Grow the Good

What does it really mean to be mentally agile?
In this solo episode, I’m talking about the emotional and attentional skills that help us notice what’s happening inside of us, create space, and choose our next move with more intention. Mental agility is the ability to shift, adapt, and stay connected to what matters, especially when things don’t go the way we planned.
Today, I’lm talking about emotional agility, mindfulness, emotional granularity, and the internal and external “shifters” that can help us adjust in real time. I also walk you through two practical tools: my REAL framework for emotional agility and the 3R tool for attention: recognize, regroup, and refocus.
This episode leads us to the next Mindfulness in Action practice, where we’ll take these ideas out of the theoretical space and into real life. Next week, we’ll practice mental agility on the move, using mindfulness as a way to notice shifting in real time.
Top 5 Takeaways
Mental agility is different from resilience: Resilience often shows up after hard things happen, but mental agility is something we can practice every day.
Emotions are data, not directives: Your emotions can tell you what you care about, but they don’t have to decide how you behave.
Mindfulness creates space: When you can notice your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations without immediately reacting, you have more choice.
Attention is trainable: The 3R tool (recognize, regroup, refocus) can help you come back to the task, the moment, or the next right action.
Small shifts matter: Sensation, attention, perspective, physical space, trusted people, and culture can all help us regulate and shift in real time.
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What if so much of our suffering comes from trying to become who we think we’re supposed to be? In this episode, I sit down with meditation teachers Jeff Warren and Tasha Schumann for a wide-ranging, deeply practical conversation about mindfulness, creativity, neurodiversity, and how to let go of the societal “shoulds” that keep us disconnected from ourselves.
This conversation felt especially personal to me because so much of it mirrors what I’ve been exploring in my own life as an athlete, a mom, a coach, and now as a writer. We talk about identity transitions, performance-based striving, how endurance sport became a doorway into self-inquiry for me, and why mindfulness has to move beyond the meditation cushion if it’s actually going to change your life.
Jeff and Tasha bring warmth, honesty, and a refreshing lack of dogma to this conversation. We explore the tension between external pressure and internal truth, the role of creativity and joy in a meaningful life, and the practical skills of mindfulness: concentration, clarity, and equanimity.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected, if meditation apps feel shallow, or if you’re trying to find a more authentic way to strive, this conversation is for you.

Top 5 Takeaways
A lot of suffering comes from “shoulds”: External expectations can disconnect us from our actual nature and values.
Mindfulness has to move into real life: It’s not just about sitting on a cushion, it’s about how you return to the present in parenting, work, conflict, and creativity.
Neurodiversity can be a doorway, not a deficit: Different ways of thinking can challenge conformity and open new paths to self-acceptance.
Meditation builds trainable skills: Jeff and Tasha emphasize three core capacities: concentration, clarity, and equanimity.
Thriving is not about becoming perfect: It’s about becoming more authentic, more connected, and more able to stay with your experience as it is.
LINKS
Solo about the problem with should
Mindfulness in Action: Letting Go of Should
Check out Jeff and Tasha’s podcast Mind Bod Pod
Follow Tasha’s Substack Bodhi Savage

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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

In this Mindfulness in Action episode, I’m talking about one of the sneakiest forms of distorted thinking: shoulds.
You know the ones: I should be doing more. I should have this figured out by now. I should be more disciplined, more patient, more productive. These thoughts can sound helpful on the surface, but often they leave us feeling ashamed, guilty, disconnected, and never quite enough.
In this episode, I break down three common types of “shoulds”:
 the outward-facing shoulds tied to habits and expectations, 
 the shoulds that come from a lack of self-acceptance, 
 and the shoulds rooted in unrealistic standards for ourselves or other people. 
I also share practical mindfulness tools you can use in real time to work with these thoughts instead of getting hooked by them. We explore practices like labeling, cognitive diffusion, acceptance, self-compassion, psychological distancing, and grounding in the present moment.
This is not about getting rid of every self-critical thought forever. It’s about learning how to notice them, soften their grip, and come back to what’s actually here.
If you’ve been feeling pressured by your own inner voice lately, this episode is a reminder that you are not alone. There are skillful, compassionate ways to meet yourself in those moments.
Other meditations:
- Slowing Down the Rush
- How to Regulate Your Emotions for Resilience and Performance
- How to Combat Self-Criticism
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I should be better than this. I should be doing more. I should have started earlier” and then spiraling? In this solo episode, I’m diving into the world of "should" and how it quietly drives guilt, shame, and burnout, especially for high performers and ambitious, growth-oriented people.
Recently, I injured my rib at my son’s ninja gym birthday party and being forced to pull back on training actually gave me surprising mental relief. So today, I explore why having more ways to train, work, parent, or “optimize” yourself can actually make you feel worse about whatever you choose.
Drawing from my background in applied positive psychology and the science of cognitive behavioral therapy, I break down:
- The three main categories of “shoulds”
- How thinking traps like catastrophizing, personalizing, and overgeneralizing feed the “should” spiral
- The difference between neurotic obligations and values-based aspirations
- Practical ways to notice your “shoulds,” question the beliefs underneath them
- How to decide when to either turn them into concrete, values-aligned plans, or consciously let them go.
If you’ve ever felt haunted by the feeling that you’re not doing enough or not far enough along, this episode will help you build awareness, create kinder inner language, and reclaim your energy from unhelpful “shoulds” so you can focus on what truly matters to you.

LINKS
Episode with Ethan Kross on Chatter
James Clear's Atomic Habits
Episode with Katy Milkman on How to Change
Is self care stressing you out? Solo reflection
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

Flow is one of those words that gets used all the time, but what does it actually mean? And more importantly, how do we create more of it in real life, not just in elite sport or peak performance moments?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sue Jackson, one of the world’s leading experts on flow, to talk about what flow really is, how challenge-skill balance works, and why mindfulness, self-efficacy, and trust in your own abilities matter so much in creating these deeply absorbing and meaningful states. We also get into how risk perception shapes flow, why self-consciousness can pull us out of it, and whether neurodivergent hyperfocus is the same thing as flow, or something different.
This conversation felt especially relevant to me because I’ve been exploring the overlap between flow, self-transcendent experiences, mindfulness in action, and those moments when you’re fully immersed in something challenging and alive. We talk about sport, yes—but also parenting, presentations, reading research, fatigue, difficult days, and how to work with your attention when life is messy and real.
Top 5 Takeaways
Flow is not just “being in the zone” 
Mindfulness supports flow
Self-efficacy matters
Risk is partly about perception
Hyperfocus and flow are not the same thing
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The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.