Awakening Now

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What happens when the last illusion falls away, and it doesn't feel like peace?
In this conversation, Christiane Michelberger returns two years after her first appearance to talk about what actually happened when her final fetter fell away. Rather than the bliss she expected, she describes hours of disorientation, the sudden loss of a place to withdraw to when things got hard, before it resolved the next morning into something she calls relief.
We talk about the difference between direct pointing and direct experience as paths to seeing through illusion, why awakening doesn't mean the end of anger, fear, or being triggered, and why no teacher can transmit realization to another person. Christiane also shares a striking way of thinking about illusion itself, as a kind of hallucination, sensory experience without sensory input, and what it means to keep returning to what is actually here.
This one is for anyone who has had a glimpse and is quietly wondering what a fuller shift might cost.
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
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Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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Something in you is looking for relief right now, whether you call it awakening, peace, or simply wanting to feel okay again. If that's where you are, you're welcome to join Deep Looking Immersion: [LINK]
What are you really looking for underneath the hope for awakening? This episode comes from a live meeting, opening with a short talk on where seeking actually begins, not curiosity, but suffering, and the quiet hope that once the self is seen through, everything difficult will finally stop.
From there, four real conversations unfold. Ben, George, Swen, and Tammy each bring something different to look at, an old assumption about awakening, a fear of feeling good, a belief that something is wrong with them, and each one is met directly, as it happens rather than talked about from a distance.
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
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Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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Here's the Buzzsprout description for episode 133, in your voice, mentioning the live Zoom recording and the open invitation to join next time.
You can already understand that there is no separate self, clearly and without doubt, and still feel that nothing has changed. The understanding sits in the mind like a fact you have memorised, while life keeps arriving with the same fears, the same upsets, the same quiet sense that something still isn't right.
This episode is a recording of a live Zoom meeting, and it moves through three parts. It opens with a talk for the seeker who looked for the self, found nothing, and quietly decided that meant they had failed. We look at the expectation waiting underneath the search, and at what happens when you turn back toward the very nothing you keep dismissing.
From there I sit with a few people, and two of those exchanges stay with me. George is eighty-five and has understood for over ten years that there is no separate self, yet still wants to know how to get there. Together we look at how an upset is really an energy moving in the body, and how the me is a story that borrows its weight from the feeling underneath it. Then I speak with Sebastian, and we follow a lifelong guilt down into the body, into the shame beneath it, and into the young child who first learned it. This is where the looking becomes a kind of healing.
If you understand all of this clearly in the mind and still feel it hasn't quite landed in the body, this conversation may speak to where you actually are. These meetings happen live, and you are warmly welcome to join the next one. You can find the details and stay in touch here: https://zcmp.eu/1XWa
Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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There is a particular kind of loneliness in believing you are in here, and everything else is out there. Most of us carry that feeling for years without ever asking where it came from, or whether it was ever true.
In this episode of Awakening Now, I'm speaking with Sabina Witzel, a German awakening guide and author who has spent years supporting people through the awakening process. Early in our conversation, I ask Sabina what awakening actually means to her, and she offers something simple that stays with you: "awakening to me is like closing the gap."
Together, we spend real time in direct pointing and self-inquiry, searching for the actual line between inside and outside, self and world, the illusion of a separate self most of us never think to question. Sabina describes what she found when she looked closely: "there was no dividing line, there was just an idea, like inside, outside. There is no line in experience." Near the end, she says it even more plainly: "all of it is just an idea, all of it."
This conversation may speak to you if you've had a glimpse of this seeing but still feel the old sense of separation returning, or if you're drawn to nonduality and direct inquiry but want it explored simply, without unnecessary jargon.

You can find Sabina at www.sabina-witzel.com/en

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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In this episode of Awakening Now, I speak with Sukhdev Virdee, author of sixteen books on Advaita Vedanta and nondual philosophy.
Sukhdev works with people who have already explored the teachings deeply. They have read the books, watched the videos, understood nonduality intellectually, and yet still feel that something hasn't fully landed.
We explore Sukhdev's own awakening experience and the years of inquiry that followed. Together we look at the relationship between awakening and understanding, the role of spiritual teachings, self-inquiry, and a question many seekers eventually face:
What happens when the pointers are no longer getting you anywhere?
This conversation touches on consciousness, awareness, identity, the nature of reality, and the subtle ways seeking can continue even after profound insights have occurred.
If you've ever felt that you understand the teachings but something remains unresolved, this episode may speak directly to your experience.
Sukhdev Virdee works with those who have already done the work, read the books, watched the videos, understood nonduality intellectually, and still find something hasn't fully landed.
Most teachings point one toward Awareness and stop there. Sukhdev goes in the opposite direction. He turns toward what is false and dismantles it precisely, the ego, the I thought, the mechanics of how the mind keeps confusion alive, until the mind has nothing left to rebuild the seeking from. Understanding ends the seeking. Believing doesn't.
He is the author of sixteen books on Advaita Vedanta and nondual philosophy and teaches through his YouTube channel and one-on-one mentorship.
YouTube: youtube.com/@sukhdevvirdee
Books: amazon.com/author/sukhdevvirdee

Music by Valdi Sabev. In loving memory and gratitude for the music he shared.
Support the show
Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com