The Catholic Coaching Podcast

Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging (More Thinking Errors Explained)

Self-sabotage doesn’t just show up in habits — it shows up in how we think.

In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin continue their series on self-sabotage by unpacking more cognitive distortions — the thinking errors that quietly distort reality and keep old belief systems in place.

These distortions feel true.
They sound logical.
They even feel protective.

But they often:
•Strain relationships
•Create shame and resentment
•Fuel anxiety and overwhelm
•Reinforce limiting identity beliefs
•Keep you stuck in self-sabotage

In this episode, we cover:
•Mind reading & jumping to conclusions
•Fortune telling
•Magnification & minimization
•Emotional reasoning (“I feel it, so it’s true”)
•Should statements
•Labeling & mislabeling
•Personalization & blame

You’ll learn practical coaching tools like:
•How to separate facts from interpretations
•How to challenge “should” thinking
•How to reclaim your locus of control
•How to replace presumption with curiosity
•How to dismantle identity-based labels

This is the fourth episode in our Belief Series — and these tools are foundational for real growth.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck, overwhelmed, resentful, or constantly second-guessing yourself… this episode will help.

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Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging (And How to Stop)

Have you ever had a goal you wanted to pursue… but something in you kept pulling the brakes?

That’s self-sabotage—and in this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin explain what’s happening beneath the surface: cognitive distortions (thinking errors… aka lies) that quietly keep your belief system stuck in place.

They use a powerful analogy: your mind is like an operating system. If you avoid the “software updates,” the bugs don’t disappear—they grow… until your system starts breaking down.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
•Why self-sabotage often feels protective (but blocks growth)
•What cognitive distortions are and how they reinforce beliefs
•How distortions create shame, perfectionism, overwhelm, and paralysis
•A Catholic lens on truth, the intellect, and freedom (Aquinas + CBT)
•Real examples of common distortions, including:
•All-or-nothing thinking (“If it’s not perfect, I’m a failure.”)
•Black-and-white moral labeling (“If I’m not a perfect Christian, I’m a hypocrite.”)
•Overgeneralization (“This always happens… it’ll never change.”)
•Mental filtering (obsessing over the 2% you missed)
•Discounting the positive (“That doesn’t count… it was a fluke.”)

And most importantly: you’ll get practical coaching tools you can use on yourself (or with clients) to start dismantling these thought patterns and step into a healthier, truth-aligned mindset.

This is the first of two episodes where we go deep on cognitive distortions—so make sure you’re subscribed for the next one.
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How to Create New Beliefs (The Belief Ladder Explained)

Why doesn’t positive thinking work?

In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin continue their series on beliefs by teaching The Belief Ladder—a gentle, structured way to create new beliefs without forcing yourself to believe something you don’t yet believe.

Last episode, we talked about how to challenge and break old beliefs.
This week, we focus on the other half of the work: intentionally building new beliefs that lead to real, lasting change.

You’ll learn:
•Why you can’t jump straight from a limiting belief to an ideal one
•What a ladder belief is (and why it works)
•How God designed the mind to change through evidence, repetition, and safety
•The 7 steps of the Belief Ladder:
•Goal-setting with God
•Identifying your current stuck belief
•Naming the identity you’re becoming
•Creating believable “adjacent possible” thoughts
•Building process beliefs
•Gathering real evidence
•Anchoring new identity beliefs
•Why shame, perfectionism, and self-gaslighting keep people stuck
•How to grow into a new identity without rejecting where you are now

This process is especially powerful if you struggle with:
•Self-doubt or shame
•Perfectionism
•Consistency and discipline
•Fear of change
•“I know what I should believe, but I don’t yet”

👉 If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode on breaking old beliefs, we recommend starting there—these two episodes work together.

And if you want support walking through this process, visit the Metanoia Catholic coach directory and connect with a trained Catholic mindset coach.

👍 Like, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who feels stuck on the bottom rung.

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This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

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Ever notice this? You start walking toward something you know God is calling you to… and suddenly your mind floods with “I can’t,” “I’m not capable,” “I’ll fail,” “I’m an imposter.”

That’s not random—it’s often a belief system at work.

In this episode, Matt and Erin begin a brand-new series on The Power of Beliefs—and how to actually change them through Catholic mindset coaching (with Jesus, not willpower alone).

We cover:
 • What a belief is (and why it’s more than “just a thought”)
 • Beliefs vs. thoughts: renters vs. residents
 • Why beliefs can feel like facts (even when they’re not)
 • How beliefs shape identity (“I am / I am not…”)
 • The mind’s “filter” that looks for evidence to confirm what you already believe
 • Why beliefs often feel protective… until you look at the fruit
 • A practical process to start shifting beliefs:
    1. Believe change is possible
    2. Trace where the belief leads (feelings → actions → results)
    3. Diffuse (“I notice I’m believing…”)
    4. Challenge with humble questions (“How might I be wrong?”)

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same patterns—anger, procrastination, people-pleasing, emotional eating, fear, avoidance—there’s often a deeper belief underneath it.

👉 And if you want support, check out the coach directory at Metanoia Catholic  and walk through this work with someone trained to help you untangle it.
Find a coach here - https://www.metanoiacatholic.com/certified-catholic-coaches

👍 Like & subscribe – God Bless!
Send a text
Support the show
____________________
► Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Metanoia Catholic YouTube Channel!

► Find out your temperament: Take the Free Quiz

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► Take the Quiz: WHAT TYPE OF COACH ARE YOU?

► GET THE DAILY SEVEN JOURNAL!
This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

► JOIN THE ACADEMY!
Your online resource of classes, tools, and community to ramp up your growth and really change your life. Learn from the Metanoia Catholic coaches in webinars, live coaching calls, Lectio Divina, and more with your monthly membership.
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Dating a Phlegmatic | Catholic Temperaments

Dating (or married to) a phlegmatic? This episode is for you.

Matt and Erin continue our Temperaments in Dating series with a deep dive into the phlegmatic temperament—aka the steady, loyal, harmony-loving “glue” in so many relationships. We walk through practical do’s and don’ts that can help you avoid unnecessary conflict, communicate better, and create an environment where a phlegmatic can actually flourish.

You’ll learn:
•Why rushing or pressuring a phlegmatic backfires
•How criticism can make them withdraw
•Why drama/instability drains them fast
•The truth behind “they’re lazy” (they’re usually just conserving
                energy)
•How to invite vulnerability without forcing it
•How quiet resentment builds—and how to prevent it
•The phlegmatic superpower: steadfastness + consistency
Send a text
Support the show
____________________
► Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Metanoia Catholic YouTube Channel!

► Find out your temperament: Take the Free Quiz

► Get the Conversation Starter Guide (FREE)

► Take the Quiz: WHAT TYPE OF COACH ARE YOU?

► GET THE DAILY SEVEN JOURNAL!
This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

► JOIN THE ACADEMY!
Your online resource of classes, tools, and community to ramp up your growth and really change your life. Learn from the Metanoia Catholic coaches in webinars, live coaching calls, Lectio Divina, and more with your monthly membership.
____________________
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