History on Fire

“I ask you why we must tear ourselves apart for this small question of religion?” from the movie Elizabeth

Once upon a time Game of Thrones was the most watched show on earth, and I could freely make references to it knowing my listeners would get them. Then came the last season that was so universally reviled that I’m thinking I may get rotten tomatoes thrown at me for even bringing it up. But A. this is a podcast, not a live event, so I hope to stay safe from the spoiled tomatoes. And B. I’d hope you’d be so kind as to let me slide one Game of Thrones reference—at least in a case like this when it’s very pertinent. One of the most shocking episodes in a series that was built on shocking viewers was the Red Wedding. What begins as a joyful celebration for a wedding quickly turns into a bloody massacre. Well… what we are going to play with today in this episode makes Game of Thrones look tame. This is the Red Wedding to the 10th power. The year was 1572, and a royal wedding between the Catholic sister of the King of France and a Protestant prince was supposed to bring an end to the French Wars of Religion. So, thousands of sworn enemies converged on Paris for the wedding. What could possibly go wrong…

Lots of people have weddings where things don’t work out perfectly. Some have truly unlucky, bad weddings. But unless your wedding led to the massacre of thousands of people, you probably had a better one than Margaret of Valois and Henry of Navarre.

If you feel generous and enjoy History on Fire, please consider joining my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to access plenty of bonus content.

All the links to History on Fire social media can be found at our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HOF YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠

⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠

JAPAN TOUR! Let’s head out to Japan in Oct 2026. All the details at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Geek Nation Tours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Please check out this month’s sponsor, Rula,⁠ for affordable, accessible therapy and mental health care.

Throughout history, people have used mushrooms (such as Lion’s Mane, Turkey Tail, Cordyceps, Reishi and Chaga) for their medicinal properties. My friends started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Purest Mushrooms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where they offer some of the best quality mushrooms you can find on the market at affordable prices. Use code historyonfire at checkout for a discount.

Bison is some of the healthiest meat you could possibly eat. Get yours at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dakota Pure Bison⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. History on Fire listeners get a discount by using the code HOF10 at checkout.

This episode is supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Arizona State University⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about how ASU supports all learners through all stages of life.

My friend James Pieratt is one of the world’s top functional training experts, and a record-breaking hybrid athlete. Use the code WH25 for a 25% discount on all of his training programs at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wild Hunt Conditioning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"I answered him that… I, as Captain-General of these provinces, was waging a war of fire and blood against all who came to settle these parts and plant in them their evil Lutheran sect... For this reason, I would not grant them a safe passage, but would sooner follow them by sea and land until I had taken their lives." Captain Pedro Menendez de Aviles

“Finding they were all Lutherans, the captain-general ordered them all put to death; but, as I was a priest, and had bowels of mercy, I begged him to grant me the favor of sparing those whom we might find to be Christians. He granted it; and I made investigations, and found ten or twelve of the men Roman Catholics, whom we brought back. All the others were executed, because they were Lutherans and enemies of our Holy Catholic faith. All this took place on Saturday, September 29th, 1565.” Father Francisco Lopez

Today’s story is packed with pirates, mutineers, and scores of people killing each other in the name of Jesus. I’m willing to bet that if I were to tell you that this episode will focus on the people who came to the area that would become U.S. to flee religious conflict in Europe and create a society according to their version of Christianity, most of you would think of the Pilgrims and Plymouth Rock in 1620, or perhaps Jamestown in 1607. But those are not the people I’ll be speaking about today. Our story is indeed about the first Protestants in North America but it predates the Pilgrims stepping off the Mayflower by 56 years, and the settling of Jamestown by 43 years. This is the tale of the first religious conflict between European nations within the boundaries of what will later become United States. Catholic Spaniards and French Protestants square off in Florida in the 1560s, when the European wars of religion do a brief stop in the Americas as part of their ‘death, destruction and damnation’ world tour.

If you feel generous and enjoy History on Fire, please consider joining my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to access plenty of bonus content.

All the links to History on Fire social media can be found at our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HOF YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Substack⁠

⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠TikTok⁠

JAPAN TOUR! Let’s head out to Japan in Oct 2026. All the details at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Geek Nation Tours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Please, check out this month’s sponsor at https://www.rula.com/hof for affordable, accessible therapy and mental health care.

Throughout history, people have used mushrooms (such as Lion’s Mane, Turkey Tail, Cordyceps, Reishi and Chaga) for their medicinal properties. My friends started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Purest Mushrooms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where they offer some of the best quality mushrooms you can find on the market at affordable prices. Use code historyonfire at checkout for a discount.

Bison is some of the healthiest meat you could possibly eat. Get yours at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dakota Pure Bison⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. History on Fire listeners get a discount by using the code HOF10 at checkout.

This episode is supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Arizona State University⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about how ASU supports all learners through all stages of life.

My friend James Pieratt is one of the world’s top functional training experts, and a record-breaking hybrid athlete. Use the code WH25 for a 25% discount on all of his training programs at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wild Hunt Conditioning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Nation… a term inherently so vague and so contradictory that it must always be taken in a mystic sense, as meaning whatever the ruling classes hold it convenient to mean at the moment.” Lewis Mumford

This is a story about politics, faith, paranoia, betrayal and conspiracy theories. More specifically, this is about the origin of the French wars of religion. In this episode, we play with Martin Luther, the printing press, Caterina de Medici, the Merindol massacre, human Christmas decoration, and the Guise brothers. We’ll run into the king of France demanding to be a spectator to his teenage son and his bride having sex for the first time. We’ll see a queen drinking copious amounts of a mule’s urine to supposedly facilitate pregnancy. We’ll consider the fate of Count Sebastiano de Montecuccoli, who was accused of poisoning the heir to the throne so he was tied to four horses sent running in opposite directions. We’ll chat about Henry II who sent his 13-year-old to marry an enemy of the country, and then managed to die at a joust during her wedding celebrations. And of course, much, much more.

If you feel generous and enjoy History on Fire, please consider joining my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to access plenty of bonus content. 

All the links to History on Fire social media can be found at our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HOF YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Substack

Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok

JAPAN TOUR! Let’s head out to Japan in Oct 2026. All the details at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Geek Nation Tours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

My daughter’s links: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/isabellahanbolelli⁠⁠ 

Throughout history, people have used mushrooms (such as Lion’s Mane, Turkey Tail, Cordyceps, Reishi and Chaga) for their medicinal properties. My friends started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Purest Mushrooms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where they offer some of the best quality mushrooms you can find on the market at affordable prices. Use code historyonfire at checkout for a discount.

Bison is some of the healthiest meat you could possibly eat. Get yours at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dakota Pure Bison⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. History on Fire listeners get a discount by using the code HOF10 at checkout.

This episode is supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Arizona State University⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about how ASU supports all learners through all stages of life.

My friend James Pieratt is one of the world’s top functional training experts, and a record-breaking hybrid athlete. Use the code WH25 for a 25% discount on all of his training programs at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wild Hunt Conditioning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Everything resounded with the confused noise of terrifying threats and shrieks of despairing anguish blended with the wailing of women and children.” - Livy

Later this year, I will launch a podcast that will run separately from History on Fire, and it will be entirely dedicated to Roman history. Today, I’ll give you a little taste of what’s coming up. In this episode, I’ll share with you a tale from approximately the 390s BCE: it’s the story of Rome’s triumph over its Etruscan rival Veii, before disaster strikes in the forms of a tribe of Gauls sacking the city. Among today’s offerings: the myth of Sisyphus, the dictatorship of Marcus Furius Camillus, the massacre at Veii, the sin of hubris, Nemesis knocking at Rome’s door, the downfall of Rome’s hero, the Italian Celts, Gauls migrating because of wine, the botched diplomatic mission at Clusium, Taoist advice, Tolkien, the origin of panic, Rome’s elders facing the Gauls, the sacred geese, “Woe to the vanquished.”

If you feel generous and enjoy History on Fire, please consider joining my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to access plenty of bonus content. 

All the links to History on Fire social media can be found at our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HOF YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

JAPAN TOUR! Let’s head out to Japan in Oct 2026. All the details at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Geek Nation Tours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

My daughter’s links: ⁠https://linktr.ee/isabellahanbolelli⁠ 

Throughout history, people have used mushrooms (such as Lion’s Mane, Turkey Tail, Cordyceps, Reishi and Chaga) for their medicinal properties. My friends started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Purest Mushrooms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where they offer some of the best quality mushrooms you can find on the market at affordable prices. Use code historyonfire at checkout for a discount.

Bison is some of the healthiest meat you could possibly eat. Get yours at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dakota Pure Bison⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. History on Fire listeners get a discount by using the code HOF10 at checkout.

This episode is supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Arizona State University⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about how ASU supports all learners through all stages of life.

My friend James Pieratt is one of the world’s top functional training experts, and a record-breaking hybrid athlete. Use the code WH25 for a 25% discount on all of his training programs at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wild Hunt Conditioning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This story has everything. Raids to enslave people. A bloody rebellion at sea. Piracy. A diplomatic crisis pitting Spain, the United States and England at odds with each other. High stakes courtroom drama which sparked intense clashes between abolitionists and cheerleaders of slavery. Some of the most powerful people in the world debating the pros and cons of the case, including government officials from multiple countries, three American presidents (Adams, Martin Van Buren, and John Tyler), and at least a couple of queens (Queen Victoria of Britain and Queen Isabella II of Spain). A 73 year-old former US President arguing in front of the Supreme Court for the freedom of a group of Africans, and stating that protecting them was the greatest event in his life. Despite having all these epic ingredients, the tale I’m about to tell you had faded into obscurity until the 1960s. And even then, it remained mostly unknown until good, ole Steven Spielberg made a movie about it in the 1990s. Incidentally, that’s one of the few reasons why this story has attracted any attention. Even to this day, preciously little about this is usually found in academic texts on U.S. history.

If you feel generous and enjoy History on Fire, please consider joining my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to access plenty of bonus content. 

All the links to History on Fire social media can be found at our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, including:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HOF YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

JAPAN TOUR! Let’s head out to Japan in Oct 2026. All the details at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Geek Nation Tours⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

My daughter’s links: https://linktr.ee/isabellahanbolelli 

Throughout history, people have used mushrooms (such as Lion’s Mane, Turkey Tail, Cordyceps, Reishi and Chaga) for their medicinal properties. My friends started ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Purest Mushrooms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ where they offer some of the best quality mushrooms you can find on the market at affordable prices. Use code historyonfire at checkout for a discount.

Bison is some of the healthiest meat you could possibly eat. Get yours at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dakota Pure Bison⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. History on Fire listeners get a discount by using the code HOF10 at checkout.

This episode is supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Arizona State University⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about how ASU supports all learners through all stages of life.

My friend James Pieratt is one of the world’s top functional training experts, and a record-breaking hybrid athlete. Use the code WH25 for a 25% discount on all of his training programs at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wild Hunt Conditioning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices