The Horror Virgin

“Alien King George can go fuck yourself.”
This week's scariest movie is... Independence Day. This film has everything: Fruitopia Breakthroughs, Dolphin Wives, And a movie so good there is No Way it's a Michael Bay Film. If you love 90s smoke shows, holy pigeon plot logic, and alien ship nipples, this episode's for you!
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Up Next: Hell House LLC II: The Aberdeen Hotel
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“We are not going to win against people who smoke nukes.”
This week's scariest movie is... Mars Attacks! This film has everything: aggressive Martian accents, capitalist bike baskets, And cape-couture command structures. If you love failed cow barbecues, fully glazed donut prophets, and trickle-down chandeliers, this episode's for you!
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Up Next: Independence Day
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“Rocks are only hard if you're touching them.”
This week's scariest movie is... Apollo 18. This film has everything: B-52 moon crabs, "landliens", And Lennart Ruth’s space steakhouse. If you love Party City strobe lights, moon-cavern Nazis, and cameras with first names, this episode's for you!
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Next: Mars Attacks!
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“This is 40 minutes of story in a two hour bag.”
This week’s scariest movie is... Life. This film has everything: terribly timed funerals, aliens in trucker hats, And a starfish Borg. If you love space claw machines, Goodnight Moon emergencies, and quadrupedal animal debates, this episode's for you!
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Up Next: Apollo 18
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“Have you heard the good news about Space Pope?"
This week’s scariest movie is... No One Will Save You. This film has everything: nine-hat endings, tall gray nerds, And Raccoon and Fat Squirrel chaos. If you love memory noodles, miniature-town murder weapons, and UFOs with Cheesecake Factory menu vision, this episode’s for you!
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Up Next: Life (2017)
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