Being Human

"Offer it up." "I've forgiven them." "Everything happens for a reason." Every one of them is true—and every one can become a way to avoid the healing God is actually offering.
In this episode, Dr. Greg names spiritual bypassing: using prayer, devotion, and even good theology to step around grief, anger, and the wounds still waiting underneath. He explains why grace builds on nature, and why God heals only the humanity we're willing to bring into the light.
Key Topics:
Why the one escape nobody warns you about is the one everyone applauds: prayer, retreats, "offering it up"
How "I've already forgiven them" can be completely true and still leave the same wound bleeding for years
Why "I'm still discerning" is sometimes just stalling with a halo on it
How taking Mary or Joseph as your parent can heal a wound—or quietly become the reason you never grieve the one you actually had
Why the anger you keep spiritualizing away might be the exact thing you most need to listen to
Why you can pray for years, go to confession after confession, and still land in the same cycle—and what that finally reveals
Learn More:
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Join us at the Summit of Integration this October in Dallas
Online presentation on anxiety: Learn the "secret" Dr. Greg holds back in this episode—that the anxiety itself isn't the problem 
Presence Virtual Retreat: Practice the presence of God and trustful surrender 
Integrated Life app: Bring every part of yourself into the light—JP2's meaning of integration 
State of the Institute replay: Hear the massive "Year of JP2" news
The Personalist Cure: Dr. Greg's book on John Paul II's philosophy and its role in psychology
Person and Act: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) philosophical work on integration and the acting person, referenced in this episode
Our God's Brother: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) play about Brother Albert 
Previous episodes in this series on Avoidance: Ep. #286: A Mental Tug of War: Inside the Avoidant Mind and the Burden of Being Known
Ep. #287: We Are Not Robots: Why Connection Is Not Optional for Human Flourishing

Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns

Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation

Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation

Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing

Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary

Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens
Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski

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There's a lot of talk recently about whether AI can be considered a person. But the more serious question might be whether people are becoming too much like AI—learning to live without real connection. To keep our distance. To avoid vulnerability. To convince ourselves that we don't need anyone.
In this episode, Dr. Greg continues the series on avoidance by turning to schizoid personality: the pattern where the wish for connection hasn't just been buried by fear, but has gone quiet altogether. Drawing on the personalism of St. John Paul II, he shows why we stay made out of relationship, for relationship—even when the desire seems gone.
Key Topics:
Why "I don't need anyone" can be a wound dressed up as strength
How the desire for connection can go so quiet it reads as no desire at all
What that flood of relief when plans fall through is actually telling you
How being neglected early teaches you to neglect yourself—and call it your personality
Why "self-help" was never going to be enough, and real healing needs another person
Why fearing closeness and feeling indifferent to it look identical from the outside but run on opposite engines
 Learn More:
Previous episode in this series on avoidance: Ep. #286: A Mental Tug of War: Inside the Avoidant Mind and the Burden of Being Known

Previous episode on attachment theory: Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships

Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens
Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski

Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns

Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation

Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation

Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing

Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary

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Avoidance looks like not wanting people. It's almost always the opposite: wanting connection so badly that being seen feels like the biggest risk of all.
In this episode, Dr. Greg explores avoidant personality patterns through the lens of Catholic anthropology—where the quiet tug-of-war between longing to be known and fearing rejection comes from, and how the difference between what happens in us and what we choose opens a path toward freedom.
Key Topics:
Why "I just need my space" can be a wall dressed up as a boundary
How a childhood full of real love—not neglect—can still teach you that being seen means being blamed
Why avoidant personality isn't the same as avoidant attachment, even though they share a name
What the text you rewrite four times before sending is actually protecting you from
Why even your anger can be an imitation of Christ, not something to hide
How the difference between what "happens" in you and what you choose to do can pull you out of hiding
Learn More:
Previous episode on attachment theory: Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships

Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens
Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski

Person and Act: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) philosophical work on the acting person, referenced in this episode
Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns

Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation

Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation

Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing

Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary

Got a Question for Dr. Greg? Have a topic suggestion? Want to share your thoughts? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com—we'd love to hear from you!
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Getting it all off your chest is supposed to be healing. But sometimes the venting that feels like relief is quietly feeding your resentment instead. In this episode, Dr. Greg sits down with Fr. Gregory Pine—author of Training the Tongue—to explore why the deepest purpose of speech is communion, and how to tell the difference between working through your pain and simply settling the score.
Key Topics:
Why the real purpose of speech isn't expressing yourself — it's communion
How to tell whether you're venting toward healing or just venting to settle the score
Why the friend who only ever agrees with you might be the one holding you back
What separates a listener who helps you grow from one who only feeds your anger
Why "getting it off your chest" can leave the wound exactly where it was
How custody of the tongue is good news, not one more rule to feel guilty about
Learn More:
Fr. Gregory Pine's book: Training the Tongue and Growing Beyond Sins of Speech
Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens
Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski

Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns

Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation

Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation

Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing

Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary

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Your prayer life can be how you avoid healing. In this final episode of the antisocial series, Dr. Greg unpacks why a retreat high or a powerful devotional moment can convince you the healing is done — when the actual work hasn't started yet, and why that work happens in the small, unglamorous moments nobody puts on a holy card. 
Key Topics:
Why the most moving retreat of your life can leave you exactly the same — and what actually changes you
What "magical penance" reveals about the parts of us that prefer grand gestures to real repair
Why healing happens in what you do on an ordinary Tuesday, not in the moments when everything breaks open
How a soft heart and a defenseless heart are not the same thing — and why that distinction changes everything
Why the urge to be "healed already" is itself a form of the pattern you're trying to change
Why re-hardening after you've opened up isn't failure — it's part of doing the reps
Learn More:
Earlier in this series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Antisocial Part 1 — Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns
Antisocial Part 2 — Ep. #282: You're (Probably) Not a Serial Killer—But You May Share Some of Their Antisocial Traits
Antisocial Part 3 — Ep. #283: "I Will Never Be Hurt Again": How Jesus' Sacred Heart Breaks the Cycle

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen — the book Dr. Greg references on accompaniment and the standard of showing up, not being healed
Person and Act by Karol Wojtyła (Pope St. John Paul II)
Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyła (Pope St. John Paul II)
Previous episode on boundaries: Ep. #254: Navigating "Toxic" Relationships: Setting Boundaries Without Losing Charity

Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation

Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation

Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing

Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary

Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment
Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn