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Exploring the Impact of Societal Pressures, Cultural Differences, & Trauma on Communicative Intent In this episode, Ayelet Marinovich and Jess Burchiel discuss the importance of communicative intent and access to communication as a human right. Jess, a speech-language pathologist, shares her experiences working with children, emphasizing the value of responsive parenting and the challenges parents face in recognizing their children’s communicative actions. We talk about: Communicative intent and Early Intervention Challenges in recognizing communicative intent The importance of slowing down and noticing each other, valuing all forms of communication How communicative intent is connected to broader social issues, and communication as a human right The impact of cultural differences, societal pressures, and trauma on communication We look forward to hearing the ways in which this conversation sparked your curiosity, and what new questions arise from listening! Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® Podcast episode: Assuming Intentionality – How to Respond to Early Communication Connect Learn Play – Digital / Printable infant, toddler, and pre-school aged ideas to provide simple, enriching ways to support early development through play, language, music, and movement – using everyday items – helping you Learn With Less®! The Learn With Less® Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint Lead caregiver/baby groups using the Learn With Less® curriculum by becoming a licensed facilitator Book recommendation: How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life With Children Ages 2 – 7, by Joanna Faber Donate to Operation Olive Branch, a direct aid fund for families on the ground in Gaza Support Palestinian Liberation by learning more about the BDS or Boycott, Divest, Sanction movement which has strategic boycott targets for consumers Learn more about the root causes of violence in Palestine, we recommend you watch this short history video or read The Hundreds Year War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi Connect With Us Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Jess: Facebook / Instagram Text Transcript of the Episode Ayelet: Welcome to another episode of Learn With Less®. I’m here today with Jess Burchiel. Jess just told me that a great way to remember how to pronounce her last name is: it rhymes with Churchill. Hahaha. Jess, would you like to introduce folks a little bit to you & to the kind of work that you do? Jess: I would love that. Thank you. Hi. Good afternoon from the west coast. My pronouns are she/her, I live in Bellingham, Washington, on occupied Salish and Nooksack and lami territory. I’m a speech-language pathologist here at a private clinic. I’ve been working with kids young as 2, and as old as 25, for about four years here. For years before that, I worked at a small community hospital in the county. I don’t know, I love cats, and I really like my job! I really like doing what I do, what we do, which has been so wonderful to continue to know. Ayelet: Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, I’m really happy to have you for this recorded conversation. You and I have been in touch over the last year and a half or so, mostly over social media. More recently, we’ve been in actual conversation with synchronous face to face contact, which is lovely. It’s been about a number of topics. These are including and not limited to: communicative intent, access to communication, the fact that everyone deserves access to communication, communication as a human right, human rights in general. We’re both Jewish or Jewish adjacent, and quite outspoken within the movement for Palestinian Liberation and what is happening in Gaza and The West Bank. Really looking at how we communicate, what is being communicated, communicative intent, looking at the full spectrum of communication here, from both a political lens and a education lens. And as we all know, everything is political at the end of the day. So with that all said, let’s start there, right? Jess: Let’s start there. I really gravitate to people who have a passion for what we do, for people who are internally curious about we do and how we do it. In particular now in the last year & a half, for people who are willing to speak up and say hard things. I think that is required of us, and I’m really excited to ask you some questions about communicative intent today. What do you think? Ayelet: I love it. I want to start just because before we hit the record button, we were doing a nice little grounding practice. As we sit here recording, it’s spring break. I have kids at home. They’re in the other room doing “video game camp” in the living room. And it’s been a day, it’s been a week. Let’s get on the same page here. Let’s ground ourselves. And Jess, you were introducing this lovely exercise, and I was wondering if we could just start with that, as well. Grounding Exercise and Initial Discussion Jess: A quick note, this is a grounding exercises, very new for me. It’s very much something I don’t want to do, which is why I’m trying to lean into it. I borrowed it directly from my therapist, who’s very much grounded in Buddhist teaching. As people who’re very busy and often disconnected, one of the hardest things is just to slow down and stop. We’re going to do that by, me and you & everyone who’s listening, taking a second, truly, to put your feet on the ground. Feel your feet on the ground, and take a couple deep breaths. Maybe I’m going to ask myself and you to identify a sensation in your body, and I’ll do the same. I will name mine as my heart is racing a little bit. I can taste the cupcake that a kid gave me this morning in the back of my mouth. Yeah. How about you? Ayelet: I’m feeling some congestion in my nose and throat. I have celebrated a birthday of one of my children this weekend. I had a nine year old literally fall directly into my face while coughing. Oh yeah, it’s very cute. I’m just feeling some tightness in my back, looking forward to just getting to connect and talk today. So some ease in my belly and openness in my solar plexus. Jess, thank you. Communicative Intent and Early Intervention So you had emailed me and you had asked about resources, thoughts, ideas around communicative intent. I’m going to open up this email, if that’s alright with you, as I read it out loud. So you had said, “I’m sure you’ve spoken about this countless times. Along with our mental health therapist, I am co-leading a support group for families with autistic kids. Something that came up last meeting was the concept that everything kids do has a communicative value. I think this is a really simple concept, but it seemed more challenging to go into depth about this with parents”. You’d said, “I’m wondering if there is a specific resource or podcast episode of yours that might help explain this concept to parents.” I had shared with you that, yes, in fact, I do I have a podcast episode about this. It’s called Assuming Intentionality, Responding to Early Communication. And of course, so much of what I focus on here at Learn With Less® is with early intervention… Those earliest years of infancy and toddlerhood, zero to three. A lot is focused on parent education. Also educators and or therapists who are serving that population. This is both in a family centered approach or just the kids or just the parents. That was the nuts & bolts focus of that episode, but I want to hear anything that was helpful around listening. Before we started recording, we started talking about how so much of looking at communicative intent and assuming intentionality, assuming that there is intent behind any action, essentially, is that it actually doesn’t matter what age the child is. You and I share a lot of experience, having worked with autistic kids. We’ve both worked with assistive technology, specifically augmentative & alternative communication. Utilizing assistive technology within the realm of communication might look like a speech generating device that’s high tech. It might look like a picture based or visual communication system. You and I have both utilized things like that within our work. I want to hear what was helpful for you, specifically with your work, looking at the episode that I directed you to. Also, what else do you want to talk about? Challenges in Recognizing Communicative Intent Jess: Oh, man. Okay, so my favorite takeaway was that there is an evidence base for responsive parenting. I love being able to say, “this is what the science says” when parents are asking me questions about how to help their kids talk more. And that’s not something I’ve read into! I know that more responsive parents tend… I’ve just seen that that they tend, their children tend to communicate more. That almost seems self evident, but to know that that is what the evidence shows was really good. I was like, Okay, I can look at this. I can be able to say that confidently, even if it seems obvious. This brings me to my questions that I want to talk about with you. Would you agree that it seems pretty obvious that responsive parents have more communication coming out of their kids? Does that seem to you an obvious thing, or was it a surprise to you? Or do you even agree with that? Ayelet: In my own personal experiences, both as a mother & in my professional experiences as a speech language therapist. Yes, I have, I have found that to be the case. I think primarily the reason is because joint attention& and communicating for a social purpose of any kind… Turn taking begets more turn taking! Once we have that skill, we see that oh, I say something. You say something. I look at something. You look at something. I reach out for something. You name it. I hand it to you. You say, thank you. It’s a continuous response, whether those responses are verbal or not. I think that is the piece. What I have found is that when any human feels heard, feels acknowledged and seen and supported, then they’re going to continue along that path. They’re they’re going to continue to have those attempts to to want more, because that is an innate human need. Jess: Yeah, so here’s my question. Well, maybe it’s another question. My experience… all of that resonates with me. It feels very natural. It feels very human, like we are communicating to kids and validating what they communicate back. What I’ve seen be a challenge is that sometimes… I feel like the challenge there is shifting the mindset of parents. And I’m wondering if my questions circle around that, specifically. What do you think gets in the way or prevents us, caregivers, parents, from recognizing that all communication has value. Recognizing that there is communicative intent happening. Like, what do you think gets in the way? Ayelet: That is, what a great question. Jess: Yeah, I thought, Okay, so why… that’s my pathology brain. Like, okay, we see a problem. Why? Ayelet: Right? What is getting in the way? I love that. I think that could be the title of our episode! Jess: Yes, what gets in the way? What prevents us from recognizing the communicative intent of children? Ayelet: Yeah, well, many things. First of all, I think in many ways, a lot of it comes down to time, energy, effort, education, understanding. Not just about child development, but about actually sitting with and being with and recognizing, again, basic human needs. And I think that some of this is because we are very busy as humans, right? We’re “keeping up with the Joneses,” whether or not we’ve opted out of multiple things. We are often trying to manage a home and a family. Maybe a co-parent or caregiver, and at least a job and all of the things. We want to feel like we have enough in a society that is built around needing to be more, do more, & buy more. So here’s the easy answer, we’re not going to be perfect. It’s impossible, right? This is a supremacist ideology. I think that’s part of it. I also think a big part of it has to do with what we are told is communication. What is valid and valuable. There’s so much pressure on many parents and caregivers to be raising the best child possible. So many people in our society value academic language, politeness markers. I think that’s a big part of it, too. So how that comes out often can be in the form of parents and caregivers sometimes sort of getting into that stuckness, of the interrogation: What’s this? What’s that, what’s this, what’s that? For the specific purpose of labeling, for this sort of performance: show me what you know. This, again, you’re not a bad parent for doing that. None of us are. I’ve done it! Jess: I do it all the time! Ayelet: We do it because we want our kids, our clients, to show us what they’re able to do, & to feel successful. Also, we want to make sure that we’re not just communicating for one specific purpose. We want to give our little people, or not so little people, in some cases, the opportunities to engage in communicative acts for a variety of purposes. Sometimes to protest, to request a social routine. Sometimes to greet, sometimes to acknowledge, sometimes to request an object – so many different pieces! I think what’s really important is to recognize that all of those (and so many more!) communicative acts can be done without speaking a single actual word. Jess: Absolutely. Ayelet: That is an attuning, I think. For many parents & caregivers who are not thinking about how their often pre or non-speaking child is communicating. For an educator how their student, for instance, is communicating. They’re looking at a particular piece & not taking the time to ground themselves. Not taking the time to really look at all of the whole environment, themselves. At them as the respondent, what the setting is, what’s happening around them, what the child might be interested in. I have an example, a memory that I have from when my own eldest was about a year old. I remember my mom was visiting. We had gone out to a meal, just the three of us. Myself, my child, and my mom. My kid was, at that time, very early stages, making one word utterances. He was reaching out, sort of pointing. Looking at somebody over in the restaurant. He said, “tah!” And I was like, oh, okay, yep, there’s a person over there. That’s their head, cool. And my mom, it was my mom, who realized, is he saying “hat?” The person was not actually wearing hat, they were wearing a head scarf. It was just so interesting because, as you may know, my go to with anything is: anything can be a hat, right? So then we grab the napkin from the table. We’re putting it around our heads & saying, Oh, is this a hat? This is like a hat. It’s a scarf. And he said “tah!” again. He repeated his word! He’s switching the consonants, but he was saying it. He was saying hat. Anyway, it just it was one of those experiences that you’re like, oh, wow, cool. This is a child who is absolutely paying attention to what’s happening. Is actually assigning a a symbolic language, a word. It’s a matter of looking at the environment, looking at the setting. Looking at what’s interesting to the child, looking at where the child is gesturing. Looking at how they’re doing it, what they might be commenting on. Deducing, “detectiveing,” investigating what is happening here, and only then might you notice. And then we had a whole conversation about it, and we played with the napkin, and we… Yeah, it just like, what a what a lovely thing. And if my mom hadn’t been there, I would have missed it, right? So we’re never going to be able to get it all the time. That’s an important thing to say as well. Jess: Yeah, I suppose, that perfectionism like, “Oh no, I missed it, It’s my fault.” One of my favorite books is “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.” There’s one for littles and one for older kids. That is one of their things. The best thing about being a parent is you have a million chances to do it again. You will never run out of chances to try again and do better. I am not a parent. Sometimes, I think that’s a good perspective to have, because it makes me have more questions about parenting. But that’s absolutely true. I think that it’s really funny, actually. We started out today by slowing down and noticing. I think that is actually what the answer to my question is, to some degree. We got there. It honestly took only about 10 minutes to get to! We all live under a supremacist capitalist system that puts pressures on us. External pressures that we are all subject to, and it is challenging. I really want to validate that to parents. It’s challenging to slow down and notice because you don’t always know! There’s a lot of that external pressure. One thing that I’ll do with parents, that I just started doing… I will have them playing with their kid. Playing in the way that (we know that it’s so much more than that), but also just play. And I’ll just sit them down. I’ll give them a piece of paper & say: I just want you to write down what you notice. Just as a practice. Even then, parents are like, Oh no, it’s a test. I’m like, nope, not a test. This is just practicing noticing. It is a hard thing to do. Ayelet: So hard, especially if you are not practiced in this. Importance of Slowing Down and Noticing Jess: Another thing that that came up for me in my “noticing practice,” which is also very new… If it’s hard, then find the smallest step that’s easy that you can do. If noticing is hard, maybe just trying to slow down for a millisecond, that’s all you can do. That’s fine. Again. It’s not about perfection. Ayelet: It’s such an important piece of what we do. That slowing down, having dedicated time doing being in a practice of doing these things. It might be through play, through adding more language, just verbalizing, narrating, asking questions, answering your own rhetorical questions. Through musicality, whether it’s a rhythm or a nursery rhyme or a chant. Or play, or something you’re making up on the fly. Or whether it’s through movement, practicing visual awareness, perceptual awareness, practicing gross movement. Whether it’s a child with motor challenges. Or whether it’s a teeny tiny baby who is literally just trying to figure out where their body begins & ends in space. Whether it’s anybody in between. All of these pillars within the context of Learn With Less® of play, talk, sing, move, are, to me, those kinds of interactions that really give the opportunity for parents and caregivers. Also for educators and therapists, to do that work. To slow down, to attend, to acknowledge, to investigate, to pay attention. For instance, in a Learn With Less® class, that is the majority of what a class is, for caregivers & babies. Whether it’s happening through a song activity, it’s literally just the activity. Often it’s, all right, here’s a tune. You may be familiar with it. Now we’re going to just input a word for what you see your child doing. Maybe what you are doing, what the object is, what’s happening. Mabye how it feels, whatever it is. Find a word that is in the context of this. Those are the words you’re going to sing on or chant on. That is such a major part of what myself and other Learn With Less® facilitators do. It gives that dynamic opportunity for caregivers to notice. To do that work, of purposefully engaging in that way. Of course, you can do that in a therapy session. You can do that with your own child. You can do that in a educational setting, whatever it is. But yeah, just as an example having that practice of slowing down. Being intentional as a caregiver or practitioner so that a child can know that that is valued here. Jess: The words that come out of our mouth tell our kids what is valuable to us. I often… what I think… I don’t know how much time we have, and have so much I want to say about this! But I’ll just say that I find that one of the things I say over & over & over again when I talk to parents is… I want you to be thinking about directing their attention to where their child’s attention is. I’m often working with kids who are older, non-speaking. We’re working on the same things. Trying to engage together and validate all communication. I have to work pretty hard to sometimes get parents to attend to what their child’s attending to. To join in, rather than pull their child away to something else. I started describing it as… I want you to imagine that your kid has a minor’s headlamp and it’s on whatever they’re focusing on. Ayelet: I love that visual! Jess: They’re wearing that hat. And any word coming out of your mouth, it better be about what’s in that light. I want you to fill their world with words that show that you are attending to what they’re attending to. For kids when we say they don’t pay attention, or they’re not coming over to play. I’m like, okay, that’s fine. Our job right now, going back to that investigator, detective is to know what they’re focusing on. To know where their attention is. To attend to that with the phenomenal blessing that is our language skills as mature adults. I say that a lot! I think we’re already talking about the second question. What are the challenges that we have in shifting parent perspectives on this? We’re raised as we’re raised. We have our own experiences and expectations and different pressures on us from the world. A lot of valid fear from parents that if their kid doesn’t measure up, they will be subject to discrimination, harassment, violence. Especially if, I mean, I’m white. Marginalized families absolutely have more reason to be worried about what might happen. To want their child to meet certain expectations. But I’ve had success in saying, what are they looking at? Only talk about that as simple as that, that’s our practice for today. Ayelet: Yes! Also, parents ask all the time, how do I build my child’s attention skills? Jess: Oh, I could talk about attention for days. Ayelet: And that is, that’s how. Jess: Oh my gosh, that’s how. That’s how. Guess what? Sorry, you’ve got to talk about cars. Sorry, it’s boring! You want to build your child’s attention skills. Shout out to anybody out there saying that you can’t do that with anything other than attending to things that you like… Because that’s how it works. But, yeah, you gotta, maybe you gotta talk about minions forever. That’s how you build attention skills. I would say many of, if not most of the kids that I see. From a year and a half, all the way up to the oldest that I’ve seen… Attention is a component of it. That connects everything that we’re talking about today. When we talk about slowing down and noticing we are talking about resting our attention away from the million things out in the world and putting it on ourselves. And that’s that’s hard, that’s really hard. But when we’re supporting that with our kids, with our language, we’re helping them have the language to do that for themselves. Ayelet: Does that feel complete, Jess? I mean, for now? Jess: We could talk about all this stuff that I want to talk about. I feel like that’s yeah, that specific note, anyway, yeah, for sure, yeah. Connecting Communicative Intent to Broader Issues Ayelet: I want to talk about the fact that every one deserves a communication as a human right. Everyone deserves access to communication… To being heard. Whether that is your literal words, whether that is your viewpoints. Whether that is your narrative, what you are experiencing in the world. I think when we as healthcare, educational professionals are talking about the importance of this and not speaking out about those who are not receiving access to that, whose whose narratives, whose stories are not being told or are not being heard or are being gaslit, then we are doing a real disservice. You and I started to engage and interact one on one together through work around collective liberation and Palestinian human rights. I wonder, how can we connect these two things? Because they are absolutely related. Jess: Yeah, a couple of things. A, it is our job to as as much for our patients and our clients and our families. It is our job to be informed and be able to connect the dots for them. It is our job as people who live in the West, people who have privilege, to educate ourselves so that we can connect the dots. We have access to so much information, I believe we are required to do that. To lean in to when we notice that there’s perhaps a gap in our knowledge. Perhaps a disconnect between our values and our actions. That gets into real discomfort. I think that that’s probably something we’ve all experienced to a small degree. But when you practice medicine, as we do… If you work in education, if you work, gosh, in so many different areas, you swear to some values in medicine. We say that those values are universal. Like you said, communication is a human right. We have to be able to step back and be able to recognize that if we have these values and yet, we are able to look away from people whose rights are being violated in ways as horrific as genocide… We have to be able to introspect about why that is, and understand what that might tell us about us. Not that it makes us awful, bad, nasty people. It makes us people who live in a world, and work on that. I believe that’s required of us, as well. It’s not fun. And another thing that I’ll share with you that’s just directly read from my therapy. Speaking up and doing the right things, speaking up for rights, for human rights, for communication, for health care, for access to food and water, for the right to simply tell your own story. Doing the right thing doesn’t get you claps. It doesn’t get you cookies. Ayelet: And often comes at a cost. Jess: It often does. I was raised in a church, Protestant. I grew up with the mythology of Jesus who did all the right things. The mythology of what happened to that person. We have a very good example here in Christian culture. I’m atheist now, but that’s something most of us know. And yet I think that we think that it should be easy to connect the dots. To notice those uncomfortable things. To have those uncomfortable conversations, and it’s not. And that’s okay, and it’s okay, like you said, to not be perfect with it. I think that’s maybe another really important one. Ayelet: One of the things that is just feeling very alive in me, and that’s coming up from what you’re talking about, too, that very much connects all of this, is the idea of dehumanization. The idea of all communication being valid, all bodies being valid. When we only value certain people, certain neurotypes, certain bodies, certain lineages, certain ethnicities, certain identities, that is how we dehumanize others. And unless we understand that, in the case of a child who is either pre verbal or non speaking, that all of that is valid. There is value in all of those humans and all of those modes and modalities of communication. When we prioritize one over another, or only value one over another, that is how we end up in hierarchy. In systematic oppression and oppressive tendencies. And so until we are doing that work of understanding that base level of, “what is the ideology? What do we believe about certain people versus certain others?” Unless we’ve done that hard work, then we’re never going to see even the level of dehumanization that’s possible. Jess: That is a really good point, that all of these ideologies come from somewhere. None of them are natural. They’re learned. They’re all learned. And that undoing that starts with the relationships we have around each other. What more important relationship than when you have with your family and your children? Ayelet: Yeah, your community. Jess: It’s really hard to talk about. I find it really hard to talk about what I do and how I’m trying to help families without talking about big stuff. I think that that means that I’m doing it right. Even if it feels like I don’t quite know where it’s going. Sometimes I feel like… I don’t know if I said it already today, but that we’re pathologists for a reason. Our job is to figure out what is the source of the problems… Rather than spot treating like what’s the root cause of what we’re seeing. And that’s a lot, and if we work on that, it’s a lot more efficient. Yes, and that applies to the culture we live in and the world we’re in. Ayelet: Absolutely. What else would you like to talk about here today, Jess? Cultural Differences in Communicative Intent Jess: I’ve got one more metaphor for you, if you want it, that I use a lot. Let’s see, the questions that I wrote down, we pretty much covered. In shifting parents framework, another thing that has been helpful is to talk about what speech therapy for articulation is, which is what we often people think of as speech therapy. Get them to say it right, which is a thing that I do and do quite well. But that’s quite different than communication therapy, if you want to call it that. And I describe them as different in that working on sounds is like kind of being a car mechanic. They got some… not broken pieces, but pieces that aren’t working quite right and need a little jiggle, tinkering. With the right approach, I can reach in and just fix it, six months or so. I can do that versus supporting a child’s language development, which is a wholly different thing. And I describe that as gardening, because can you pull a plant out of the ground? Can you force it to grow? No, you have plants, and maybe a certain plant is struggling. If you want it to grow, you have to make that ground be as fertile as humanly possible. Ayelet: You have to shift the environment. Tend to the environment. Make sure it’s in the right setting. Look at the context for everything. Give it the right amount of attention for it to thrive. And you are good with these metaphors! Jess: Another thing I was going to ask you about. So we’re talking about recognizing communicative intent and all of this stuff that ties back into like culture and expectations. I lived in the Pacific Northwest for my whole life. White English speaking, European ancestors. Very much like a monoculture here. I had a parent tell me when I was talking about some of this. Talking about descriptive language or something like that, parallel narrative talk and all that stuff. And she was like, Oh yeah, that’s what we do all the time. We’re Japanese. And I realized, I don’t know how much of this is just particular to my culture! I’m wondering if there are cultural differences, or, I mean, cultures that do this differently or better, or maybe we don’t know at all. Ayelet: I mean, I think what I tend to look at, or what I’ve noticed the most, are different kinds of patterns more around… Well, okay, a couple things. One is, I look a lot around at what kinds of caregiver relationships there are available to a child. Whether it’s just a nuclear family, or an extended family where you have lots of different adult and child or peer relationships. That’s something that I think you find often with more immigrant experiences. Or folks who are closer to an immigrant experience, regardless of, for instance, where family is from. And then another piece is looking at trauma! What is available to a caregiver in terms of how much of themselves can be present and attentive. I mean, that is a huge piece. It can come out in some moments and not others. But definitely is connected to the ways that we watch family dynamics play out. Jess: That’s actually, it’s maybe that’s a nice button. That’s making me think of the reason that I reached out to you about communicative intent. It’s what you just said about trauma, because my clinic, we’re very small, but we got a grant. We’re able to pay ourselves and some childcare folks to do a support group for families of autistic kids. They can come and bring their kids. We put them in one corner of the building. Everybody else hangs out. We turn the lights off when everybody gets to sit on the squishy pillows. It’s great, and it’s led by a mental health therapist. I wasn’t quite sure what it was going to look like. It is basically an hour of stress management techniques, just basics. Ayelet: That’s great. Jess: It is. And I’m thinking about what you just said about trauma and again, root causes. If we’re trying to work on what’s the root cause of difficulty, being able to slow it down or having the time to notice that’s a huge part. Not everybody has access to the support for that. But that is why we’re talking today. Ayelet: Yeah. And that absolutely is something that, number one can get in the way. It has the potential to get in the way of that connection, of seeing the communication in of itself. Also just gets in the way in general, between humans. When we don’t have access to the tools to reconcile, repair, heal, face traumatic experiences in our own lives… We are essentially bound to either get into similar experiences. We are bound to repeat them on ourselves, or enact them on others. Heavy stuff, heavy stuff, the stuff of life. Jess: The stuff of life. It is the human experience. Ayelet: Thanks so much. Jess, what a great conversation. I can’t wait to hear what other folks are taking away from this. Jess: Oh my gosh, this is like giving me so many other good questions and food for thought, too. Thank you. Ayelet: I love connecting with other professionals and listening to how they explain similar concepts! There’s always another little key ingredient that we can take away from each other. There’s so much value in having that sort of network of support listening to each other. Jess: We get so siloed, it’s the classic speech pathologist thing. I really appreciate this. This has been wonderful! Ayelet: Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here. Jess: You too! Ayelet: Yeah, thanks. All right, let’s leave it there. The post What Gets In The Way of Recognizing That All Communication Has Value? An episode with Jess Burchiel, M.A., CCC-SLP appeared first on Learn With Less.

A Co-Production from Learn With Less® and the Play On Words Podcast Are you constantly wondering if you’re doing enough as a parent? Do you feel pressure to “get it right” when it comes to your baby or toddler’s development? In this episode, In this co-produced episode, of the “Play On Words” podcast and the Learn With Less®” podcast, Ayelet Marinovich of Learn With Less® joins host Beth Gaskill of Big City Readers. Ayelet Marinovich is a pediatric speech-language pathologist, parent educator, & founder of Learn With Less®. She’s the author of Understanding Your Baby & Understanding Your Toddler, 2 incredible resources that remind parents: you don’t need fancy toys or complicated activities—your everyday interactions are already powerful learning moments. We talk about:🧠 Why you don’t need more stuff to help your child learn✨ How to feel confident that you’re doing “enough”👶 The surprising ways babies and toddlers learn best📚 Simple, evidence-based ways to support early development🎵 Why everyday routines (yes, even diaper changes!) are packed with learning opportunities If you’ve ever doubted yourself as a parent, this episode is your reminder: you are enough. 💛 Helpful Resources Related to This Episode The Learn With Less® Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint Ayelet’s books: Understanding Your Baby & Understanding Your Toddler Connect Learn Play – Digital / Printable infant, toddler, and pre-school aged ideas to provide simple, enriching ways to support early development through play, language, music, and movement – using everyday items – helping you Learn With Less®! Learn With Less® Fundamentals Course Big City Readers Courses Ayelet’s Musical Album, Strength In Words: Music For Families Connect With Us Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Beth: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Beth: Welcome back to the Play On Words podcast. I am so excited and a little bit nervous today to have Ayelet Marinovich here from Learn With Less® to talk about: Do kids really need toys to learn and thrive? If you don’t know Ayelet, she is a child development guru, parent, play based learning specialist, and speech therapist too, right? So many things, I’ll let you introduce yourself, but this is an episode (I already know) is going to be so great. So welcome to the show. Ayelet: Thank you so much for having me. Beth. It’s great to be here. Yay. Beth: Okay, so tell us a little bit about you and Learn With Less® for the people who might not know you! Ayelet: Sure. So again, I’m Ayelet. I have been a speech and language therapist since, gosh, 2009 / 2010. When I became a mom in 2014, I was far from where I grew up, which was here in California. My partner and I had moved to London, and so I was pregnant and had my first child there, across the pond. I was really looking for, number one, community. Number two, a way to utilize the knowledge that I have in my professional arena, and connect that with creating connection points with other new families. So I started leading caregiver and baby classes with my own child, just in my community, out of our home. I loved it so much because it was an opportunity to connect, to bring people together and, again, to share information that at least I knew. Obviously, the overwhelm of early parenthood is intense, and this was a place that I could feel confident. I could feel at least a little bit less vulnerable and and really share that information with other new parents and caregivers who I knew were feeling the same way. I just started leading these groups, and really facilitating these groups and utilizing that knowledge, and just expanding on the kinds of questions that I was getting and asking myself. What can I do to support and connect with this teeny, tiny human in my world? And yeah, that’s, that’s how it came to be. Beth: Wow. And so now, are you still leading them, or are you mostly training and coaching other people to lead them? Ayelet: Yeah, primarily I license and support other educator and therapist types to utilize the curriculum that I developed, to use in their own communities. This is amazing because it expands the impact that I can have exponentially, and really allows me to feel like I’m putting something into the world that is healing and helpful. Beth: It is. I even like the song on your podcast. Is that in – do you sing that in the class? Hello, everybody, I get it stuck in my head when I’m listening. I love singing it in my own house, like when I’m making dinner. So, okay, do you do miss teaching the in-person or the actual “caregiver & me” classes? Now that’s my growing pain, too: You want to have a bigger reach, but you kind of have to give a little! Ayelet: Yeah, and I do from time to time, often offer them virtually! I mean, it’s funny, right? Because when I started the licensing program, it was February of 2020, so there was, of course, a big switch to, I now need to ensure that other folks also are able to lead these virtually. I had actually been doing this since 2017 myself, for a variety of reasons. There has always been a need for virtual connection, and always will be. So I do still lead classes from time to time, especially when I’m getting that itch. Beth: Oh good, that’s kind of how I do it, too. I was just talking with someone yesterday, and they said, so you don’t get to be with kids anymore? I answered, No, I still do. I do, say, a once a month meetup, but it’s so hard because you think to yourself, I want to reach every kid and family! I think we align a lot on that – that is my big focus: community for families, whether they’re in school or in the baby stage. Originally I started because I saw so many parents having struggles with knowing how to advocate for their child in an IEP meeting, or like things like that. There needs to be a bridge between school and home: how to find your community, asked the right resources… and then my work expanded to people who don’t need IEPs! Yeah, it’s such a need. Community is such an important part of being a parent! Ayelet: Yes, especially in these uncertain times. Beth: I know! Every post I do, I ask myself, does this matter? The world is on fire! I know you are a big advocate of using what you have. I mean, your literal company is called Learn With Less®, right? I once posted something many years ago, and I still think about it, because I kind of got in trouble, but I posted something that a popular toy subscription company had sent me – this little toy that was a box and it had tissues in it, and you pull them out. I was like, so cute. And I made a post that said, and also, this actual box of tissues does the exact same thing. There’s no need to buy this. Ayelet: I literally have one sitting behind me, yes! Beth: The reason I got in trouble is because a toy store owner said, I’m so mad at you! but I said, I’m sorry, there’s enough for people that want to buy toys and people to know that they don’t need, too. So can you talk a little bit about what role toys actually play in child development? What Role Do Toys Play in Child Development? Ayelet: I mean, first of all, I like to say this whole the baby industry is sort of a “The Emperor has no toys” situation, right? I am not anti toy. My children have always had toys, either that I have bought or that other family members or people in our community have given them. But my my kids also have always known that the wooden spoon and the paper towel roll are equally as entertaining and an equally valid developmental tool. The power of any tool or toy is not inherently on the box that says “this is an educational toy.” Anyone can put that tag on, say, cupcake liner and say “educational toy.” It’s the actual interaction with that toy and with others that makes the difference. I think it also really comes down to the power of connection! And at Learn With Less®, we have four pillars that we want to define around creating more connection, more opportunities for interaction, more vocabulary, more modeling, more reciprocity. So those are, as I define them here at Learn With Less®, play, talk, sing and move. And I’m happy to go into that, if you’d like. Beth: Oh, please! How Does Play Support Early Learning? Ayelet: Yeah! So around play, we want to define that with attention to the following principles. First, open ended play, meaning we want to encourage caregivers to really engage in the exploration of the environment and everyday objects. Also, being playful can simply mean exploring, experimenting, offering varied environments and varying objects! Most importantly, we want to actually help the adults in the room see that being playful is a different way of looking at what we as grown ups come to define as play. Many adults in the room come into the idea of playing with their child as following set of rules. For instance, we hit the ball, we run, we score. Or it can be thought of as a procedural exercise: we open the book, we read the page, we turn the page, repeat. Encouraging caregivers to play with no specific end goal in mind can really require them to reframe their entire thinking. I think a lot of your audience are educators or therapists, as well. So in a therapeutic context, you’re going to want to weave whatever skill you’re working on into the play. For instance, it might be that a professional is working on turn taking, eye gaze, joint attention, imitation, first words, or gesture use. We want to encourage and create an environment where that caregiver is encouraged to be flexible and accepting of what is happening, what might happen next, and what their child is doing. Finally, within that play, we want to ensure safety with a variety of materials. Beth: Yeah. So, okay, I’m imagining. I always try to work on remembering that not everyone has all of the information. If I’m the furthest point out, I’m imagining that I’m a parent. So how do I play with my kid? Say, I’m sitting in my living room and we have I’m drinking my coffee, and he likes the plastic lid that I took off from the coffee shop we stopped at this morning. How do we play with that? I think a lot of parents also think that play means I have to “be silly,” which I think maybe we can correct that. I think people want a specific goal. So if they’re asking, so what do, how do I pick what topic I want to do with this lid? And, you know, then they just get stuck. Do I just say, the lid is on my head? Ayelet: Well, actually, yeah, I mean, my default is always… everything is a hat! Beth: Okay, so that is a good move. Ayelet: It’s a great method, yeah! I mean, it’s really about following the child’s lead. If your child is interested in that plastic lid, then, yeah, what are they doing with it? All you need to do is talk about what they’re doing, how are they engaging with it? Oh, it’s light! Yep, you can pick it up. I wonder if there’s something heavy over here? Just speak about what they are doing with it, or how it feels, or what it looks like. Engage with that. Of course, we can always expand, meaning take what they are doing and add more language. I can imagine say, pushing a finger down and sort of popping it up. There’s so much that we can either lead with and model, or simply just follow what our child is doing and how they are interested in it. Beth: I love it. Okay, that’s easy. Do you have a time frame around that? I know we would say, no, just follow their lead. But so many people ask, how long do I sit? Should I introduce something else? I think we’ve over analyzed things so much as a society that people feel like they’re not doing anything right. When actually, you’re worrying about it is the only problem! Ayelet: I think parenting is such a practice of of being able to sit with. I will be the first person to say that I absolutely still struggle with that. My kids are eight and 11 now. But I think it’s about paying attention to what’s happening in the environment. It’s looking at, is the child still engaged? Great. Continue to reinforce that engagement. Are they finding that they’re done? Great. We’re all done with this. We can move on to the next thing. And like you said, it’s very hard, I think, for families to trust themselves. So much about of what this is all about, what I try to achieve at Learn With Less®, is fostering confidence and competence. It’s about helping families feel confident and competent that they can be with, and facilitate, and engage in play. The means to do that are often through these four pillars of play, talk, sing, move, which are again, just an open ended opportunity to enjoy your child for a few minutes. I think another thing is, like you said, people think that play is “I have to be silly. I have to do pretend play. I’m not good at that. I don’t want to do that. Or I don’t even have more than 10 minutes a day to dedicate to sitting and totally being present.” But I think the example you gave,Beth, is so good. Because it’s literally: Okay. I’ve sat down with this maybe lukewarm cup of coffee. I’m finally getting a few minutes to sit with it and with my child. So much can happen within those in between times. A lot of what I talk about at Learn With Less® is utilizing those everyday routines and tiny rituals of the day. That’s your gold! We don’t need to necessarily dedicate 20 minutes a day just sitting with our child. We are literally doing it during a diaper change, when you’re putting your child’s shoes on or sweater on, when you are going out to get the mail. All of those little things are the opportunities! Beth: Those tiny moments are often the times we’re rushing through to get to the next part – but that’s when everything’s happening! I also when you were just talking, I thought, okay, I went from asking, people are going to ask, “what do I do?” Okay, so say they want to play with this lid, and can we give them play? And then when you renamed the pillars again, play, talk, sing and move, then, I got to thinking about what happens next! So maybe you’re pushing the lid, and then you’re going to chase it. Then you get it, and then you are popping the thing, and you’re going, “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top,” and just those little moments. So maybe walk us through, let’s keep this as the example, and through the rest of the pillars. How Do We Create A Language Rich Environment For Babies and Toddlers? Ayelet: Okay, so we’ve started with play, so then we can discuss talk. Like you said, “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top.” That’s both talk and sing! You’re saying vocabulary and you’re making it into some rhyming scheme, you’re giving it a rhythm or a melody. So for talk, we want to remember that caregivers – just by having discussions with their potentially pre verbal baby or toddler, just by making those observations alongside their child, they’re creating a language rich environment. Let’s think about this idea of “repetition with variation” as the gold standard. That’s about helping them see the value in all those everyday experiences, like the diaper change or popping the lid of the coffee topper. These are all these are opportunities for repetition, because maybe you do go get a cup of coffee every morning. And tiny variations that you can make with a change of pace, with a change of attention, with the addition of a choice making opportunity, with a little song, like “pop, pop, pop goes the top” and so on. That’s it! We also want to help caregivers remember that the drill and kill kind of “what’s this? What’s this?” labeling that many parents sort of get stuck in, because they want their child to show them how much they know… This is just one of the many reasons we communicate! Labeling is just one way we can talk about things, but so is asking questions, making requests, greeting… You could hold up that lid and say hello, and then move the little topper that goes in and out and that can be its mouth. Suddenly you have a puppet! Oh my goodness, how cute! So many other parts of joint intentional acts, socially interactive acts, and behavioral regulation acts are all talk, creating that language rich environment. We all communicate using a variety of means and modes, not just with words! Remember alll those precursors to language, all those additional ways, like eye gaze, facial expressions, gestures, moving closer to an object. So maybe your child is pre verbal, and they’re not going to say something, but you might move that funny little top that’s become a puppet closer to their face, and they might move towards it too. Then all of a sudden, when they’re not expecting it, BOO! There’s so much that we can infuse with these silly little objects that often end up in our recycling containers, that are opportunities for engagement and modeling our own curiosity, talking about our own feelings, imitating their vocalizations, verbalizations, and movements. These are all supporting various areas of communication. And caregivers are the primary language models. They are the ones modeling what they want their child to then imitate. So we want to help them model a wonderful variation of vocabulary, and formation of sentences, etc. We also want them to model positive behavior of positive communication styles. We want them to talk to their children, around their children in the ways that you know they want them eventually to do the same to them. So that is how I sort of define talk. How to Use Musical Experiences to Support Early Development And then we have sing. Often, this is the one people have the most difficulty gathering the resources and just doing. I want to really encourage people to remember that this pillar of sing doesn’t necessarily mean singing a specific song with specific vocabulary, singing every day or in every way with their child. There’s so many ways to be musical, just like “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top,” because music is so powerful. Giving caregivers ways to feel at ease, trying things out, and giving children ways to trying things to try things out, by modeling our own imperfection, and using music to add a silly element to a simple routine. This coffee lid being a wonderful example. Another one might be the diaper change. STINKY DIAPER! It’s time for a new one! Or my personal favorite, that came out of a moment of brilliance. “Is there a poopoo in there / Is there a poopoo in there / Was it only air / Or is there poopoo in there? Beth: Oh my gosh. I love that. I think parents and caregivers need this permission that being silly actually is helpful! Ayelet: Yeah, right, when you have the capacity! Beth: Yes, yes. So I just thought about when you were using talk and sing to model both communication and stuff that you want them to do. I thought of the little tiny Tim song, the froggy. I had a little froggy / his name is Tiny Tim. I always do at the burp, he had a bubble in his throat, and we do a big burp, and then I always go, “and what should he say? Excuse me!” In those moments, because yeah, it can be fun to do Tiny Tim and there’s a lot of language benefits and literacy benefits and all of the things and that. But also, you can add in manners! There’s so much, I think, that people often also get lost in that questioning, what does a dog say? What does a cow say? I like to remind grown ups to try to think about yourself in conversations. Are you just asking questions? That’s not a good conversation! If you’re just asking a dozen questions at someone, that’s gonna get really boring for the other person! You have to leave that space for the dialog. I think that’s a good reminder. Ayelet: Sometimes just pausing at the end, towards the end of a sentence or a poem or a chant or a melody of a song is such an effective thing! And that’s actually, there’s a name for that. It’s called the cloze procedure, where you’re pausing and what do we do next? We… buckle our seat belt, or whatever it is. When you have that sort of repetition and routine, you you allow them to know, number one, what’s coming next, and number two, offer an opportunity for them to either verbally or gesturally, take the next step and fill in that gap. Beth: I love it. That is great. I also love to do that when I’m talking about teaching rhyming. I’m sure you know the book, Little Blue Truck. I could read it in my sleep. My examples always go, horn went beep / Engine purred / friendliest sound you ever…. And I always am coaching parents and teachers and caregivers that even if they’re not gonna know the rhyme yet, or even if they don’t, just leave a little bit of time, and then if the child is not saying it, then just fill it in. But giving that amount of time is going to help them start to realize, Oh, those two words are rhyming words. Oh, there’s a word that goes there. Oh, that’s not just one sentence, those are separate words… Ayelet: Yes! I mean, I’m just imagining this whole thing, and visually, I’m seeing myself cupping my hand against my ear. “Friendliest sound you ever…” put the hand against the ear, and that’s a gestural opportunity for someone, for a child who’s maybe non verbal, pre verbal, to to give that that gesture of “heard.” Beth: I love that. Okay, amazing. So then move is next, yeah, great. Tell us about move. How to Use Movement to Support Early Child Development Ayelet: Number one, movement is life. Their child learns about everything by learning how their body moves, where it is in space, by solving that problem of how to balance and lift, and figuring out elements of force & gravity, and of becoming the scientists that they are through movement. So we want to help caregivers remember that even with a tiny baby or a child with motor challenges, they can consider various movement planes. Whether it’s during tummy time or during a dance party or a lullaby, whether it’s to stimulate or to regulate. Also, exploration cannot be contained. It is learning. So we might have some movement in and out of the location where the session started. We might be sitting up or laying down on the floor. We might be mouthing something or exploring how one surface is different from the next. Movement is also connected to gesture, so pushing, pulling, raising a hand, waving all of those things. Even in that example, earlier that you were giving of pushing that coffee lid on on the floor, for instance, with a little toddler: you can have them flick it with their finger, or with their whole hand, or their the tops of their fingers, or with a foot. There’s so many ways to integrate movement, and we know that early gestural communication is also linked to this movement as well. It’s all connected. And I want to also just name out loud that all of these things, play, talk, sing, move. There’s overlap with all of them, of course. Just gonna say that. So it’s not like you can, you know, check one off the list and be done with it. It’s an ebb and flow. You’re always playing. All of this is play, but how can you infuse more playfulness, more language, more melody or rhythm or and more movement into your everyday moments with your child. Also, those four pillars are how we support cognition, communication, motor and sensory development and social/emotional development. That is how it happens! It’s sort of this developmental matrix that I like to talk about: there are ways that you can play that support cognition. There are ways that you can play that support communication. There are ways that you can play that support motor and sensory development, etc, etc. And then same goes for all of the other pieces. Beth: Yeah. I was just thinking, we love the song, zoom, zoom, zoom. And in that song, you’re doing all the things, because you’re doing, zoom, zoom, zooming. Yeah, we’re flying to the moon, and then when you do blast off and you lift the baby in the air, it’s playful, it’s movement. You’re flying them around the room, even the part if you want to take a trip, climb aboard my rocket ship, has talk in it. There’s singing… So if your baby wants you to sing, zoom, zoom, zoom 10 times. Guess what? You just did all of the components! Ayelet: Exactly. All you need to do. And maybe they’re telling you that they want you to do, zoom, zoom, zoom by moving their hands in that zooming way that is representative of that song. To me, it’s really, you know, it’s not about you getting to show off all your cute therapy toys or getting to use your laminator as a provider, but for every single material that you use as a provider or a therapist or educator, for instance, if you’re bringing something into the home or you’re providing materials within a group, or you’re using what’s already there, try to think of the most basic version. In our use of everyday items, we’re educating caregivers that they don’t need what you have, what you bring in, they can use what they already have in their own homes, regardless of how “much” or how “little” they have. Our caregivers are a diverse set of people and children who may or may not be accustomed to playing with a variety of materials. So I want to address this too, right? Folks maybe started a speech therapy session or a developmental class maybe already having spent the morning in a cardboard box or the kitchen cabinets. OR, that caregiver may be completely opposed to their child using their their kitchen as a play space, and that’s fine! That is their right. If they’re not comfortable, you find another way, another material, another space. Because, again, we’re building family capacity, family confidence and family competence. Beth: Amazing. So would you say, if, let’s say a therapist is listening to this. The question is: what is your favorite tool that you can find in someone’s house? A Speech Therapist’s All Time Favorite Developmental Tool In Your Home Ayelet: Ooh, the favorite? That’s a fun one. I think the salad spinner is one of my all-time faves. Beth: Wow, I was not expecting that! Ayelet: Yeah, my kids still, if they see the salad spinner… again, they are eight and 11 years old. They will take it out. They’ll just push down that topper. It’s such a fun, very regulating activity. The sound of it, the pushing of the topper is great. You can put things in, take them out, tap it. It goes round and round. There’s so much vocabulary. There so much opportunity for a musical element. It is a movement activity. Fine motor, yeah. Beth: Great one. Ayelet: And, of course, there are multiple levels of hats, right? The top is a hat, the bottom is a hat. The netting section is a hat. Beth: So, wow, lots of hats. Ayelet: When in doubt, it’s a hat. Beth: Yeah, when in doubt it’s a hat! Do you have any practical shifts you can give to caregivers to help them shift their mindset from entertaining their child to supporting independent play? How to Support Independent Play In Young Children Ayelet: building attention is done through helping children see the creative aspects within what they have in front of them. When you are engaging with those everyday objects, whether it’s the coffee lid or a diaper itself, or whatever it is you are helping them with, see the magic and the wonder in all of those things, and see the value in those things. What the research says is that one way to support attention and independence in young children is actually through engagement. So it’s a little bit counterintuitive, but that is literally what we can do. The more little moments that you can spend in engagement with your child, the the more actually that fosters their independence and their ability to see playful opportunities everywhere. Beth: Yes, that is in deep alignment with one thing that I I talk about. I have a course at Big City Readers, learn to draw, drawing to writing. It’s a progression, it starts with just drawing, and then you’re writing words. And some parents will say, Okay, I put it on and my child is it’s for four and five and six year olds. The child is watching it, but they’re not doing it. What should I do? I always say, set up two spots, put it on and don’t say anything. You just do the class. You sit and you draw with me, and you write with me. And you don’t need to invite them. They see that there’s a spot for them if they want to come over there, but show them that you’re doing it. If you’re like watching TV and you say, Okay, you do this, or you know you’re doing something. They want to be close to you. They want connection with you. So if you’re doing it and not pressuring them, they’re probably going to be interested in what you’re doing. Ayelet: Yes, absolutely. The Parental Pressures of Keeping Up With the Right Tools Beth: What advice would you give to parents or caregivers who feel pressure to keep up with trends of toys and things, especially with social media. I get a lot of messages saying, this new reading curriculum came out. Do I need it? My answer is: You have taken Big City Readers classes. Those are the tools you need. That tool that that new reading game, is not going to teach your child anything more than you know already! You don’t need another tool. You are the one that teaches your child. That tool is not magical. Do you have any advice on people that are trying to keep up? Ayelet: I mean number one, don’t be afraid to opt out. I’ve gotten much better at that over the years. Beth: Why is it so hard? How to Opt Out and Declutter Your Digital Landscape Ayelet: It is so hard because we live in a capitalist society that tells us that more and more and more is always better, that you need to be more, do more, and buy more to be the “best” parent or therapist that you can be. And the the the secret in that is that you do already have everything you need to support and connect with tiny humans in your life. That is the gold. And it is, it’s very hard to remember that. But if you need permission, here it is, you literally have everything you need. It’s probably in your recycling container. It’s in every single room in your home, and it’s everywhere that you go, if you are taking a walk with your tiny human, there is grass, there are spider webs, there are cracks in the concrete. All of that is, is the tool of supporting early language, early learning in general. Beth: Wow, I love it. I Okay. What would you say to the parent or caregiver who is overwhelmed by clutter? Where should they start in simplifying their play space. Ayelet: I’ve always been a big fan of toy rotation. Something children haven’t seen in a while suddenly takes on meaning and excitement and wonder, and it’s because they haven’t seen it in a while, or they forgot what joy it brought them. Even now , my 8 and 11 year old do this if they catch wind of a box we have in the garage that’s going to another family or for donation! Even if you have, say, a closed bin of stuff, or a closet full of stuff, bringing just a few things out at a time, and just observing your child, looking at what what is exciting for them or interesting to them. And if you want to do that on a weekly basis or a monthly basis, there’s no right way, again. That’s a good reminder: there’s no right way for any of this. Anyone who tells you that number one, they’re a parenting expert, or that this is the one, be all, end all solution, has something to sell you, right? I think really just reminding folks that they literally already have all of the tools they need, they probably need less than what they have depending on the family and community that we’re talking about. Just giving that permission to to Learn With Less®, is it. Beth: I think that’s a really good reminder. You have what it takes. You don’t need these extra things. It’s hard to remember, though! Ayelet: It is. Well, one of, one of the things that I want to offer to your audience is what I call the Learn With Less® infant and toddler development blueprint, which you can find at learnwithless.com/blueprint, and it goes through everything that we covered today. It’s everything around those four pillars of play, talk, sing, and move, how they connect to early development, and how you can support that. So that is a gift that I would be happy to share with your audience so you can keep it top of mind. Beth: I like to remember whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed by anything, not just in this developmental world, that social media – back to the keeping up thing – you wouldn’t have 200 people in your house talking to you and giving you advice. Scrolling and watching videos from 200 people saying you should do this. You should do this. I always like to suggest picking like the three to five people that really align with me right now doesn’t have to be forever. I say, you can unfollow me if I’m causing you stress, because you can’t, in this season, do these things with your child, but pick three to five and just focus on that and don’t look at anything else. Ayelet: Decluttering, decluttering that digital landscape is also an important piece. Beth: It is. I need to work on it as a daily practice. Ayelet: Yeah, for sure, I’m there with you. Beth: Ok, I have two questions for you that I like to ask my guests. The first is, what are you currently reading? Ayelet: Oh, what am I currently reading? Ooh, what am I currently reading! This is a good one. Beth: I surprised you with this, because, as we talked about before we started the podcast recording, I was asking, how do you keep up? You’ve been doing this for almost 10 years, and I forgot that I have segments, and because I haven’t been I’ve been so irregular. I realized, oh yeah, it’s been a month since I recorded an episode. I forgot. Ayelet: Yes, I’m reading a couple of books, which tends to happen. One is Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, a beautiful book. I’m listening to it on audio, and it’s her actually reading it. I love when that happens. Her subtitle is: indigenous wisdom, scientific knowledge and the teaching of plants. It’s a really beautiful book. Beth: Oh, that sounds amazing. Ayelet: Yeah. And then the other one is called the Trail Guide to the Torah of Non-Violence by Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb, who’s a wonderful Jewish spiritual leader and anti racist guide. So yeah, those two things on my reading list. Beth: Oh I may have to link those too. And okay, this one’s kind of tricky. So I’ll give you a minute if you need to think about it. But everyone that listens to this podcast seems to be from the same-ish generation. So I started asking, what is one thing that you miss about elementary school? It’s different now than it used to be. And you know, some people have said book covers. Lisa Frank pens have been mentioned. Oh, market days, which seems to be only certain population in the US had market days. Ayelet: I want to know what that is! Beth: It was a fundraiser for the school, like, once a month, and you could put an order for market days, and it was very novelty items, but not good at all, like french toast sticks and these little, tiny mini frozen pizzas. And it would raise money for the school. A percentage of the orders from market days would go to the school, and but only about 60% of people that I’ve mentioned that to knew what it was, and they’re like, Oh yeah, but the French go sticks from it were so good! Ayelet: That’s really funny. Two things come to mind. One, and this is ironic, because my eight year old is is now begging to do this, which we will do. Don’t worry. Lemonade stands.So bringing it back, yes. The other one… and maybe this is more, a little bit more middle school, but mix tapes. Beth: Yes, oh my gosh. I actually bought a used car a couple years ago, and there was a mixed CD in the and I found it like a year later. I was like, this is someone’s mixed tape! Ayelet: Yes, so much love and intentionality goes into that. Oh gosh, yes. You know, there’s always a good playlist, of course, but the actual sitting down. And again, I was born in 1981 so cassette tapes were my jam, literally. But sitting down, often recording a song from the radio literally going, pressing record at exactly the right time. Yeah, amazing. Beth: Yeah, wow. I do remember that, just like, brought me back. I remember what I had one that was written on it in pink marker. And I remember packing it to go to college, it was my favorite thing. Ayelet: Yes – I have one from summer camp back in the day that I still treasure. Beth: Oh, I love that. Wow. Where’d you go to summer camp? Ayelet: I went to Camp Tawonga, which is near Yosemite, yeah, fun place. Love it. Beth: Well, okay, thank you so much for being on this episode. I can’t wait to share it with everybody and link all of your things that you mentioned. Where can people find you? Ayelet: Yeah, at learnwithless.com, at Learn With Less® on all the social platforms, I hope! I mean, yeah, by the time this episode comes out. Yeah. I’m also on blue sky @learnwithless, as meta implodes, definitely at Learn With Less® you can find me almost everywhere, sharing information, ideas, permission to to put it down and opt out. And, yeah, lots of ideas and fun. I love social media because it literally can be so social. And so if you’re on there, and you hear this and want to connect, please do – love to chat with you in the DMs! Beth: Yay. Well thank you so much! Ayelet: Thank you, Beth! The post Am I Doing Enough? Understanding Your Baby & Toddler appeared first on Learn With Less.

You’ll always know how to support a young child’s development with a laundry basket, a cardboard box, or a dishtowel! On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet discusses how a simple shift in our understanding of what we can view as “educational materials” or “toys” can help us see how little we actually need to buy… And also how much power there is in opening up our own eyes to the wonder of play, as seen through a young child. Are you a new parent or caregiver wondering what you really need to support and connect with your baby or toddler? Or are you a professional who serves new families as a developmental therapist, early childhood educator, or other professional in the perinatal space? This episode and our related resource, Connect Learn Play, is for you! Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Connect Learn Play Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program The Emerging Parent Connect With Me Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Hi there. I’m Ayelet Marinovich, and you’re listening to Learn With Less®. Today, I wanted to share a little bit about a very exciting new resource that we have just released here at Learn With Less®, in collaboration with my friend and colleague, Miranda Zoumbaris at The Emerging Parent. Miranda and I attended the American Speech Language and Hearing Association conference back in November 2023, and at that convention hall, we had a exhibit booth for Learn With Less®. One of the fun giveaways that I had created was a series of postcards. On the front was an image of an everyday object, like a funnel or a laundry basket or a box. On the back there were a series of ideas for how you could use that everyday, simple object (a commonly found household item) to support connection and development through the use of play, language, music or movement. These are the four pillars of Learn With Less®: play, talk, sing and move. Now, I had created these as a giveaway, and they were sort of a testing ground for the kinds of fun things that might be useful for both professionals serving young families as well as new parents and caregivers themselves. What happened was pretty hilarious. Everyone was getting them as giveaways, and they were asking where they could buy the product. So Miranda and I got to work creating this new, exciting resource for all of you, and we call it Connect Learn Play. What does Connect Learn Play do? Basically, the promise is that you’ll always know how to support a young child’s development with a laundry basket, a cardboard box or a dish towel. Connect Learn Play is a resource for parents and caregivers of young children and for practitioners working with zero to five year olds. They are digital, printable, infant, toddler and preschool aged ideas to provide simple, enriching ways to support early development through play, language, music and movement, using everyday items, helping you to Learn With Less®. What Does It Mean to Connect Learn Play? I want to give you a little bit more information about what Connect Learn Play is, and why it is a useful resource for you. So essentially, it’s your invitation to stress less, to need less and spend less of your time and money so that you can feel more confident, be more responsive, and create more connection. So, picture this: you’re sitting on the floor with your tiny human. You’re trying to figure out what to do to maximize the 20 minutes between the time you’ve gotten home and the time you’ve got to start getting ready for the next meal. You take out your devil device and start scrolling through Tiktok or Pinterest or IG, or whatever the latest idea rabbit hole where you’re currently following the latest parenting or early childhood influencer. Everything you find requires materials that are not within arm’s reach. And everything requires time you don’t have. Everything requires pre-planned brain space that you don’t have. And in the meantime, your child has found the curtain above them. What do you do next? A, pull your child away from the curtain again and again. B, distract them with one of the five toys you got suckered into buying from this year’s best toys to buy for kids under five. C, join your child at the curtain after recalling the idea about using long fabrics on the Learn with Less® Connect Learn Play prompt yesterday. You can play peek a boo. Or you can talk about the color or texture of the curtain, or what you see outside the window. You could sing a song about hiding and seeking. And you could follow your little one around as they move behind the curtain. Listen, you get to decide! Connect Learn Play cards are a classic resource from Learn With Less®. They’re designed to prompt you to start thinking about ways to connect the dots between what a child is showing interest in, between the relationship between caregiver and child. And to connect the dots between the literal neurons in a young child’s brain that enable them to grow, learn and thrive without being prescriptive, overly structured or requiring of any specific toy. Connect Learn Play helps parents and caregivers make the connection between a child’s interests and strategies used to support development, whether that child is experiencing a delay, is right on target or is ready for more. If you are a parent, a caregiver or a provider of developmental services, then Connect Learn Play is for you! As with all the resources we create here at Learn With Less®, we use the four-pillar framework of the Learn With Less® curriculum (as I mentioned, play, talk, sing and move) to address four major areas of infant and toddler development: cognitive, communicative, motor and social and emotional development. Toys and more materials take up, extra space, cost more and sometimes even prevent us from following a young child’s lead and responding to what they’re interested in at the moment. So, let’s get real. As a mother, a pediatric speech language therapist, and as a coach for practitioners using the Learn With Less® developmental curriculum, I am certainly not anti-toy. I say, do what works for you. But the idea that you need to buy anything in particular to support a tiny human is not only flawed, but also deeply inequitable. How To Support Early Development With Everyday Routines and Everyday Items Supporting development and connection for young children can be simpler than we think. Families need to know how to make use of the natural routines and everyday interactions in front of them. The idea that there’s an inherent developmental value in an object classified as an educational toy is, quite frankly, a delusion. The truth is, you already have the resources to give young children the right stimulation, play, and interaction to thrive – whether or not your toy closet is bursting at the seams. The items in our homes that we already have often hidden in plain view are powerful learning tools that can support all areas of development. So just imagine, providers and practitioners: instead of spending your precious time pre-planning sessions, hauling that big old therapy bag around, wondering how to do bagless therapy routines based intervention and how to center parent education in your work with young families. You feel confident responding to the parent or caregiver and the child in the moment. You feel rooted in the routine you step into using what the family already has and relying on your own set of skills, knowledge and observations instead of a particular toy. And you feel relieved to have a quick reference guide to use an object the family already has on hand in either printed or digital format so families can generalize and carry over what you practiced in the many, many days and hours while you’re not there. Now for families, imagine this instead of the constant looming guilt that you’re not doing enough or that you don’t have that special toy or specific material in order to support your kids, brain, language, muscles, emotional needs, I’m looking at those very expensive toy subscription boxes in your social media feed. Instead of all those feelings, you have ideas for play and interaction using what materials, time and energy you already have. You have confidence. You’re doing enough for your young child’s physical and mental development each day. And you have more valuable interactions using the tools at your fingertips to play and engage in enriching activities that support the connection between you. Finally, you also have access to ideas on the go wherever you are with a digital download. What exactly do I get with Connect Learn Play? So what this is, is access to over 100 ideas for play with 25 everyday items. It is a simple digital download. You’ll be provided with both postcard-sized and full page handouts, in case you want to print a physical copy for easy use or easy sharing with families. For families, you can easily save to a folder on your phone, for instance, print it out and place one on your fridge. And for providers and practitioners, you could text or email an idea to a family with whom you work. Connect Learn Play can be used during sessions as handouts or cards. They can be provided as supplemental material after. You’ll receive a link to a digital download with all 25 cards in English. Currently, we’re still working on Spanish and Arabic. As a parent or caregiver, or as a provider, you can save these to a folder on your device or print them out for quick reference. Just as you’d refer to a cookbook for a recipe, you could check out what you might do with the ingredients you have on hand. Once you’re using these ingredients regularly, you’ll start to see the power of everyday items. Connect Learn Play can go alongside materials you might use as a clinician, for instance, mental health or developmental therapist, as an early childhood educator, home visitor and or a licensed Learn With Less® class facilitator. See Play Through A Child’s Eyes I want to share with you one thing that a current Learn With Less® facilitator, parent of multiple young children who have attended Learn With Less® classes themselves, with me as a facilitator, and who are now in preschool and beyond… I want to share with you what Rachel Kammeyer has to say about the power of Connect Learn Play. “The most powerful thing is that, like, this veil gets lifted of our adult perspective of the use of an object. And then once you unsee one thing, like a garden hose, you start to unsee it everywhere. You’re open to how a child explores it, versus our expectation of how we use it. Yeah, it’s amazing! So the preschool I go to is very Learn With Less® in the sense that we use a lot of everyday objects for our activities, and one little girl was touring yesterday. There are these little sticks that look like golf tees, and we have 12 or 15 little things to put them in. And this was, like, this little girl’s jam. She was just putting in and taking out and lining them up. And it was fine motor. It was cognition. It was so beautiful. And the mom was like, How do I buy these? And I’m like, “Oh, do you have hot rollers at home? You can do the same thing. She can put them up and put them right down on this.” And she’s like, I do, and I haven’t used them in forever! She’s like, I never would have thought of that. I’m like, I have been trained in the art!” I love that from speech-language therapist and Learn With Less® facilitator. Rachel Kammeyer, Thanks, Rachel. So again, who this is for: Connect Learn Play is for families with or expecting infants, toddlers and preschoolers. It’s for individual providers serving families in a home based, clinic based, school based and/or medical setting, and it’s for organizations serving families. So no more scrolling Pinterest trying to find the perfect activity to set up for your child. No more digging through your therapy bag to find the perfect toy to invite playfulness into a session. Again, there is a simpler, more equitable way to support tiny humans without needing the fancy toy subscription. Connect Learn Play is the perfect, simple resource that allows you to offer a perfect blend of child led and structured play for tiny humans to thrive. Here’s the thing: when you learn to recognize the tools you already have to boost your child’s development, you are able to maximize the time you have with a young child. You’re empowered to get it right, and you’re able to unlock the power of everyday routines and everyday objects to figure out how to play with your tiny human go ahead and grab Connect Learn Play. Over at learnwithless.com/connectlearnplay. We cannot wait to hear how you’re using Connect Learn Play, and we look forward to hear what you think! Wishing you more great moments with what counts. The post Connect Learn Play appeared first on Learn With Less.

An Ultimate Checklist of Baby and Toddler Learning Essentials? Or Nah. On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet discusses the ways in which early development, everyday routines, everyday materials, and simple activities (often in which we are already engaging) are powerfully interconnected. If you are a new parent or caregiver wondering what you really need to support and connect with your baby or toddler… or you’re a professional who serves new families as a developmental therapist, early childhood educator, or other professional in the perinatal space, this episode and our related upcoming workshop is for you. Many of us are searching for the ultimate checklist of items for young children, or for a list of go-to developmental activities for babies or toddlers to have in your back pocket. Ayelet makes the case that you already have the resources you need – and that if you’re spending your hard earned money on fancy developmental toys, that investment could go toward other places that are in line with your values. In our upcoming Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop, we’ll explore the basis for the four areas of early development, and connect these to a framework of play, language, music, and movement so you can support and connect with the tiny humans in your care using the time and energy you’re already expending, and the materials you’re already using. Find the magic in the mundane, everyday objects and routines. Join us in our upcoming workshop and discover all about how to Learn With Less®! The Learn With Less® Curriculum is used in communities all over the world in a “caregiver & me” class setting, and has also influenced the philosophies and environmental considerations for play spaces and organizations serving families. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world in which we’d like to live. Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Register now for Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Connect With Me Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Hi there, I’m Ayelet Marinovich and you’re listening to Learn With Less®. Today I wanted to share a little bit about an upcoming event that we are holding here at Learn With Less®, you can learn more about it at learnwithless.com/fundamentals. What this is, is a family enrichment workshop, all about the fundamentals of the Learn With Less® curriculum and program and philosophy. It is a live workshop for parents, caregivers and professionals serving new families. The whole idea is to help you feel confident that you can support and connect with babies and toddlers without having to buy another toy. The event is being held this time around on April 29 2023, from 10am PST until 2pm PST. When you enroll before April 15, you’ll be able to enroll and save $50 on the ticket price. So again, that’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. What we’re trying to do with this workshop is to help support you to find confidence and connection through play language, music and movement. These are the four pillars of Learn With Less®: play, talk, sing and move. And you’ve heard me speak a lot about them on the podcast, and in all of our content and information that we put out into the world. Essentially, what we want you to do is to discover how to use the time, the energy and the materials that you already have to support young children — instead of buying all the fancy toys that you may be are being shown on social media. Here’s the question that we all sort of ask ourselves: what do we really need to support and connect with tiny humans? When the internet feels like a firehose of information, Dr. Google and the baby industry create a sense of overwhelm and perceived incompetence in families… New parents and caregivers know the should’s, but they’re exhausted! Gathering internal resources to do anything extra for their children often feels impossible. And then on the other side, educators and therapists, as well as families, often feel pressure to go out and buy a bunch of toys to ensure that they’re doing the “right” thing, maximizing the precious time that they have with tiny humans. Now, here’s the thing: supporting development and connection for young children can be simpler than we think! Families need to know how to make use of those natural routines and everyday interactions. The idea that there is an inherent developmental value in any object that’s classified as an educational toy is, quite frankly, a delusion. You Already Have the Resources to Support & Connect With Your Young Child So drumroll please, wait for it: the Emperor has no toys, folks. The truth is, you already have the resources to give young children the right stimulation, play and interaction to thrive. And that is true whether or not your toy closet is bursting at the seams. The items in our homes that we already have often hidden in plain view, are powerful learning tools that can support all areas of development. Now, again, I’m just going to break here and share with you that if you want to find out how to Learn With Less® with this workshop, you can go to learnwithless.com/fundamentals and sign up right now. As a parent myself, I’m a mom, I have two young children, and I’m also as a professional serving new families. In my work with other educators and therapists, I know that the developmental value between a cardboard box and the fancy toy that might have come inside is often (ahem) exactly the same. And I also know that early learning does not happen only when I can eke out 15 minutes to provide undivided attention to my child. I also know that it feels sometimes impossible to share succinctly about the simple and natural ways to support and form a deep and loving connection with a child. But when we can connect simple everyday interactions with early learning, we have a blueprint for parent support, partnering with families, and education. Because families already have the resources to give young children the “right” stimulation, play, and interaction to thrive and we can do it with the materials we already have. No extra time or energy needed. Supporting Early Learning With Simple Activities So I’d like to present to you the Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop. We held this workshop in December of last year and it was very well received. We had a lot of great feedback from folks. This is a live workshop for parents and caregivers as well as professionals serving new families. And like many of you listening right now, you might actually be both – a new parent or caregiver, as well as a, say, developmental therapist or early childhood educator – or something in the perinatal space. The Learn With Less® framework is built on four pillars, which each, in turn, support each of the four major areas of early development. In this live workshop, you will find out how to make use of what you know is special, precious time with tiny humans. You’ll discover ways to ensure you’re doing the “right” things for children at their developmental level. You’ll learn how to find that balance between structured play and free play. You’ll find out how to let a young child guide their own learning. You’ll discover new ways to use materials you already have, and also how to help a child communicate to, say, reduce negative behavior and minimize everyone’s frustration. Now, this is a great workshop for families with or professionals serving children who are developing along a “typical” progression within, say, normal developmental limits. It is also a fantastic workshop for families or professionals with children who are not meeting developmental milestones, for instance. This is not about milestones. It is about helping you and discussing and showing you how this four pillar framework of the Learn With Less® curriculum (which again, play talk, sing, and move) actually addresses those four major areas of infant and toddler development, regardless of where a child is performing. Those four major areas are cognitive development, communicative development, motor/sensory development, and social/emotional development. Interaction, Discussion, Observation, and Practice What we’ll be doing is interacting, discussing and sharing about all of these ideas and information. You’ll come away with specific ways to support and connect with young children using what you already have through natural interactions and simple play ideas. Again, this is a workshop that’s occurring (this time around) on April 29 2023 at 10am Pacific. We will be providing a replay period to those who are registering for the live workshop. I do definitely recommend that you try your best to attend live because we’re going to have a whole lot of interaction, live Q*A, and interaction with other professionals who are using the Learn With Less® curriculum in their practices or in their families. For instance, I wanted to share with you what one of our attendees in the past has shared about their learning in this workshop. This is from a father named Josh. He’s the parent of an infant and a toddler. After attending and after involving himself with this information, he shared the following. He said, “You’ve helped me see more clearly that we are already engaging in the kinds of activities that can make a huge impact on our children’s development. We already have the materials we need.” He said, “Ayelet’s words rang true for me. Pinterest can be helpful and fun. But it’s the experience of words, objects, people and ideas in a variety of contexts, settings and environments that support your child’s learning.” He said, “Ayelet helps you understand and knows way to do so – thank you.” So Josh, thank you for sharing all of that. We also have from Megan, who’s a speech language pathologist, and she attended this workshop in the past. She said, “I loved seeing how easy it can be to incorporate music into everyday tasks. And I like how the class flowed and how each parent was able to be successful.” Now, she is actually referring to one of the components of this workshop. And so I’m going to share with you what all of those are. What Are the 4 Components of the Workshop? We have four components. The first is that you’ll learn and discover those four major areas of early development. So we’ll lay out these four areas of early learning. And then we’ll take a deep dive into a particular aspect of each area helping you to find simple, practical and fun ideas to support that learning, using the time, energy and materials that you already have. Then, we’ll also be sharing how to utilize those four pillars of learning with less so that you know you don’t have to expend your energy and resources worrying about what you really need to support tiny humans. Instead, you’ll discover how you can support the connection between caregiver and child. And then that third component, which is what Megan the SLP who shared that quote was referring to. We’re going to then connect practical application to that theory with a live demonstration of activities. So you’ll actually get to experience a live demonstration of caregivers and children experiencing the Learn With Less® framework and working together in a group class that breaks down how to use this info very clearly – and definitely joyfully! Finally, the fourth and potentially most impactful part of this workshop is that you will be able to find out answers to your most pressing questions with a live Q&A. So we’ll have access to a panel of early childhood professionals, early childhood educators, speech language pathologists, developmental therapists of all sorts, who use the Learn With Less® framework in their everyday practice, as well as often with their own children when applicable. I’m going to just share with you some details about this workshop. It is, again, on April 29 2023, at 10am Pacific – that’s 1pm Eastern. You can expect to reserve up to four hours of your day. If you are a speech language pathologist who is registered in the United States, you will receive professional development hours as well. When you purchase before April 15, you will also save $50 on the price of your registration. This workshop will be held on our private Zoom room, and the link will be emailed to you prior to the session. Space is limited. We are capping this workshop it’s going to be small in an effort to create an intimate community learning experience for everyone. Once it fills up, we will consider adding more dates. As I said, we held this workshop successfully in December of last year and it was very, very well received. So that’s why we’re doing it again. Pertinent, Evidence-Based, Bite-Sized Information & Ideas For New Parents and Professionals Working With Families You will also have bonus access to the recording for seven days should you want to review the information, or say, if you were unable to attend for part of the day. So again, who is this for? This is for parents and caregivers of infants and toddlers, expecting and seasoned parents alike. This is also for professionals working with tiny humans and their families. So those working in the perinatal space, those who are early childhood educators, developmental therapists, doulas, mental health practitioners. Also professionals who are, in addition, parents and caregivers, so people who are looking for high quality, evidence based information and ideas to support your tiny humans, as well as those on your caseload. There is no complicated activity planning, there’s no required materials from say a particular parenting philosophy. This is just about you. It’s about the tiny humans in your life and the everyday objects and everyday routines already happening around you. We will be sharing what the baby industry doesn’t want you to know or to understand. When you learn to recognize the tools that you already have to boost an infant or toddlers development, you’re able to maximize the time you have with young children, you’re empowered to get it right. And you’re able to unlock the power of everyday routines and everyday objects to figure out how to play with the little ones in your life while also supporting their learning. You’ll discover how to take simple everyday items and use them in different ways. exploring them with the children in your care and guiding that child to explore with you. There is a simpler, more equitable way to support tiny humans without needing the fancy toys subscriptions. Here’s another quote from Sue, who is a pediatric occupational therapist. She said, “I often went into houses with my magic bag of toys. The Learn With Less® framework is making me rethink the way I interact with the family. For instance, interacting with family as a whole, or at least the caregiver and child dyad – versus interacting predominantly with the child.” Think Outside the Box When It Comes to Early Learning With this workshop, I want you to discover how to think outside the box. Parents and professionals alike are often caught up in the lure of fun new toys, only to start to feel a strong sense of overwhelm each time they idle down the toys and games aisle. Cut the overwhelm: let’s play in the box instead! So we’re going to help you connect loose parts and open ended play with straightforward developmental concepts that you’re often already supporting… without having to spend time, energy and money setting up a bunch of crafty activities. Again, space is extremely limited. We are creating an intimate atmosphere for learning and community. So I urge you to save your spot today. That’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. I also want to say that the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program is a complete plug and play system for using the popular Learn With Less® curriculum in one’s community as an additional offering for new families. That is a four figure investment. It includes a complete training program and certification process in addition to access to all of our licensed materials, ongoing Q&A and coaching calls, and a professional sounding board. But I want to invite you to join me for a complete workshop around the framework, a panel of other educators and therapists who have integrated the Learn With Less® framework into their practice to answer your questions around the concepts, and a live demonstration of the Learn With Less® curriculum in action. Right now this workshop is just $99. You can save $50 on the price of the workshop before April 15. After that, it will go up to $149. So go ahead and register now to save your spot. We have also a quote from pediatric speech language pathologist and a parent of a toddler, Meryl, who said, “I like that it makes things feel simple. It feels like you’re going back to the basics, the Learn With Less® framework is accessible, use what you have. I really like it because it feels relatable, like anybody can do it.” Who Is the Creator of the Learn With Less® Framework? Finally, I just want to introduce myself in case you don’t know who I am, and if you’ve made it this far, I am Ayelet. I’m a pediatric speech language pathologist and a parent educator and I’ve been running caregiver and me classes using the Learn With Less® infant and toddler curriculum since 2014. I’ve served thousands of families all over the world, both virtually and in person, helping new families to feel confident that they can support and connect with their babies and toddlers without having to buy another toy. And since early 2020, I’ve helped dozens of educators and therapists to do the same by creating lasting impact leading, marketing, and filling caregiver and child classes to supplement their income and to provide education and support families in their communities. I wanted to share, in case you’re wondering, a few things. First of all, you will have the tools and guidance to promote learning and connection using existing time, energy and materials. And again, if you are a US based speech language pathologist, you’ll get more certified maintenance hours of continuing education. FAQ’s About the Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop A couple of FAQs, in case you’re wondering, what if I want a training that provides me with in depth knowledge and support integrating these concepts into everyday life. So here’s what this workshop will not cover. It will not cover access to and training around our full curriculum as a parent coaching and support and a family enrichment offering. It will not cover coaching and guidance around using the Learn With Less® curriculum in your community. It will not include ongoing support for your questions and challenges frustrations regarding early parenthood and early childhood, and it will not include ongoing access to a community of like minded caregivers or educators. If you want more in depth training or mentorship and support, here’s what we recommend. For parents and caregivers, we recommend that you grab the Learn With Less® Bundle, which includes all of our best resources, including our best selling books, our musical album, a recorded class, as well as caregiver handouts. That can be found at learnwithless.com/bundle. We also recommend that you participate in a Learn With Less® caregiver and child class in your community, either virtually or in person, led by a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. You can find those over at learnwithless.com/classes. And for educators and therapists, if you are looking to create lasting impact leading caregiver and me classes with a high quality evidence-based “plug and play’ program. then we would love to see your application come through over at learnwithless.com/certification. And then here is the rest of the fine print, because I always want to be up front with you. So number one, no refunds for this workshop will be granted for any reason. Space is limited, which means that if you decide to take one of those spots, it’s yours, even if you don’t attend live! This session will be recorded. You will still learn a ton from watching the recording after the live workshop is over, and you’ll have access to it for a seven day replay period. The workshop is for parents and caregivers with or expecting infants and toddlers, and also for professionals supporting new families or who are in the perinatal space like developmental therapists, early childhood educators doulas, mental health professionals, etc. If you’re not sure really whether this workshop is right for you, please do reach out to me at admin at strength in words.com and we will get back to you ASAP. If you want to know, “how do I sign up to host a Learn With Less® group?” That’s another question I wanted to answer. We would be thrilled if you’re interested in becoming a Learn With Less® facilitator. We are accepting applications now. So if you get yours in today, you can do so by applying aat learnwithless.com/certification. Another quote or testimonial I wanted to share from Miranda Zoumbaris who we’ve had the podcast a bunch, who is a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator and early childhood educator, and who will be on the panel on the upcoming workshop. She said, “what could be better than sharing with families the gift of joy? It has always been a goal of mine as a parent educator to take away worry, provide education and infuse joy into everyday activities, teaching parents to have joy with their babies and toddlers. What could be better than helping them have that gift?” Learn With Less® Values: Showing Up In Our Space So again, you can go ahead and enroll now to secure your seat at our upcoming workshop on April 29, you can do that today, it’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. And if you are wondering what the experience of the workshop will be like, I wanted to just share a little bit about our values and how those play into the way that we hold events and the way we run our communities. Here at Learn With Less, we are a relationship and values based company. To us, that means that we prioritize and make decisions based on the values that we hold. We hope that learning more about these values and how they show up in the company will give you a good sense of what to expect. The first one is simplicity. As professionals, we know that everyday materials and routines hold the utmost developmental value, we always encourage you to use what you already have, you don’t have to go out buying more stuff. We also want to encourage you to remember that you already have everything you need. Play and interaction do not require expensive toys or lots of time. The second value that I want to share with you is community. To us, that means communal learning. So facilitation versus hierarchical learning. We value the idea of learning together, and alongside one another. We value communal support, meaning we’re here for each other even when we don’t have the same professional backgrounds, or hold the same identities, or parent in the same way. Our third is inclusivity. We respect and accept diverse thought and practice, these are valued. We want to help our audience with access: you don’t have to have oodles of supplies to support families or your baby. We provide access to information throughout our podcast books, workshops, and programs. We honor, create, and uphold space for those holding a diversity of social identities. Next is education. So we value the power of learning and knowledge, shared learning. Once you know what you’re doing is supportive of a young child, you’re motivated to keep doing it. You’ll be participating in the educational information that we’ll be sharing in this workshop, but you’ll also, at times, be co-creating it. And then finally playfulness. We value playfulness. And we define this in terms of exploration, musicality, and love. Play with your baby, play with your style, play with materials, play in a group with others, play with me. Those are the values that we define in our company and how they show up. I wanted to share with you what that feels like and looks like, and how that might present itself within this workshop. Join Us In Community With the Learn With Less® Framework Again, we are holding a wonderful workshop. It’s a Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals workshop for parents, caregivers and professionals. It will be held on April 29th 2023 at 10am Pacific / 1pm. Eastern. You can expect to reserve up to four hours of your day, and you will receive professional PD hours (professional development hours) if you’re an SLP – a speech language pathologist. If you purchase your ticket before April 15, you will save $50 on your registration. Currently the price of the ticket is $99 and that goes up to $149 on April 15. You will also, once you purchase your ticket, have bonus access to the recording for seven days if you want to review the info, or if you were unable to attend part of the day, for instance. I do want to again reiterate this is a ticket to a live virtual event and there will be no refunds, so make sure you understand fully: we do have no refunds policy when you purchase. We can’t wait to see you. It’s going to be so fun. We have a wonderful panel of early childhood professionals and it’s just going to be a great day, so please go ahead and reserve your ticket now. I can’t wait to see you go ahead and reach out to me a great place to do that would be @learnwithless on Instagram in the DMs. I would love to hear your thoughts questions, and I can’t wait to see you at the workshop on April 29th. Talk to you soon. Bye! The post What Do We Really Need to Support & Connect With Tiny Humans? appeared first on Learn With Less.

Building a Sense of Community in Parenting On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with Desiree Viray, an early childhood educator, mother, entrepreneur, parent partner and parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and the owner of Empowered Family Collective. Desiree’s purpose and joy are rooted in serving, empowering and walking with educators, parents / caregivers, and families through each stage of development, impacting children’s lives through a family-centered approach to play, talk (language development), song, movement, connection, and simplicity. Her work at Empowered Family Collective helps families find moments of joy, and opportunities for intentionality and simplicity in each stage of child development and parenthood/caregiving. She offers “caregiver & me” groups for families using the Learn With Less® curriculum, among other services. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Desiree’s background, how she came into the world of early childhood education, and where her career has taken her What drew her to the Learn With Less® philosophy, and the value of prioritizing parents and caregivers and parent education How she has placed her values front and center with regard to her own business decisions, marketing decisions, and how she coaches families The ways in which creating a sense of belonging serves both her as a business owner, as well as serving families with young children How she has respected her internal pace and intentionally created slow and steady growth Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® Stories: Additional podcast episodes and other interviews from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. FREE Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: Discover the four major areas of infant and toddler development, what’s involved in each one in the first three years of life, and what you can do to support that learning (using what you already have in your home). Desiree’s Podcast, Storm and Sky (specifically, her episode on writing new chapters – what happens when you find yourself in your sweet spot) Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Desiree: Website / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Ayelet: Welcome to the Learn With Less® Podcast. Today I am joined by my dear friend and colleague Desiree Viray. Desiree, welcome to the Learn With Less® podcast. So happy you’re here. Desiree: Thank you for having me. I’m really excited to be here. Ayelet: Yay! Desiree, I would love it if you could just tell us a little bit about you who you are, your background and what led you to come into the world of Learn With Less®? Desiree: Yes, I was an educator in the classroom for about 16 years. And I’m going to take it way back to junior college where I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt lost. I found my way when I stumbled across a flyer from Bright Horizons. I took my very first child psychology class, and I was hooked. That literally was the seed to my career in early childhood education. It should not have come as a surprise to me, because I actually come from a long line of educators. My paternal grandfather was a principal in the Philippines. I have been in the classroom, as I mentioned, for 16 years. I managed a team, if you will. One of my dream jobs was to become a principal, which I tried on for two and a half years… and realized that it just was not my thing. And I’m glad that I tried it. Fast forward a little bit. I’ve since transitioned into executive support. I’m not surprised that my skills have transferred over really nicely to this role. So I do that full time. I am a bonus mama to two wonderful children that I met about eight years ago. They are 10 going on 20, and 12 going on 50. My son has a very old soul. One morning, I heard him say Hey, Google… Play Elvis Presley. Like that’s, that’s my kid I love. I met you and I stumbled upon Learn With Less® when my good friend Lesley Mayson had posted about her own experience. And I was in a bit of a transition. I knew that I wanted to serve the community in some capacity, and I had thought, Oh, I’m going to be a career coach! Took an intro class and realize that specific framework was not the right fit for me because I am an intense introvert. And when I met you, and you told me a little bit more about how the information is disseminated. Again, I was hooked. And so here we are together. A year later! What is it about the Learn With Less® Program That Speaks to You? Ayelet: Let’s hear a little bit about what was it that really intrigued you about the way that the Learn With Less® facilitator training and certification program, really… What is it that really got you in terms of feeling like it was a better fit? Not only, of course, within the way that you wanted to serve and impact your community, but also in the way that we do our training? Because it sounds like that, as as I know from speaking with you over the year, I know that really was useful to you. But I’d love to hear specifically what it was about it then. Desiree: The thing that really drew me in is the fact that it is play-based. I was in a program where we had a community of parents and caregivers that did not initially see the value of a play-based program. And I tell you, I talk to them still, many of these families, their children are probably now in middle school, which is absolutely insane to think about. They talk about that time, this magical time that they had in this particular program. Now seeing why play was so important, and is still so important. So that was part of it is just the fact that it was play-based. The other part is that it was a mix of philosophies, Ayelet. I came from a program that was heavily inspired by Reggio. And so my own value system, my own philosophy around education, is actually a mix of those different philosophies and ways of thinking around child development and play. So that was the other part. The receiving of the information is that I got to choose my own adventure. I took about a year to go through the actual program. And you and our community did not make me feel guilty about that! We had just talked about time being a very precious and scarce resource, right. While working full time, I would go through the program when I felt called to it. And that is so empowering. I just want to pause there because I got to make very intentional choices as to when I engaged in that learning. And that was really important to me as a working mom, and someone that was making a very serious investment in this… I don’t like to call it a small business because it’s not small! In this venture, this new chapter that I was writing for myself. Ayelet: I love that. Yeah, it’s so important to me, in terms of the way that people go through the program, to have that opportunity. Because we know that not everybody life circumstances are the same. Everyone is coming from a different educational, professional background. People are dealing with different COVID restrictions, different life restrictions, different life pathways, and some people zip through it, who are in your exact circumstances, right? Who are working full time parents, and some choose because of other circumstances to take their time. What we try to do is, like you said, try and create that ability for people to self determine what it is that is important to them, and what they need while continuing to provide the support, and information sharing, and inspiration to those who are ready to take it in, as well. And to bring you back in, and pull you back in, when it’s time. Finding Your Sweet Spot, Creating Balance in Your Life Desiree: Yes, you make me think about this conversation that I had with a few – three of the executives that I support right now. And I said to them, no joke, I’m retiring with you all, I will be on this team supporting you all for as long as you’ll have me. And one of them said, I really worry about the day that you’re going to leave and want more. And I told him, I found my sweet spot. Sometimes people search a lifetime for that sweet spot where you feel like everything is integrated at just the right volume, if you will. And so that was the beauty of Learn With Less®, is that I was able to maintain equilibrium, if you will. I was able to maintain that sweet spot. I think that was really important to me, it still is really important to me. And I just I want to talk more about that with other people! Just that if you have found your sweet spot, that’s okay. And that is good. Ayelet: Yeah, well, I want to dig into that more, actually, because it’s such a perfect parallel to what you’re doing for families using the Learn Wit Less® curriculum, right? Because yeah, I mean, as we were also talking about before we started recording, new families have such limited bandwidth. And so asking them or sharing with them new ideas for more ways that they can play with their child, and more things to do, and more things to buy, and blah, blah, blah, is like… no! That’s not what people want. I want to actually quote you. When you entered the program, I ask people, you know, why are you passionate about being a parent educator using the Learn With Less® curriculum? You wrote that this chapter is rooted in wanting to help caregivers feel and be empowered to look at their environments through a different lens, and to help them see value in and find their way to simplicity. So I mean, well done, Desiree of the past. Desiree: I wrote that? Ayelet: You did! And that’s, I mean, that’s it. I think, that really cuts to the heart of what we’re doing here and why. And I wonder if you could just say a little bit more about that. And what you think was going through your head when you wrote that! What it is that you, now that you’ve been through the training program, and you are a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. You’re fully certified, you’re doing the thing, you’re marketing your classes, you’ve hosted a demo class, and you’ve done some investment into local marketing things. So let’s talk about what it is you are trying to create for folks who enter your space and what the value is of your classes. Intentionally Creating a Sense of Belonging Desiree: Yes, I as you know, I hosted my first pop up last weekend, and it was actually a school district sponsored event, it was outdoors 80 degrees in Texas, and there was a breeze. So it was good. I learned a lot with it being my first pop up, and we can go back to that. But you encouraged me to really think about what my elevator pitch is and was. I got to practice it a number of times. Yes, it changed a number of times too. But it allowed me to get closer to what it – and that was the question. I was approached with, oh, Empowered Family Collective. What is it that you do? I often started with, well, I’ve been an educator for a number of years. I’m also a parent and I one want to serve the community. And through that, it is about disseminating this message that your child, your children, don’t need the $100 toys. I’d walk over to the shelving that I had available because I wanted. The vibe that I wanted was, I wanted one to feel like you were walking into my living room. Ayelet: Yeah. And to clarify, this was a pop up like marketing event. You were the vendor at a fair at the school district’s fair. Desiree: That is correct. I wish you could have seen the faces when I was unloading my car. Then I talked a little bit about, and then I pointed to the recycled materials that I had collected and amassed over the last, I don’t know, six months? I talked about how oftentimes what our children want to interact with and play with and learn most from are the things that we have at home already. I had spatulas, colanders, tons of recycled materials. Then, of course, conversation began around, oh my gosh, yes. Why don’t I save the egg carton, right. So I created, I like to call them invitations. I created invitations as to how you might pair something that you did buy from Amazon, because that’s real, with something that you purchase from the grocery store, like a yogurt tub, and how you could pair those things. That there is room for a combination of both situations. Then I talked a little bit about, you know, many times our families really crave, like, how do I cultivate independent play? It’s through that is through these open-ended materials that you offer. Because the possibilities are endless, and the creativity and the imagination is just bananas! Ayelet: That’s right, that’s not going to happen with a press the button toy, cause and effect, right? There’s room for that, yes. And when you have these wonderful, open-ended – meaning materials that can be used in a multitude of different ways… You have endless opportunities, as you said. I love that. Yeah. Desiree: And you hit on something. I think we can fall into the trap of “but” – I think what we’re doing through learn with less is the message of using more and yeah, I have these, what is the word that we use for things that have single use – prescriptive materials? There’s room for prescriptive materials and open-ended materials, loose parts. Ayelet: Yeah. Right. Because the point is not to be anti toy. It’s very interesting. Because we do live, you and I are both stateside, we both live in the US. And we live in a very binary society, right? That’s how we’re socialized generally. And you have yes/no, good/bad, big/small. And that’s… so much of all of this is taking that down. Helping people see that parenting also in general is not a binary there’s no right and wrong way, right or wrong way to parent, a human. Number one, we’re all coming from a unique set of circumstances, life experiences, cultural, ethnic, and otherwise background. And number two, we have our different humans who have their specific needs. So, we often in a Learn With Less® group, will touch upon those challenges, and also wins of what’s going on with families. And in that time, that sort of sharing time, it’s a wonderful opportunity for families to share, like, what is going on with them, what they’re challenged by. But of course, as you know, we talked so much about how this is not the time for you to give the prescription of oh, well, here’s how you can solve that problem. Right? Which I think a lot of us as the helpers of society. Early childhood educators, developmental therapists, we want to help we want to solve the problem, we want to get that child to the next milestone!. But in this case, it’s, it’s so much more about creating a space where people can feel seen and heard. And I wonder Desiree, if you could talk a little bit about that, in terms of what it is that you’re creating, and why that’s valuable. Desiree: Oh, my gosh, yes. Many of the people that I met last weekend, were those who have moved to Texas recently, and are essentially rebuilding their communities, their villages. And that can be so challenging. And some people talked about how isolating it can be. That’s part of my purpose is to create these communities of support, especially for those who are feeling isolated by especially first time, early parenting. I am here to create space for whoever it is that you want to show up as today. I am here to simply listen. One thing that I like to often start conversations with is, okay, I need to know, do you need me to listen? Or do you need solutions? Or do you need both? Because then that sets my mindset into the space of like, okay, I’m going to be totally clued in. And so one of the pieces of feedback that I receive quite often is that people often feel visible and heard by me. So I’m using… I’m hoping to really use that gift in the community while I’m serving them in that way. Building community. Allowing space for parents and caregivers to feel like it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not going to show up as your best self every day. There are going to be things that are challenging and I want to be that sounding board for you. And to just help you feel okay with that? Ayelet: Yeah, beautiful. I think for all our listeners here, right now, like it’s, I mean, if someone were there to do that, for me, when I was a brand new parent, that would have been really nice, right. And also, that’s for me also why I started leading these classes, because I wanted a place to be able to do that for myself and for others. I knew the value of that for myself. I knew how much I got out of creating a space for people. I just want to come back to what you said about that. Instead of immediately jumping in to solve a problem, that that pause of asking a person and this is so true in all areas of life. It’s very, it can be very hard for people to do it is actually that moment of empathy, right? Where you’re asking someone what support looks like for them in that moment: what would you like for me right now? A lot of what you’re doing in this season of life with families is creating that space, holding that space and creating a place for families to let someone know what they need… and be asked. Because we also know that in early parenthood, that doesn’t happen very much. There’s not a whole lot of… you’re giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to this tiny human and whether or not you have a co-parenting partner, it can be really hard. Many people, I will say, don’t have — who is asking them what they need, right? Because often when we’re sleep deprived, or we’re overwhelmed, there’s an immediate go to. There’s that switch of, without that pause, of the other person who’s trying to provide support, often goes right into trying to solve the problem. And all of this is not to say that there isn’t a problem that we solve within a Learn With Less® class, right? Of course, what we’re doing and actually, I’d love to hear what you would define that as – what, what is it that we are doing? If we’re not solving, solving all the problems of early parenthood? Why do people come to your classes to Learn With Less® classes? What is it that they get out of it, other than having a space to come to where they can feel seen and heard and held? Because just that is super valuable to people! But there’s a lot more, right? And so what what else is it that you’re doing for families, Desiree? Desiree: I’m gonna go back to that, to that sense of community that you’re building. Especially when we have Learn With Less® facilitators that offer a series of classes, right, that you’re going to see these consistent faces over a certain amount of time, and you will more than likely exchange phone numbers with somebody, right? So that’s another connection that you’ve made locally. And I think that was the that was the other thing that drew me in, Ayelet, I’ll bring it back, is the fact that you’re encouraging us to be in our local communities. And so it makes it easier for parents and caregivers to make those local connections. Isn’t that what we want? That when you are not in this space, when you’re not in the space of Empowered Family Collective with Desiree, that you are potentially connecting at the local park or the coffee shop when we are not all together. The other part is that we are holding our parents and caregivers and those children at the same time. When I think about traditional classes, like a music class, for example. It is mostly geared towards the children. But yet we incorporate our parents and caregivers by engaging in the conversation of hey, what are your roses and thorns this week? I want to hear from you very intentionally about what you are excited about and what was challenging this week. So there’s that layer, again, of visibility for the adults that helped bring the children to this space. And so yeah, I have goosebumps. Ayelet: Yeah, it’s powerful stuff. And then of course, without failing to mention the entire developmental enrichment piece of it. So I want to hear about that, too. For sure. Desiree: That part I get really excited about. I’m a child development nerd. I really enjoyed the classes that I took both in undergrad and graduate school. And so I really appreciate being able to talk about that with families, because one, we talked about this: time is a very precious yet scarce resource. We no longer potentially have the time to read the 100 page book about what to expect. Allow me to be your personal, oh my gosh, what was it back in the day, they were yellow. If you wanted to read a book… allow me to be your personal CliffsNotes. Yeah, around child development, in particular. Why is my kid waking up at 3am every morning? Or why is it that my child’s appetite is very unpredictable? Right? Well, Oh, well, I’ve spent 16 years in a classroom, I’ve seen a variety of things, I have my own children to kind of add to the mix, right? Allow me to, to maybe offer three or four possibilities. And if you want them, some solutions that you might try at home. So yes, the whole child development piece. Then of course, the enrichment part, right? Is how do we put these philosophies into practice? But in a way, that’s not scary, very approachable, again, using the things that we already have at home. And I think that’s where the simplicity comes in. Again, I’m not asking you to go out and buy all these things. Everything that you need to create an engaging environment for your child is already in your home. Ayelet: Yes, whatever kind of home you live in, whether it’s big, or small, yes. Whether you have ample storage, or none at all, yeah, okay. So Desiree, you’ve acknowledged that your business is called Empowered Family Collective. So I’d love to hear what it is, if you can speak specifically to what it is you’re empowering families to do. Desiree: Yes. The seeds were planted during the pandemic. And I had a number of families that had been part of my program, my early childhood program, when I was teaching, reach out to me because we were still connected. Because they just weren’t sure how to navigate the pandemic. We were all homeschooling, et cetera, et cetera. And I had done this with a number of families. And I thought, I feel like I’m kind of good at this, and I still got it. So there’s something there. That led me to the proposition for myself, like, okay, so if you’re going to do this, what is it that you’re trying to do here Desiree? And the word empowerment kept coming up, because what I was finding is these families that were coming to me just seemed disempowered, and potentially because they were so flippin’ tired. So I am here to help you step into that empowerment that still exists. It may be dormant right now, and to potentially connect you with the resources or local resources that can help you get to the next step. I think the empowerment piece also comes in to play when I am listening, I’m actively listening to these parents and caregivers. I’m actually reflecting back what I’m hearing and or validating what I’m hearing and what they’re experiencing and feeling. And I think that when you are truly heard, when you feel like you’re heard, and you’re visible, that you actually realize that oh, she’s in there still, and I am going to make it through this season. It may not feel like it today, but I’m going to. So, multiple conversations with these families over time, none of these things were fixed overnight, not not even fixed. I don’t like to use the word fixed. It took time to address what was happening for them. Some of them are still ongoing. But it was really helpful to have someone that they trusted, someone that had been in the classroom for a number of years. Someone who had sort of the educational background to help them figure out what might be happening and what next steps were. Sometimes you just need someone to say, what if you tried this? Here are three options, and here is where you might potentially go for that support. Values Driven Business, Values Driven Life Ayelet: Yeah, I think it’s so important to to really get to the core of what motivates us, as business owners, as parents, as women, as humans. And really understanding what the values are that guide our choices in making decisions, right, because that, when we move back into those values, whether those are of the company that you’re building, or the way you are parenting, actually stating those out loud, writing them down somewhere, having that set of belief systems to guide you… really helps. So of course, empowering families is one thing for you. But I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share, Desiree a few of the other values that are really guiding you. Desiree: Yes, I all of a sudden had this vision of when I had engaged in the rocks, pebbles, sand – you can actually Google this – framework around how to identify what your rocks are, when you put all of those together, the rocks are the ones that take up the most space in the physical vessel that you put them in. And those actually, for me, translated into my values. And my values, my very first one, actually, is my family. The other one was my career. The other one is also my wellness. And I have two more, but they they slipped my mind at the moment. So I use those values for myself. They help me make decisions. I use this very same sort of provocation invitation, if you will, for families that have needed help to say… I don’t know which school to send my child to. And my response is… Sometimes they’d come in with like piles of printed articles around data, just data, right? And that’s how they thought! And so I would take them along a different path, sometimes an uncomfortable path and I’d say well, what are your values as a parenting unit? What are your values as a family? And if you haven’t established them, here’s a way that you can. We actually have our values as a family posted in a common space very clearly so that we can go back to them when we have hard conversations. And so when I think about just to bring it full circle, when I think about my full time job writing this new chapter around starting my business, Empowered Family Collective, I kept my family at the forefront. How is this going to impact them? What ways can I include them in this in this chapter, which my daughter made her own name tag and she had her name, her age, and on the top, it said, employee, she laminated it. And so that’s just an easy example, if you will, of how I have used my values to inform this chapter of mine. And the way in which I think about how I’m I’m actually executing the vision that I have for myself. What I do as a parent educator – I prefer to call myself a parent partner – is rooted in family, whatever, whatever that looks like! I wish there was a different term that we could use. So I’m going to figure that out. Ayelet: Well, let’s talk about that, actually, because I do find myself using the the word “parent education” so often. But I think it’s so useful to explore what does that mean? How else can we say that? What are we actually referring to when we’re talking about parent education? For you, what would you say in terms of like, why you prefer the “parent partner,” instead of “parent educator” piece? What does that bring up for you? What, what resonates there? Desiree: It brings up sort of a division of power for some reason. And so when I think of partner, you and I are side by side, potentially linked in arms if you want to. The other word that I love using is Sherpa. We’re on this journey together. Allow me to utilize the information and experience that I’ve gathered over time to help you and inform you as you go through this experience that you’ve never gone through before. And working with you, working with a number of the educators that I’ve worked with in the past, I’ve just learned to really value belonging. Yeah, not just inclusion, belonging. And so I have learned to use “y’all” more. “Hey, everyone,” and then so much of what I post has slashes, right. It’s like parents slash caregiver slash, etc, etc, because, and I, I say that out loud, because it’s like, I just want people to feel like they belong in this space. Oh, my gosh, that’s it. I’m trying to cultivate a sense of belonging. I know that the Learn With Less® framework allows us to do that. And that is so clear in your value statement too. And I think I told you in the beginning, that really drew me to your values are so clear. And that allows someone like me to say, hey! My values actually line up with Ayelet’s. And this framework that she has created. So the decision was so clear. I’m in. Ayelet: Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that does. The piece that I wanted to really tease out of there is in terms of the belonging piece, and how that relates to how we talk about things at Learn With Less®, and to really emphasize about what you said in terms of those slashes. And the partner piece is how we speak about our role as facilitators of a space or guides. Versus a leader, a class leader, a teacher, an expert, right? And that, what you said there in terms of, let me guide you through a process. Let me move you through an understanding. Let me give you the Cliff Notes, right, let me break it down into bite sized manageable pieces of information that you can utilize right now to understand how to build the connection between you and your child in a way that feels natural to you. And also, how to really feel confident that you are doing all of the things that you need to be doing, quote unquote, “need to be doing right” in terms of supporting their learning and development in all those areas of learning – cognitive development and communication, development and motor and sensory development and social and emotional development, right? Because we go through all of those things within the different classes that we hold, and we have a very clear breakdown of ways in which we address all those areas of learning. So I’m curious, what for you stands out in terms of the actual curriculum and the way that it’s broken down for families? How does it allow you to do the job of empowering families to feel confident? How does it facilitate for you a process of transition in that way that you’ve said is so important? Desiree: Well, one of the more powerful pieces around what we do is we’re basically equipping our parents and our caregivers with information that is so powerful. It’s a game changer often, but again in a way that is bite-sized, and is just so easily understandable. So we’re equipping this community with knowledge that is going to help them in their home when we’re not with them. And two, helping our parents, caregivers, families, units understand and see the value around play, natural play, let them play. Ayelet: It comes back to what we were talking about earlier, in terms of just like that pause, instead of providing an answer, or a direction, or a solution. It’s also letting… providing that model for families that you’re doing, also provides them to do that, and step back and watch what their child is doing, what their child is interested in. So that then they can respond, and support, and clue in and provide the words or the tools, for their child to do the play. To actually do the learning. And then for them to create that environment around the child that facilitates even a deeper level of it through the interaction. Desiree: Yes, the other part is the playfulness that the adults are encouraged to engage in. So parenthood is hard. But it doesn’t always have to be! That it is okay, it is encouraged to bring in playfulness. And I’ll give you an example. My kids don’t like to brush their teeth. So guess what mama does, I go in there, I make up a silly song, it may not be in tune. And I’m actually brushing my teeth with them maybe took five minutes in my day. Sure, I could have been washing the dishes, I could have been doing other things. But making those intentional choices around being playful myself, has helped me many times over. So we’re modeling that right? That that’s okay. Two: the practicality of what we are sharing that again, you do not have to come to this space that we are in together once every few weeks, you can do this in your home. And that’s the idea. Yeah, the practicality. Intentionally Building Slowly Ayelet: Alright, Desiree with our very short remaining time, I would love to ask you about the intentional building that you’re doing, like the building of what you’re creating, and how you’ve gone about that. Because you’ve been very intentional about really being interpersonal, more one on one interactions and reaching out to your existing community and the people who you know, and who can help to facilitate connections for you. And now you’ve also stepped into some additional sort of marketing type adventures. So I would love to just hear very briefly about what that’s been like for you – that process of stepping into actually letting other people know about what you’re doing here. Desiree: Yes, when I knew that I was going to write this chapter, I knew that I needed to be very intentional and slow about it. Because as I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve peeled back my childhood, mamahood, adulthood, I have learned that I am, one, an introvert. Two, that slow and easy is my pace. I am happily going to hang out in the slow lane, like, let me be. So honoring me has become very important and it’s also one of my values. And so I don’t like to make mistakes. And so going slow allows me to avoid as many of them as possible. I did make mistakes along the way but they were mistakes that I felt like I learned a lot from, right, some of the things that I had done were sort of out of order, if you will, in regards to setting up an LLC for example. And my time also led me, my own sort of resource, like my time, really led that. You know, I work full time, kiddos are with me, and so when is it that I can earmark some uninterrupted time to doing this and looking at this more closely. A lot of it was just having that internal banter with myself. I call her the negative roommate. She tells me sometimes that I’m not good enough, you’re not going fast enough. What is it that you’re doing? And so I say to her, I hear you and it’s not true, right? So I try to combat those messages. You know, with that, I just I try to make very intentional choices. Yeah, and it’s, it’s okay to go slow because ultimately I want to be proud of what it is that I’m doing and that stands true today. Ayelet: And what a perfect place to land. Yes, Desiree thank you so so much for your time today. We will be linking to all of your beautiful links but just for all the folks at home who are listening will you let them know where they can find you? Desiree: Yes, on Instagram you can find me at @empoweredfamilycollective all one word. And the same thing for my website empoweredfamilycollective.com. Ayelet: Awesome. I cannot wait to send people your way. Thank you so much for you your time and energy today, Dez! Desiree: Thank you for having me! Again, you and I could talk for hours, and so this just felt so natural and so good. The post Building Community & Belonging for New Families appeared first on Learn With Less.