Abject Suffering

What do goofy cowboys and queer gatekeeping have in common? Stay tuned.

BioForge is an also-ran in the world of Alone in the Dark clones, telling the story of a man who wakes up augmented into a cyborg on an alien ship. But you use the NumPad to kick, so everything neat about it goes out the window. It WAS, however, featured in a book called “1001 Games to Play Before You Die”, and boy is that list suspect.

We walked into this one completely unaware of preexisting stereotypes about professionals who drive white vans. Apparently Britons have thoughts. And as a joke game, this kind of works for a minute. So instead we talk about how to properly brand a plumbing company to attract a clientele that doesn’t really want to talk about it.

Haven: Call of the King is a PS2 platformer that doesn’t want you to think it’s a platformer. It wants you to think it’s anything and everything all at once. That’s why they don’t want you to call it a “platformer”, they want you to call it a “FreeFormer”. Which is… hey listen, we’re really sorry about this one, a lot of the episode is dedicated to trying to figure out how to get Gary a wheelbarrow. We fucked it up. Give us a chance again next week.

Nickelodeon was at the height of their powers in the 90s when they decided to start throwing more and more Nicktoons down the chute. This led to them trying to capture the grotesquery of Ren & Stimpy without any of its transgression. Thus, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters was born, a show about monsters who live in a dump trying to learn to scare humans. This predated Monsters, Inc. by several years, but still feels derivative of that movie!