Raising Godly Boys Minute

Detour ahead!

As you drive down the highway, you’ll encounter many road signs. But one of the most annoying is the detour.

When our plans of traveling to our destination are hindered, we grow frustrated by the delay and inconvenience.

But detours don’t only happen on the highway. The parenting journey also has them. Perhaps you love football, but your son doesn’t. Maybe he likes to read, but you’d rather wrestle with him.

Whatever the detour to your original plans and expectations, take comfort in knowing that God is in control. That detour that you find so annoying and frustrating may be the very thing God uses to accomplish his will in the future. Above all, trust God’s guidance even when you cannot see where life’s road is taking you or your son.

For more encouragement and parenting advice, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

How do you talk to your son?

When Cynthia’s son was little, she frequently called him pet names, like “Bubs.” One day, when her son was twelve, he said “Please don’t call me that anymore.” Cynthia was surprised, but then later, she understood. Her son was becoming a man, and wanted to be treated as such.

Follow Cynthia’s lead– when your son becomes a preteen, drop any childlike nicknames and begin to refer to him as a young man, not a boy.

Pediatrician Dr. Meg Meeker also suggests using phrases such as “I like the way you think” and “You sure are a good brother.” Affirm who your son is, rather than what he does, and you will build him up even more than you realize.

For more ideas for raising boys to be godly men, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Here’s a parenting strategy to try with your son…try the “walk and talk.”

When you need to address a behavior or share some difficult news, it can be tempting to lecture your son. But if you sit him down, look him in the eye, and start talking, your boy will probably avert his eyes and lose focus.

Try this instead. Lace up your walking shoes, put the dog on its lead, and take your son for a long walk around your neighborhood. As you walk, calmly talk, with short and to-the-point sentences.

Psychologists have found that while women prefer face-to-face interaction, men actually listen much more effectively when they are doing a shoulder-to-shoulder activity.

So skip the lecture, and head outside. Your son will thank you.

For more ideas for raising boys to be godly men, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Does your son have a gremlin?

An author named Rick Carson created a metaphor out of the destructive creatures from the popular 80s movie. He suggests that negative thoughts are like gremlins– destroying our self esteem.

With the rates of depression continuing to rise for young men today, it’s safe to assume that our sons struggle with their own thought-gremlins. So what can we do to help them “tame the beast,” so to speak?

Proverbs 23:7 reminds us that, “as someone thinks within himself, so he is.”  First, model positive self-talk.  When you mess up, instead of saying, “I am dumb,” say, “I need to work on that.” And memorize scripture with your son that reminds him of his identity in Christ. Jeremiah 1:5 is a great place to start.

To learn about the five critical needs of boys, visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.

Does your son need you?

When Christina’s son turned 12, he stopped talking and sharing things with her and, instead, went to his dad for advice. Christina wondered if she would ever feel close to her son again.

But moms like Christina don’t need to worry. This separation is not only common, but necessary. Teen boys focus all of their energies on watching their dad, or dad-like figures in their life, in order to see what it truly means to be a man.

If that healthy detachment from mom is successful, young men are very likely to return to their moms in young adulthood and re-establish a great relationship.

So moms, don’t be afraid to let go.  In the teen years, your son needs to not need you.

For ideas on raising boys to be godly men,  visit Trail Life USA or RaisingGodlyBoys.com.