Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:
Growing up, my mom has always talked poorly about her body. As a kid, I remember her asking my dad if other women were attractive and making demeaning comments about women who weighed more than her. Now I’m engaged, and as she chooses a dress, she keeps saying she’ll lose 10 pounds and worries because my future mother-in-law is thinner. She didn’t have parents who delighted in her and often seeks reassurance from us. Should I keep saying, “You’re beautiful,” or is there something better I could say?
My wife and I just found out we’re pregnant with our third baby—only four months after our second—and we’re only 25. We’ve worked with NFP coaches and followed different methods, yet here we are. We would have chosen abstinence if we knew it wouldn’t work, but it’s too late now. I feel anxious and ashamed, like I didn’t sacrifice enough. People around us don’t understand this lifestyle, and I feel tempted to hide the pregnancy. How do I talk to others about this, and how do I embrace this child with love?
I struggle with the idea of Jesus as the bridegroom. I’ve heard you talk about it, but I still don’t understand. In one episode, a woman in abusive marriages longed for Jesus instead, and you said she could offer her suffering for others. I don’t know her situation, but the Church teaches against divorce, so how does that fit? Isn’t marriage about leading your spouse to heaven? I also struggle with the idea of not being married in heaven. I don’t want to offend God—I just don’t understand.

Resources:
Course Schedule
⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
Is there any insight through the lens of theology of the body as to why God gave male humans and male mammals nipples? It has always baffled me.
When I was 14, I watched the first person I ever loved choose my best friend instead of me, right in front of my eyes. This event seared into my body a story, or perhaps a lie, which is: the most beautiful one will never choose me. Since then, I've been obsessed with finding the perfect girl and somehow convincing her to love me. As you can imagine, this has led to several failed dating relationships that all followed the same pattern of initial infatuation, disillusionment, and finally separation. I recently went back to confession for the first time in several years, and after telling the priest this story, he counseled me to meditate on the doctrine of election—that God, the most beautiful one, has already chosen me. I am so thankful for God's love, but I can't help feeling it is insufficient to meet this need and heal my wound. After all, didn't God choose me purely out of His own grace and love rather than because of anything in me that was desirable or beautiful? How then can I trust that I am worthy of love?
As a disciple of Christ, I feel a desire to take his call to evangelize more seriously. I love my faith and want others to taste and see its beauty too. However, I’m not sure of the best approach. I have some secular coworkers, and the lifestyle they talk about seems so out of touch with the gospel. I’m not sure how to relate it to them without coming across as a goody-two-shoes. How can I go about spreading the word in situations such as those and shining the light of Christ?

Resources:
The Ballad of Wallis Island Trailer
Course Schedule
🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

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🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
You often say the cross is the marriage bed. If Jesus took on all suffering there, can embracing our own suffering be a marital act? When we accept daily sufferings—from trauma to small annoyances—does that become, bluntly, a kind of spiritual intercourse? What would that mean practically? I’d love your thoughts.
My husband and I have been married three years and have never climaxed at the same time. I feel frustrated and even scrupulous about it. I’ve heard that simultaneous climax is ideal, but I don’t understand how that’s physically possible. When I’m left unsatisfied after my husband finishes, I worry it’s sinful for him to help me climax afterward. How can we pursue mutual climax without becoming scrupulous or overly technical?
I’m almost 33 and have been with my boyfriend for five years. We’ve grown deeply in faith, and he’s a wonderful Catholic man. I long for marriage and children, but I’m stuck discerning whether he’s the one. I’ve prayed fervently, gone to adoration, and tried to surrender my anxieties to God, yet I feel no clarity. Time feels like it’s running out, and he’s patiently waiting. How do I truly hear God’s voice in such a big decision? 

Resources:
Word Made Fresh Podcast on YouTube
Course Schedule
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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:
I understand that the only place for a man’s seed is the woman’s garden, but what about during pregnancy? Since it’s not possible for the couple to conceive another child, I’m not sure if or why it would matter.
I’ve always had a special devotion to Jesus in the Eucharist and knew from a young age that it is truly His body, blood, soul, and divinity. I receive Him with great joy, awe, and delight, but sometimes after Communion I feel an ache in my heart for an earthly spouse. By God’s grace, I’ve remained chaste for 38 years and would joyfully give my virginity to my future spouse if God wills marriage. Why might this desire arise after receiving the Eucharist?
My fiancé and I were taking one of our pre-Cana classes together when the topic of sexual intimacy in the past came up. I asked if he had ever had sex, assuming that because we’re both Catholic, we had both saved ourselves for marriage. He told me he had sex with several women in his past, deeply regrets it, and is now re-waiting for marriage with me. This broke my heart, and I’m still healing. How can I regain trust and heal from this?

Resources:
⁠Event Schedule⁠
⁠Good News About Sex & Marriage⁠

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Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠⁠

---

⁠Submit you question here!⁠

---

🎟️ ⁠Event Schedule⁠

📚 ⁠⁠⁠Course Schedule⁠

🏔️ ⁠Pilgrimages⁠

🧠 ⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

–This episode is sponsored by Truthly–

Questions answered this episode:
A man in his 50s had a vasectomy years ago and, after a conversion, is now discerning marriage with a Catholic woman of childbearing age. Must he attempt a reversal for the marriage to be valid? If it’s possible and not life-threatening, should he try to restore his generative power? If it fails and he remains sterile, that wouldn’t invalidate the marriage if she knows. But if he refuses to consider reversal, is he excluding the procreative meaning of marriage? Can fear of risks justify not attempting it?
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. The Church also teaches that a man and woman are not truly married until the marriage has been consummated. So how can we call Joseph the spouse of Mary if their marriage wasn’t consummated, and why is it important that Mary remains a virgin?
My roommate, who is Catholic, just told me she’s moving because she’s dating a woman. I had no idea she’s been experiencing same-sex attraction for years. She said she’s talked with the Lord and doesn’t feel He’s telling her this is wrong. She’s not looking for guidance in resisting it or open to correction. How do I love and support her without compromising my beliefs? She asked me not to tell anyone, but I feel very alone and troubled. Will she keep going to Mass? Would she receive the Eucharist? Why does she feel such a deep connection and love with this woman?

Resources:
Colorado Ski Retreat with Christopher 
Course Schedule
Vasectomy Reversals

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

---

🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠

📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠

⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠

---

Submit you question here!

---

🎟️ Event Schedule

📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule

🏔️ Pilgrimages

🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠