The Allusionist

You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it.
Content note: this episode contains a couple of category B swears. There is also mention of puke - but, emetophobes, it's not the puke that you think.
Visit theallusionist.org/hues for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode. Find Kory's work at korystamper.com, including her new book True Color: the Strange and Spectacular Quest to Define Color, from Azure to Zinc.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Music and editorial advice were provided by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com.
Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to join me for regular livestreams where I read from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries. This multi-year project has proven very revealing about the idiosyncrasies of dictionaries, and the people who write them! (Some of whom alas can't get enough of the word 'pudend.) As well as that, you get behind the scenes info about every episode, plus watchalong parties for films and TV shows - you're in time to catch the end of the first season of the very funny Australian murder mystery Deadloch - and you get the company of your fellows in the Allusioverse Discord community. And best of all, you're funding the continuing existence of this independent podcast.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads.
This episode is sponsored by:
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
• Factor, fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs with 100 menu options each week, always fresh never frozen. To get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year, go to factormeals.com/allusionist50off and use code allusionist50off.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pack your oxygen tank, we're going to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.
Visit theallusionist.org/cosmic-hairball for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode.
The singing and score is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs that aren't about space milk at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp.
The show is taking a little break, and will return early April 2026. To keep in touch in the meantime, head over to theallusionist.org/donate where from as little as $2/month, or as much as $infinity per month if you prefer, you get written bonus content including behind-the-scenes info about every episode; you also get membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company; watch parties such as Chungking Express, Belle and The Ice Storm, and the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown; AND you get more regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries. AND you're keeping this independent podcast going, so thanks very much for doing that and sparing it from going to the farm upstate. You can also sign up for a free account at the same place, to get occasional email updates.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits! Every year, the show's guests say too many interesting things and/or stuff that isn't languagey enough, so I save it up and release it in a delightful melange of facts and thoughts, about language and also not about language. That melange is today, and it includes dinosaur mouths and dinosaur poop, psychedelic plants, feminist cookbooks, and taking a class in profanity.
You hear, in order of appearance: Alex Ketchum, Martin Austwick, So Mayer, Hannah McGregor, Kelly Elizabeth Wright and Nicole Holliday.
Content note: there are category A swears in this episode.
Visit theallusionist.org/bonus2025 for a transcript of the episode and more information about all the people who appear in it, plus links to the previous Allusionists they were in.
(And yes I know 2025 is over, but I had to delay this for a month while enjoying a nasty bout of laryngitis, AKA Podcaster's Plague.)
Sign up at patreon.com/allusionist for a free account to get occasional emails about Allusionist events and such, like the birthdaylusionist livestream happening on 24 January at youtube.com/allusionistshow. Or, if you want a not-free account from $2/month, you get some more emails, with behind-the-scenes info about every episode; you also get membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company, and we're also watching the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown together; AND you get more regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries. AND you're keeping this independent podcast going, so thanks very much for doing that.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. The music is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Read by me, Helen Zaltzman; music, sound effects and additional vocals are by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com.
Content warning: 200-year-old attitudes towards disability. Also warning for GHOSTS.
Scroll way down your podfeed or go to theallusionist.org/dickens-christmas to listen to the episode called How The Dickens Stole Christmas, which is about just why this book has such a big influence on festivities even nearly two centuries later. And it features podcasting luminaries Greg Jenner, Katie Mingle and Avery Trufelman.
There are also several other festive episodes of the show, including ones about why Santa St Nick Father Christmas Kringle Klaas has so many names, Christmas song lyrics where the letters sent to Santa go, and a portmanteau word that kicked off a lot of War On Christmas. They're all gathered at theallusionist.org/festivelusionist.
Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get to list your creative works in this year's Allusioverse Gift Guide, plus you receive bonus written material about every episode; regular livestreams with me and Martin reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries; and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where among daily sharing of thoughts and amusements, this month we will be watching The Muppet Christmas Carol and Knives Out.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:
• Greenwood Lake Roasters, purveyors of small batch craft coffee roasted just outside of NYC. Go to GreenwoodLakeRoasters.com to place your order - do it between now and December 31st and use the checkout code ALLUSIONIST to get 10% off small batch coffee and subscription orders.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Rosetta Stone, immersive and effective language learning. Allusionist listeners get 50% off lifetime membership - that's unlimited access to all 25 language courses, for life - at rosettastone.com/allusionist.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

"I have never felt so naked. That's how exposed I felt at the idea that my handwriting was going to be seen by the world," says Tim Brookes, founder of the Endangered Alphabets Project and author of the new book about handwriting By Hand: Can the Art of Writing Be Saved? Writing the book (yes, by hand!) celebrates the act of handwriting, even overcoming the shame arising from his own.
Visit theallusionist.org/scribe for more information about Tim's work and today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode.
Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get to list your creative works in this year's Allusioverse Gift Guide, plus behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries; and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where among daily sharing of thoughts and amusements, we're watching The Princess Bride, the current season of Great Canadian Baking Show, and Game of Wool.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by:
• Greenwood Lake Roasters, purveyors of small batch craft coffee roasted just outside of NYC. Go to GreenwoodLakeRoasters.com to place your order - do it between now and December 31st and use the checkout code ALLUSIONIST to get 10% off small batch coffee and subscription orders.
• Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
• Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.