Startup Dad

Jackie Nesi, PhD is a clinical psychologist, researcher, and associate professor at Brown University. She is also the creator of Techno Sapiens, a weekly Substack newsletter with over 50,000 subscribers dedicated to translating the latest research on kids, technology, and mental health into practical advice for parents.

Beyond her academic work and her testimony before the U.S. Senate on social media safety, Jackie is a grounded voice in the parenting space who navigates the day-to-day balance of screen time in her own household. She is a mom of three young kids, married to a tech entrepreneur, and works to bridge the gap between complex psychological research and the practical demands of modern parenting. We discussed:
The disconnect between screen time panic and actual research: Why the "all screen time is bad" narrative isn't supported by science, and how parents can let go of perfectionist guilt.
The Transformation Framework: How specific features of social media (asynchrony, public reach, image focus, and permanency) fundamentally alter childhood friendships.
Dialectics in parenting: Practicing dialectical thinking to hold two seemingly contradictory truths at once (e.g., deeply loving your child while feeling completely overwhelmed).
Smart device staging: How to evaluate when a child is ready for a phone, running "tech experiments," and layering access from smartwatches and dumb phones up to full smartphones.
School phone bans and Yondr pouches: What the latest research actually shows regarding school phone policies, distraction, test scores, and student mental health.
AI as the next frontier: What parents and educators need to know right now to help kids navigate AI tools safely and responsibly.

Where to find Jackie Nesi
Website: https://www.jacquelinenesi.com/ 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacqueline-nesi-phd-b070595b 
Substack: https://technosapiens.substack.com/
IG: https://www.instagram.com/jacqueline_nesi/

Where to find Adam Fishman
FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/ 
X: https://x.com/fishmanaf

In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Welcoming Jacqueline Nesi, Associate Professor at Brown University and Techno Sapiens author
(04:01) What teens in psychiatric care reveal about online safety
(08:00) How social media transforms kids’ friendships
(13:49) Why two opposite truths can coexist in parenting
(19:20) Why screen time is about more than counting minutes
(23:31) Treating new devices and screen rules as experiments
(27:12) How to let go of screen time guilt
(29:45) How to know when your child is ready for a phone
(33:28) How to stage phones, smart devices, and social media
(39:23) What school phone bans can and cannot solve
(45:11) Why managing screens can be harder for neurodivergent kids
(47:34) Where The Anxious Generation gets the research right and wrong
(50:33) Having regular tech talks and putting people first
(53:24) How to avoid repeating social media mistakes with AI
(59:49) Lightning round: Toy baskets, existential nursery rhymes, and minivan temptation 

Resources From This Episode:
Techno Sapiens: https://technosapiens.substack.com/ 
How to Let Go of Screen Time Guilt: https://technosapiens.substack.com/p/how-to-let-go-of-screen-time-guilt
It Takes Two (PlayStation Game): https://www.playstation.com/en-us/games/it-takes-two/ 
Lego Star Wars (PlayStation Game): https://www.playstation.com/en-us/games/lego-star-wars-the-skywalker-saga/
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt (Book): https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/book 
The Emperor’s New Groove (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120917/
Will Ferrell (Actor): https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002071/

—

Support Startup Dad
For sponsorship inquiries, email: podcast@fishmana.com
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com

Harry Roegiers is the founder of Stuntpony; a live call coach for B2B salespeople. He’s spent the last decade working in sales performance, growth, and revenue strategy, helping teams improve how they sell and scale.
He’s also a father of three whose journey into parenthood started with a surprise. Just days after proposing to his wife Hannelore in Paris, they found out they were expecting their first child. That unexpected start helped shape his approach to parenting, staying adaptable when life doesn’t go according to plan. We discussed:
Turning off founder mode at home: Why the instinct to analyze and fix problems works at a startup but can backfire when your partner or kids simply need you to listen.

Breaking generational patterns: Why Harry wants his kids to talk openly about emotions while preserving something his own parents got right, giving kids the freedom to make mistakes.

Thinking like a good ancestor: How fatherhood shifted Harry from quarter-to-quarter thinking toward decisions that could benefit his kids and future generations decades from now.

Navigating neurodiversity without rushing to label: How Harry and Hannelore are learning to focus less on finding an answer and more on understanding what their daughter needs from them.

Treating joy as an obligation: Why Harry believes bringing joy to others will become even more valuable in an AI-driven world, and how he practices it at home.

Raising builders in the age of AI: How Harry’s eight-year-old built an app for turning leftovers into recipes, and why he wants his kids creating with AI instead of passively consuming it.

Where to find Harry Roegiers
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/haroldroegiers/ 

Where to find Adam Fishman
FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/ 
X: https://x.com/fishmanaf

In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Welcoming Harry Roegiers, Founder/Investor
(03:39) A Paris proposal and surprise pregnancy
(06:58) What tinnitus taught Harry about the mind-body connection
(09:34) Why founder mode doesn’t work at home
(13:59) Breaking generational patterns around emotions
(19:40) Thinking like a good ancestor
(24:08) Losing his mom and thinking about legacy
(28:15) What his wife’s work taught him about real impact
(30:39) Contrarian parenting rules around swearing
(36:21) Noticing when your child may be wired differently
(37:56) Supporting your child without rushing to find a label
(41:14) Learning each kid’s different love language
(44:53) Why sharing joy is an obligation
(48:10) Vibe coding an app with his eight-year-old son
(57:19) Lightning round: training wheels, dad jokes, IKEA, and minivans

Resources From This Episode:
The Good Ancestor (Book): https://www.romankrznaric.com/good-ancestor 
Lovable (Website): https://lovable.dev/ 
Gong (Website): https://www.gong.io/ 
Chorus (Website): https://chorus.com/ 
Car back seat organizer: https://a.co/d/0fKOLA0L
Balance Bike: https://a.co/d/0gfvf8Bb 
Up (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10494

Dirk Doebler is the Founder and CEO at Parento Leave, a company dedicated to helping organizations build better parental leave programs. He lives with his wife and 3-year-old son.

Dirk and his wife spent serious time before becoming parents asking a fundamental question: Do we even want kids? And if so, how would we raise them without giving up our own dreams and lives? What emerged from that process is a 3-year-old raised with one of the most intentional, free-range, and contrarian parenting philosophies around. We discussed:
The case for free-range parenting: Why hovering at the playground harms your child’s development, and why Dirk lets his three-year-old problem-solve on his own.

Joining our life, not revolving around his: How Dirk and Kate built their parenting philosophy from scratch, choosing to bring their son along on their journey rather than putting their own dreams on hold.

Navigating pediatric feeding disorders: The surprisingly underdiagnosed world of toddler anorexia and sensory feeding challenges, and what their family has learned on the journey.

World traveling with a toddler: How taking 30 flights to 10 different countries by age three taught their son to embrace boredom, entertain himself, and love adventure.

Intentional tech and zero screens: Why Dirk casts videos to the TV instead of handing over a phone, avoids fast-paced cartoons, and views AI as a lazy substitute for authentic parenting.

Taking two paternity leaves: Why Dirk took a second, full-time parental leave when his son was 10 months old, and why showing up daily matters far more than just "banking" quality weekends.

Where to find Dirk Doebler
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ddoebler/ 

Where to find Adam Fishman
FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/ 
X: https://x.com/fishmanaf

In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Welcoming Dirk Doebler, Founder & CEO at Parento Leave
(03:06) What most parents get wrong: hovering and screens
(05:19) Deciding if we wanted kids and building a parenting philosophy
(08:05) Raising a child who joins your life instead of running it
(09:16) Understanding pediatric feeding disorders in toddlers
(14:12) Dividing household load and the "no quid pro quo" rule
(19:45) Free-range parenting: building confidence and independence
(24:45) Flying with a toddler: 30 flights and 10 countries by age three
(34:06) Tech boundaries: Jitterbugs, window-style TV, and no phones
(38:38) Why using AI for parenting is a lazy substitute
(42:12) Taking two paternity leaves and showing up every single day
(50:47) Lightning round: pilot dads, AI video fails, and minivans

Resources From This Episode:
Parento Leave: https://www.parentoleave.com/
Doona: https://www.doona.com/
Medicine Pacifier: https://frida.com/products/medifrida
The Confident Parent: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/28953434-the-confident-parent
Free Range Parenting: https://www.freerangekids.com/
Lilo & Stitch (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0275847/
The Emperor’s New Groove (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120917/

—

Support Startup Dad

For sponsorship inquiries, email: podcast@fishmana.com
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com

Matt Fairbanks is the Chief Marketing Officer of the enterprise browser and platform company, Island. He built a highly successful career as a tech executive in Silicon Valley, navigating the demanding, fast-paced culture of the tech industry before making the bold decision to pull up roots and relocate his family to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, for a much-needed reset.
He’s married to Trish, and together they have raised four children and are now proud grandparents. His parenting journey has included walking away from the height of his Silicon Valley career to help his kids thrive, codifying his family values into a living family constitution, navigating a terrifying, cliff-diving car accident that deeply shifted his perspective on gratitude, and learning how to intentionally step back from being a people-pleaser to prioritize what truly matters. We discussed:
The Silicon Valley exit: What it takes to walk away from a high-powered tech career when you realize the environment is living you, instead of the other way around.
The Fairbanks Family Rules: The origin story behind codifying six core family values, starting with the non-negotiable rule to "be unoffendable," and how they emerged one dinner table conversation at a time.
The power of environment: A humbling lesson in child development, how a school system can misjudge a child's potential, and the radical move that completely unlocked his son's academic future.
The concept of "Type Two Fun": Why introducing kids to challenges that are miserable in the moment but rewarding in retrospect is a vital tool for instilling a lifelong craving for hard work.
Radical gratitude in a crisis: The terrifying reality of learning your 13-year-old daughter was in a 200-foot cliff-side car crash while you are trapped on a tech business flight, and how a miracle survival reshaped their family perspective.
Technology as a tool, not the master: Practical frameworks for embracing new tech like AI to advance your family mission without letting your kids become passive passengers to digital screens.

Where to find Matt Fairbanks
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mattfairbanks/ 
Where to find Adam Fishman
FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/ 
X: https://x.com/fishmanaf
In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Welcoming Matt Fairbanks, Chief Marketing Officer at Island
(03:22) When Silicon Valley is living you instead of the other way around
(05:04) The radical decision to shift environments to unlock children’s potential
(07:44) The origin story of the Fairbanks Family Constitution
(08:44) Rule number one: Stopping generational family drama at the dinner table
(11:04) Why trust must be earned every single day
(13:58) Teaching kids how to add value
(19:43) Introducing kids to the magic of "Type Two Fun"
(24:26) Prioritizing the "big rocks" over endless hours
(38:42) Finding radical gratitude in the wake of a family crisis
(45:14) Unpacking marital alignment: Pink tasks, blue tasks, and windshield intimacy
(01:01:38) Lightning round: Dishwasher throwing mechanics, Tupperware software, and super vans  

Resources From This Episode:
Island: https://www.island.io/ 
Roth IRA: https://www.irs.gov/retirement-plans/roth-iras 
The Fun Scale: https://www.rei.com/blog/climb/fun-scale 
Mary Poppins (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058331/ 
Argo (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1024648/ 
Moneyball (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210166/ 
The Big Short (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596363/ 

—
Support Startup Dad
For sponsorship inquiries, email: podcast@fishmana.com
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com

Kevin Maguire is the former Head of Strategy for Consumer Apps at Google and is now the author of The New Fatherhood and creator of the newsletter of the same name, a community read by over 23,000 dads. Before writing the book Kevin  moved his family from the UK to San Francisco and eventually left the Bay Area for Barcelona, where he now lives with his wife, an and their two kids. He's also a coach who works with CEOs and CMOs at companies like Amazon and Netflix on the intersection of career and family.
Together Kevin and his wife have built an intentional, rotating co-parenting structure at home while both pursuing careers outside the traditional nine-to-five. Kevin also runs a direct-action giving fund that covers therapy costs for dads struggling with paternal postpartum depression, something he experienced firsthand after the birth of his son. We discussed:
Rewriting fatherhood: Why Kevin wrote a book arguing that fatherhood isn't something to endure, but the most enriching, joyful experience of his life.
Retiring the three Ps: How protect, provide, and preside became outdated anchors, and what replaces them for modern dads raising kids in a different world.
Managing yourself, not your kids: Why the real work of parenting is closing the gap between the dad you are and the dad you want to be.
Building a Dadvisory Board: How Kevin coaches dads to find five men they admire, lean on the vulnerability loop, and build courage to ask for help.
Surviving postpartum depression: Kevin's own descent into numbness after his son was born, and the Google search that finally gave his experience a name.
Redefining success after Google: Why leaving the Bay Area rat race and moving to Barcelona helped Kevin trade validation for a life built around family.

Where to find Kevin Maguire
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevmaguire/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newfatherhood/
X: https://x.com/kevmaguire
Substack: https://www.thenewfatherhood.org/

Where to find Adam Fishman
FishmanAF Newsletter: www.FishmanAFNewsletter.com 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/ 
X: https://x.com/fishmanaf

In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Welcoming Kevin Maguire, Father-In-Chief at The New Fatherhood
(03:29) Why the work is on you, not your kids
(05:17) The old model: protect, provide, preside, and why it's busted
(10:16) Managing your own feelings when mornings go sideways
(13:35) The Dadvisory Board: treating fatherhood like a career
(18:19) Building deeper friendships: courage and the vulnerability loop
(21:36) Why dads struggle to ask for help
(27:10) Paternal postpartum depression: Kevin's own story
(34:37) Designing a life around family first
(38:21) Work-life "fried egg" instead of work-life balance
(44:09) Managing the mental load and the 80/20 co-parenting rule
(49:39) Three eras of scarcity: money, time, and health
(1:00:07) Shark Vader: using AI to spark kids' imagination
(1:04:51) Lightning round: Yoto players, Home Alone, and minivans

Resources From This Episode:

The New Fatherhood: https://www.newfatherhood.com/
Bluey (TV Series): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7846844/
Modern Family (TV Series): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1442437/
The Simpsons (TV Series): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096697/
Little House on the Prairie (TV Series): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071007/
Waking Up App (Sam Harris): https://www.wakingup.com/
Yoto Player: https://us.yotoplay.com/
Huckleberry App: https://huckleberrycare.com/
Star Wars: Rogue One (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3748528/
Home Alone (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099785/
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103064/
Avengers: Endgame (Film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154796/

—

Support Startup Dad

For sponsorship inquiries, email: podcast@fishmana.com
For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com