirely online, and you've got a major societal issue.
Living in community is one way of coming together, having more fun, getting more practical support, and strengthening the overall social fabric of your life.
Here, I get personal. I myself live in a coliving situation with six other friends. In this episode we delve into questions like:
What was your life like before living in community, and what motivated you to seek out a community living situation?
Anything you were hesitant about when it came to living in community?
What needs of yours are met by living in community? What challenges have you found in it?
How has living in community impacted your love relationship (if you’re in one)? 
What advice do you have for others who are considering living in community?
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Memorable quotes:
“It seemed like a good healthy risk.”
“I don’t have coworkers, so the vast majority of my sustaining social connection comes from this house.”
“It's special to have built-in friends.”
“One hesitation for me was that everything wasn’t going to be accessible to me 100% of the time in exactly the way I’d want.”
“Living with people helps me with being open to receiving.”
“It’s more isolating when you’re living in a home with just your partner.”
“It's great having that space to be received and seen by others.”
“It requires vulnerability and communication.”
“It’s very lively!”
“A better version of me lives when I live in community.” 
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Mentioned on this episode:
Nesterly: Share a home with someone you can trust for over 1 month stays. Renters can lend a hand for discounted rent.
CoHoUS (The Cohousing Institute of the United States): A resource with courses as well as online social gatherings for those interested in cohousing and coliving