Catholic Women Now

What temperance actually is
Julie Nelson opens by admitting her first mental image of temperance was a fire-and-brimstone preacher dumping cigarettes and liquor into the river. Chris Magruder says that's exactly the misunderstanding worth correcting. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 1809) describes temperance as the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures, provides balance in the use of created goods, and ensures the will's mastery over instincts. It is one of the four cardinal virtues alongside prudence, fortitude and justice. Chris points to a helpful image from the Catholic Diocese of Tyler: temperance works like a thermostat — too far one direction and it's too hot, too far the other and it's too cold. The goal is the right measure, not elimination.
Temperance in Scripture
The word itself doesn't appear the way listeners might expect. In the Old Testament, Chris notes, the language is about restraining appetites and avoiding base desires. In the New Testament, it shows up as moderation and sobriety. The virtue is there throughout, even when the vocabulary isn't.
Saint Francis de Sales on moderation and identity
Chris highlights Saint Francis de Sales, known for gentleness, wisdom and guiding souls toward a balanced spiritual life. His advice: do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly. Chris connects it to identity as a child of God — she was made perfectly to be Chris Magruder, not Julie Nelson — and says there is real freedom in that. For deeper reading, she recommends Part III of his classic work Introduction to the Devout Life.
A temperance inventory: where is this showing up in your life?
Chris originally gave this talk with a 17-question self-examination. She walks through several of them on air, asking listeners whether they've done these things, been on the receiving end of them, or both:
Blurting — speaking without thinking and embarrassing yourself or others
Disciplining children loudly in public
Disrespecting a spouse in front of other people
Arguing in front of others, which makes everyone in the room uncomfortable
Overeating, especially sugar
Overspending and over-shopping
Unchaste behavior inside or outside of marriage
Video games, technology and social media overuse
Over-napping as avoidance, over-exercising, over-drinking
Living for what other people think instead of what God thinks
Her point: even good things can be overindulged, including relationships, ministry and rest. The question is always whether it is balanced.
"He's been trying to teach me temperance for years"
Chris shares personal stories with real candor. A sixth-grade contest at Camp Foster in Okoboji, Iowa, that she won by staying silent the longest — and how taming her tongue has been a lifelong lesson since. A recent conversation with a friend she hadn't seen in twenty years, where curiosity got ahead of charity and she blurted out a question about a divorce, then went back and apologized. A situation years ago where she approached two mothers directly about their fourth-grade sons and pornography, and it bore no fruit — versus a later situation where she prayed for two weeks first, and the Lord directed her to have her husband speak to the other father. That one worked beautifully. Her takeaway: pray first. Even a quick "Lord, bind my tongue" in the moment reorients the heart.
When the good things become the imbalance
Chris also describes a season of saying yes to everything at church — until the Lord told her to go home. Her body was home but her mind and phone were still at the parish. She wasn't greeting her husband at the door or listening to her kids. Balance, she says, applies even to holy work: it's all good, but what are you actually called to?
Practical exercises to grow in temperance
Get your priorities in order. God first, then spouse, then children, then everyone and everything else. Ask at the end of the day: who am I trying to please?
Audit your calendar. Does your time reflect those priorities? Is there balance among prayer, work, play and rest? All four matter.
"Future with God" instead of catastrophizing. Rather than spiraling — if I lose my job, then we lose the house, then — pray forward with God: what doors could He open, who might you meet, how might your faith grow?
Sit in gratitude. Count your blessings instead of sheep. Remembering God's past faithfulness quiets fear about the future.
Pray the centering prayer. "Lord God, help me stay in the center of your will." He gently corrects when we drift.
Go to the sacraments. Chris calls Reconciliation and the Eucharist the two great gifts that restore balance — spiritually and physically.
An emotional control exercise for children (and adults)
For a child in the middle of a meltdown: pause and pray "Come, Holy Spirit." Get eye contact — "look at me." Name the emotion for them. Offer a stuffed animal to hug if they need to discharge energy. Breathe in for four seconds, out for four seconds. Once they're calm, think together about what to do next. Chris notes she has used a version of this with her adult and college-age children too, and shares how looking into the eyes of a Sacred Heart of Jesus image in her prayer corner calms her the same way.
Temperance and technology
Julie and Chris discuss how heavily social media is engineered to capture attention, and note that parents are now often on their devices more than their kids. Chris recommends Brick, a physical device that locks chosen apps on your phone until you walk back to it and tap again — friction that creates a pause between impulse and action. The deeper question stays spiritual: who am I trying to please, and what is this scrolling buffering me from?
Catholic Women Now airs on Iowa Catholic Radio. Listen live, stream past episodes and find the full programming schedule at IowaCatholicRadio.com.
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More from Iowa Catholic Radio:
Sunday Dive with Katie Patrizio
Man Up! with Joe Stopulos
Catholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie Nelson
The Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud Marr
Be Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce Riebe
Be Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián Moncada
Making it Personal with Bishop William Joensen
Faith and Family Finance with Gregory Waddle
The Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos

Liturgy & Devotions
The Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick Smith
The Daily Mass from St. Francis of Assisi
The Daily Mass from St. Pius X
The Daily Mass from St. Theresa
Sunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint John
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Meeting God in the Everyday
Fr. Luke Doyle joins Catholic Women Now to talk about his first book, Priest in the Wild: Stories of Meeting God in the Everyday, published by Ascension. Fr. Luke explains that he didn't write the book to tell readers how to be holy, but to invite them into the countless ways Jesus approaches us in ordinary moments. He names "self-made aloneness" as one of the great lies of the spiritual life — the assumption that we're on our own for most of the day — and reminds listeners that everyone who seeks will find. Holiness, he says, is simply living life with God: more about trusting, listening, and receiving than achieving.
Childlike vs. Childish
Ministering at a large secular university, Fr. Luke sees young people crushed by a culture that says everything is permitted and nothing is forgiven — where identity gets reduced to a GPA, a body, or a social media metric. His response has been to teach them how to play in the Kingdom. Drawing on life as an uncle in a family of eight kids, he distinguishes childlikeness — trust, wonder, freedom, willingness to risk and to share — from childishness, the posture of "no" and "mine" and "I'll do it myself." He shares how a moment of prayer, framed by an unforgettable scene from Elf, awakened his own desire to be introduced to God the Father.
Why Love Plays Offense
One of the most talked-about chapters in the book comes from Matthew 16. Worn out from constantly defending the Church in a progressive campus environment, Fr. Luke brought his frustration to prayer — and Jesus pointed him to a single word: gates. Gates are defensive weapons. If the gates of hell will not prevail, then hell is the one playing defense. Love, by its nature, moves toward others. The Church isn't built to hold a line; she's sent on mission.
Mary, the GOAT — and the Serpent-Crusher
Fr. Luke tells the story of calling Our Lady "the GOAT" in an Assumption homily and the parishioner who came at him ready for battle. His point: no one has trusted, listened to, and moved with God better than His own mother. He also shares his lifelong fear of snakes and the comfort of an image found in nearly every depiction of Mary — her heel on the serpent. His shorthand for handing her our fears: pray and squish.
Spiritual Fatherhood and the Freedom of "Yes"
With refreshing honesty, Fr. Luke describes discerning his vocation while begging the Lord not to call him to the priesthood, fearing celibacy would be a "no" to intimacy and fatherhood. In prayer, Jesus asked him a question that changed everything: Is marriage big enough for your heart? Five years ordained, he describes walking into a room and being father to every person in it — young or old — as the fulfillment his heart was actually made for.
Lion Strength
Fr. Luke closes with Narnia. Aslan — the lion who is the Christ figure of the series — calls the fearful forward and tells them to press into his mane, listen to his heartbeat, and receive his strength. That, Fr. Luke says, is exactly what the sacraments do. Christ the Lion of the tribe of Judah breathes on us in Holy Communion and Confession and sends us out as lions and lionesses to renew His Kingdom. His closing prayer and blessing are worth hearing to the end.
Also in This Episode
Julie opens the show with truth, beauty, and goodness from a recent trip to South Africa — vineyards, three oceans meeting, and elephants caring for their own — and how encountering God's creation half a world away reveals the same Father at work.
Learn More
Get Priest in the Wild from Ascension
Learn more about Fr. Luke's ministry at the St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center
Listen to past episodes of Catholic Women Now at IowaCatholicRadio.com
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Sunday Dive with Katie Patrizio
Man Up! with Joe Stopulos
Catholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie Nelson
The Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud Marr
Be Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce Riebe
Be Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián Moncada
Making it Personal with Bishop William Joensen
Faith and Family Finance with Gregory Waddle
The Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos

Liturgy & Devotions
The Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick Smith
The Daily Mass from St. Francis of Assisi
The Daily Mass from St. Pius X
The Daily Mass from St. Theresa
Sunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint John
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Julie and Chris spend the full show unpacking Kim Schadt's list of more than 20 practical ways to love your husband and renew your marriage, encouraging listeners to pick just one or two habits a week rather than trying to do everything at once.

Prayer and Spiritual Life

The hosts start with the spiritual foundation: praying for your husband daily, offering the Eucharist on his behalf, protecting his own devotional life without pushing him to pray your way, and praying a decade of the Rosary together — specifically the second luminous mystery, where Jesus turns water into wine.

Everyday Acts of Love and Affirmation

Small, consistent gestures matter most — a hidden act of service, a daily word of affirmation, ten minutes of undivided attention, and fifteen minutes of quiet decompression time when he first gets home from work. Julie and Chris share how these habits have played out in their own marriages, including a nightly cup of chocolate milk and a decompression phone call on the drive home.

Communication, Intimacy, and Forgiveness

The hosts also cover harder topics with honesty: physical intimacy as a renewal of wedding vows, communicating through wounds or difficulty in that area, asking your husband directly about his needs instead of assuming, and the humility of asking "will you forgive me?" after a disagreement.

Marriage-Strengthening Resource: Free Will

Iowa Catholic Radio has partnered with My Catholic Will to offer listeners a free legal will, created in as little as fifteen minutes. Learn more at My Catholic Will.

Read the Full Article

This episode is based on Kim Schadt's article on Catholic-Link, "Over 20 Practical Ways to Love Your Husband and Renew Your Marriage."

Learn more at IowaCatholicRadio.com.

#CatholicMarriage #CatholicWomenNow #LoveYourHusband #CatholicWife #MarriageAdvice #CatholicFaith #IowaCatholicRadio #CatholicPodcast

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You can follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Tiktok! More on our website.
If you would like to support Iowa Catholic Radio you can donate Here!

More from Iowa Catholic Radio:
Sunday Dive with Katie Patrizio
Man Up! with Joe Stopulos
Catholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie Nelson
The Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud Marr
Be Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce Riebe
Be Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián Moncada
Making it Personal with Bishop William Joensen
Faith and Family Finance with Gregory Waddle
The Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos

Liturgy & Devotions
The Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick Smith
The Daily Mass from St. Francis of Assisi
The Daily Mass from St. Pius X
The Daily Mass from St. Theresa
Sunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint John
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A Story Continued

Katlyn first joined the show in February to share how she lost her husband, Riley, in a car accident at just 28 years old, leaving her to raise their 8-month-old daughter, Chloe, alone. Today's episode picks up from there — her remarriage, the birth of her son, and how it all led her into the Catholic Church.

Falling in Love Again

Katlyn talks candidly about the courage it took to date again after loss, meeting her husband Luke, and initially telling him it "wasn't going to work out" the moment she learned he was Catholic — before God had other plans.

The Journey Into the Catholic Church

From conversations with Luke's uncle, Father Mike Peters — a retired priest of the Diocese of Des Moines connected to Our Lady's Immaculate Heart Parish in Ankeny — to enrolling in OCIA, Katlyn shares how questions about Church authority, sacred tradition, and ultimately the Eucharist led her out of her Protestant upbringing and into full communion with the Church.

Easter Vigil and New Life

Katlyn was received into the Church at the Easter Vigil — just two days before giving birth to her son, Carson. She also shares the moving experience of having both Chloe and Carson baptized together by Father Mike.

Under the Fig Tree

Katlyn explains the story behind her book's title, drawn from the Gospel account of Nathanael meeting Jesus, and what it means to know that God sees us "under the fig tree" — even in our lowest moments. Her book, Under the Fig Tree: God's Faithfulness in Every Season, is available now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Follow Katlyn on Facebook for updates on upcoming book signings in the Des Moines metro.

A Free Gift for Your Family

Iowa Catholic Radio has partnered with My Catholic Will to offer listeners a free, legally binding will in as little as fifteen minutes — a meaningful way to protect your loved ones and put your faith into your legacy planning.

#CatholicWomenNow #IowaCatholicRadio #CatholicConversion #UnderTheFigTree #OCIA #CatholicFaith #Eucharist #Remarriage #GriefAndHope #CatholicPodcast

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More from Iowa Catholic Radio:
Sunday Dive with Katie Patrizio
Man Up! with Joe Stopulos
Catholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie Nelson
The Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud Marr
Be Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce Riebe
Be Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián Moncada
Making it Personal with Bishop William Joensen
Faith and Family Finance with Gregory Waddle
The Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos

Liturgy & Devotions
The Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick Smith
The Daily Mass from St. Francis of Assisi
The Daily Mass from St. Pius X
The Daily Mass from St. Theresa
Sunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint John
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On this unplugged episode of Catholic Women Now, hosts Julie Nelson and Chris Magruder set aside their usual guest format for a coffee-chat-style conversation about the prayers and novenas that have carried them through hard seasons, and the miracles they've witnessed along the way.

The Rosary Group That Keeps Growing

Julie shares how her parish rosary group at St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in West Des Moines, Iowa has met for nearly eight years, including a recent answered prayer when her three-month-old grandson's high fever dropped within minutes of the group's prayers. She and Chris also recall a moment when a stranger they had prayed for turned out to later become a guest on their own show.

Learn more at St. Francis of Assisi Parish.

Two Everyday Miracles

Chris tells the story of an unexpected answered prayer while house-hunting in Kansas City, and Julie recalls how a "coincidental" TV turning on, followed by a confirming line in her daily devotional, let her know Jesus was near right when she'd asked to know Him better.

The Seven Sorrows Rosary

Chris explains how she first learned about the Seven Sorrows Rosary from Catholic author and speaker Immaculée Ilibagiza at the Christ Our Life conference in Des Moines, and shares how praying it for her son before a major exam led to an unexpected, life-changing outcome.

Learn more at Christ Our Life Iowa, which returns to Casey's Center in Des Moines September 26–27, 2026.

A Novena for Financial Miracles: Infant Jesus of Prague

Julie shares how an emergency nine-hour novena to the Infant Jesus of Prague, prayed in front of a statue she encountered during a silent retreat, led to a surprising financial breakthrough ahead of a fundraising concert — and how she still leans on this devotion for her family's finances today.

Undoer of Knots, Saint Therese, and a Thirty-Day Novena to Saint Joseph

The two also cover the long-form Undoer of Knots novena that helped untangle a difficult family decision, the Saint Therese novena and its "sign of the rose," and Julie's thirty-day novena to Saint Joseph that led to a life-changing decision about where to raise her family.

The Emergency Novena

The hosts close with the nine-hour emergency novena attributed to Saint Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa), which Julie has turned to for more than one last-minute travel miracle.

Learn more about Iowa Catholic Radio's full program lineup at IowaCatholicRadio.com.

 

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You can follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Tiktok! More on our website.
If you would like to support Iowa Catholic Radio you can donate Here!

More from Iowa Catholic Radio:
Sunday Dive with Katie Patrizio
Man Up! with Joe Stopulos
Catholic Women Now with Chris Magruder and Julie Nelson
The Uncommon Good with Bo Bonner and Dr. Bud Marr
Be Not Afraid with Fr. Fabian Moncada and Fr. Bruce Riebe
Be Not Afraid en Español con el P. Fabián Moncada
Making it Personal with Bishop William Joensen
Faith and Family Finance with Gregory Waddle
The Great Men of the Bible with Joe Stopulos

Liturgy & Devotions
The Daily Gospel Reflection with Fr. Nick Smith
The Daily Mass from St. Francis of Assisi
The Daily Mass from St. Pius X
The Daily Mass from St. Theresa
Sunday Mass from the Basilica of Saint John
Want to support your favorite show? Click Here

Iowa Catholic Radio - Connecting People to Christ

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