Anger Management

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the single most important factor in whether a relationship will thrive or fall apart: And it's not chemistry, compatibility or even love. Drawing on research from relationship psychology, Alastair explains why friendship is the foundation everything else is built on, and how it shapes the way couples handle conflict, criticism and the small friction of everyday life.
Rather than offering generic relationship advice, Alastair introduces two powerful concepts: Positive and Negative Sentiment Override. These explain why the exact same argument can feel like nothing in one relationship and everything in another. And the good news is, friendship is something you can choose to rebuild, starting today.
Key Takeaways:
Research shows that only three out of ten couples who marry go on to have a genuinely happy, long-term relationship. The single factor that predicts success more than any other is whether each person sees their partner as their best friend.
Positive Sentiment Override acts as a buffer. When the friendship is strong, small irritations don't land as attacks. You assume good intent and give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
Negative Sentiment Override flips that entirely. When the overall feeling in a relationship has turned negative, even a two-minute phone call can start a fight. It's not the event. It's the lens you're seeing it through.
Letting your partner influence you is one of the most important friendship habits in a relationship. Making decisions that affect both of you without genuine, fair negotiation slowly erodes trust and connection.
Expressing appreciation frequently matters more than most people realise. Negative interactions hit harder than positive ones, so the ratio needs to stay high: around five positive interactions for every one negative.
Turning towards your partner in small everyday moments, laughing at their jokes, acknowledging what they say, validating their view, is what keeps friendship alive between the big conversations.

Resources & Next Steps:
If you'd like support building a calmer, stronger, more connected relationship:
Visit AngerSecrets.com
Book a free 30-minute phone call
Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through five practical steps for rebuilding a relationship after a separation caused by anger. Whether you're the one who's just watched your partner walk out, or you're months into a separation and wondering if there's any way back, this episode gives you a clear, honest roadmap for what comes next.
Rather than offering empty reassurances or quick fixes, Alastair is direct about what real reconciliation actually requires, from both people. And the good news is that when the work is done properly, what comes out the other side is often something stronger than what existed before.
Key Takeaways:
Dealing with your anger has to come first. If anger isn't genuinely addressed, nothing else in the relationship can be repaired. Your partner knows it, and deep down, you probably do too.
Accepting responsibility means understanding the full impact of your behavior on the people you love. Most people with anger issues don't realise how deep that impact goes until they stop and truly look.
Letting your partner take the lead on when to reestablish contact is essential. Rushing this step often does more damage. Some couples wait months, and that's okay.
Words alone won't rebuild trust. Your partner needs to see real evidence of change, consistently, in small unplanned moments over time — not just when things are easy.
The goal isn't to go back to the relationship you had. It's to build something new, something that couldn't exist before because the work hadn't been done yet.

Resources & Next Steps:
If you'd like support rebuilding your relationship and managing your anger for good:
Visit AngerSecrets.com
Book a free 30-minute phone call
Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Anger in a relationship doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. But without the right tools, the same arguments keep happening, the same damage keeps building — and eventually, something breaks. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares four practical things you can start doing this week to change the way anger shows up in your relationship.
In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through four key areas, from understanding your triggers to remembering you and your partner are on the same team, giving you a clear, actionable roadmap for lasting change.
Key Takeaways:
Understanding your anger triggers is the foundation. But without knowing what sets you off, those triggers run the show without you
Talking openly about issues before they build is the difference between a conversation and an explosion. A weekly relationship check-in is a simple tool that makes this possible
Stress and anger are directly linked. Managing your stress levels outside the relationship directly reduces conflict inside it
Most arguments feel like battles because we're trying to win. Shifting from "convince" to "understand" is where real resolution lives
Both people in a conflict have valid perspectives. Seeking to understand your partner's view almost always leads them to seek yours in return.

If anger has been damaging your relationship, this episode gives you four clear places to start, and the perspective to make them stick.
Links referenced in this episode:
angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle
angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
You're in the middle of an argument with your partner. Your heart is racing, things are escalating and you can feel it heading somewhere neither of you wants to go. In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces one of the most important relationship skills you've probably never been taught - relationship repair.
In this solo episode, Alastair breaks down exactly what relationship repair is, why it matters and how to use it in the heat of the moment to stop conflict before it does lasting damage to your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Relationship repair (a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman) is the ability to recognise when an argument is escalating and take steps to redirect it before real damage is done
The first skill is awareness: tuning into your own physical and emotional signals before things spiral
Reminding yourself that your relationship matters more than the argument is a mindset shift that changes everything
Repair attempts - a soft tone, an I-statement, a request for a break, even humour or a touch - can turn a conflict around in seconds
Accepting your partner's repair attempts is just as important as making your own
The goal isn't to never disagree. It's to disagree in a way that doesn't damage what you've built together

If conflict in your relationship keeps escalating further than it should, this episode gives you the tools to change that, starting with your very next argument.
Links referenced in this episode:
angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle
angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever completely lost it over something small, a dish in the sink or a towel on the floor, and then felt embarrassed afterward because you knew, deep down, it wasn't really about the dish? In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why small things trigger such big reactions, and what you can do to stop it.
In this solo episode, Alastair walks you through the real reasons minor irritations escalate into major explosions and shares three practical tools to help you let go of the small stuff before it damages your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
Small triggers are rarely the real issue. They're usually the outlet for unspoken frustrations or unmet needs building underneath
An overdeveloped need for control can make minor disruptions feel catastrophic
Pausing before you respond, even for just a breath or two, creates the gap where self-control lives
Asking "will this matter in a year?" is a simple but powerful way to regain perspective in the moment
Practising gratitude regularly builds resilience and shrinks the power of daily irritations
Knowing what truly matters in life makes it easier to release what doesn't

If small things are costing you big arguments, this episode gives you the perspective shift and practical tools to start changing that today.
Links referenced in this episode:
-angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
-angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle
-angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System