Ridiculous Crime

Helen Duncan had a gift. She told the world that the gift was the ability to communicate with the dead and see the future. Her real talent was puking up swatches of fabric and brawling with clients. Either way, people paid to see her act. But then she messed with the Royal Navy in wartime, and that never ends well. She could see the future, but she didn't have getting tried as a witch on her spiritual bingo card.
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The City of Everglade City was founded by smugglers, so it should be no surprise that a century later, the locals kept that tradition going. Only by then, they'd moved on to pot smuggling. It was a highly lucrative profession, far more than fishing or crabbing, but pot smuggling was also highly illegal. Never the less, the locals were enjoying their lawless ways, right up until the feds caught wind of the overwhelming size and scale of the south Florida dope game. But while those good times rolled, what a high time the whole town enjoyed.
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Maps are beautiful, functional works of art. Even the most utilitarian paper map has its charms. But when a map has historical value, it can fetch an incredible amount. Which, of course, makes them catnip for crimers. Come navigate the world of fake maps, stolen maps, collectors, and dedicated cons.
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The police of Philadelphia were flummoxed by a new crime trend. As the crime statistics in the city were falling, one category of crime was spiking. And it was all thanks to a crew of beef pirates. The bucaneers of the tri-state area were constantly hitting big rigs and making off with highly valuable loot. The police launched Operation Beef Bandit to combat the thieves. But really it was Instagram that spelled doom for the larcenous beef burglars.
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A poet named Ern, so they say/Wrote verses that dazzled one day/But Ern, it turned out, was a hoax, past a doubt/Cooked up by two dorks just for play!
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